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OMNICELL
Consumer 6
Consumer 6
 
Posts: 1035
Joined: Tue Nov 15, 2011 5:06 am
Blog: View Blog (954)
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- July 2019
Identity 101; so; it officinally begins; the rebuilding
   Sun Jul 21, 2019 2:25 am
Something positive is happening
   Sat Jul 20, 2019 11:54 pm
The Beatles
   Sat Jul 20, 2019 6:04 am
A place exists
   Fri Jul 19, 2019 11:21 pm
Things are changing again
   Fri Jul 19, 2019 3:41 pm
Things are heating up; Im now backing down
   Fri Jul 19, 2019 9:06 am
I have CPTSD
   Wed Jul 17, 2019 4:47 pm
Real changes are occurring
   Tue Jul 16, 2019 10:46 am
Coming back into the present
   Tue Jul 16, 2019 2:32 am
Im extremely frustrated
   Mon Jul 15, 2019 11:14 pm
Fining myself or facing myself
   Mon Jul 15, 2019 8:39 pm
Im beginning to understand
   Sun Jul 14, 2019 3:30 pm
Visualizing
   Fri Jul 12, 2019 8:28 pm
Starting from the beginning
   Fri Jul 12, 2019 3:35 pm
The trap house part 2
   Fri Jul 12, 2019 3:13 pm
The trap house; I only knew about; In the end I win
   Fri Jul 12, 2019 1:15 am
Massive Mega paradigm shift
   Thu Jul 11, 2019 3:01 pm
First post recovery conversation
   Wed Jul 10, 2019 9:55 pm
Dating and Art
   Wed Jul 10, 2019 4:44 pm
movement
   Tue Jul 09, 2019 5:56 pm
childhood abandonment
   Mon Jul 08, 2019 3:23 pm
Being single
   Mon Jul 08, 2019 3:53 am
Preview: PTSD; High School
   Sat Jul 06, 2019 10:31 pm
Fear
   Sat Jul 06, 2019 4:34 pm
Ive found some answers
   Sat Jul 06, 2019 12:41 pm
D.I.D; let me introduce myself
   Sat Jul 06, 2019 12:23 pm
PTSD; dealing with triggers.
   Fri Jul 05, 2019 5:32 am
Making me into a loser; its all about the critical voice
   Thu Jul 04, 2019 6:08 pm
Molding sound like clay; having reasons; Things are changing
   Wed Jul 03, 2019 4:25 pm
critical voice
   Wed Jul 03, 2019 6:38 am
Toxic shame
   Tue Jul 02, 2019 11:05 pm
Ive found some answers
   Tue Jul 02, 2019 7:59 am

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Visualizations

Permanent Linkby OMNICELL on Sat Jun 22, 2019 9:27 pm

Im working with visualization; These are important. Proper or well developed visualizations are what builds a childs future; Same for me; as I bring back more visualizations of my future; the past visualizations are showing up; and this would be heaven to me; to feel like I did when I was a kid before I got thrown away.
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So; Im working on it; all the things I missed; I want those scenes in my head ready to be reproduced; and its going to happen I know it is.
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Im visualizing myself dating and its working; I can feel the energy opening; and I can see others things; and its the real me; now! Not someone from the past; but its the original blue print me; But in the beginning I thought I had to have the original players from my birth time; not so; but its a struggle to get where I am; safe ground; in order to proceed to use my mind in such a creative way; it takes years of work; for me; and it has. But its paying off; Im looking forward to better visualizations; more openness and less dissociation within my imagination and wanting more connectives in my imagination when Im visualizing my goals and desires.
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The goal right now is not having something show up in front of me; I know things can show up in front of me from my imagination; therefore, its a good idea to get this visualizations stuff down first; get that energy flowing. Get it figured out baby. all of it in detail; all of it. no gaming; have all those scenes figured and played as if they’ve already happened; rehearsing thousands of times in my head and feeling every detail.
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And all of this work is bringing a special part of my childhood back to me; thats what Im hoping; I mean; I can feel it and some memories are showing up; a protected part with hope; lots of hope here; however, I need that one first manifestation; whether it be a women or a car or money or pathway to performing my art; what ever it is; Im working on it; ; and I want it to happen. So, it must manifest in my imagination first.
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One main goal; as I remember; Im hit with the end of visualizing; meaning; my abandonment comes out I see it and real feel it; the cure for this is to switch to my future desires and see them instead.
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So; by switching thoughts to other thoughts I want for my future; I do this on the fly; and keep practicing it; the point is ; I start to control my thoughts and be able to switch them to what I want for my future; and if I keep creating this way; my who thinking process is a bumping creation on a daily basis; The key; the more I imagine; the more of it shows up in front of me.
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Acceptance; This is hard; I used drugs and alcohol in the past and other distractions to stop thinking and feeling; so I would not have to deal with the responsibility of changing my life; I didnt know how to change my life; now I do know some things and Im working on it. and its working; but it takes time.
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Im not sure where Im starting; I think its art; Im not sure where its going up; but what ever it is; Im feeling the anxiety of doing what I was dreaming of.

Dissociative Disorder
CPTSD
AVPD; Social avoidance
Previous/Psychotic clinical Depression
agoraphobia
obsessive/compulsive disorder
Evolution didn't stop my death, God did .....Now what?
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