Our partner

User avatar
Consumer 6
Consumer 6
Posts: 1036
Joined: Tue Nov 15, 2011 5:06 am
Blog: View Blog (1236)
- June 2021
Problems with women
   Mon Jun 14, 2021 12:00 am

+ May 2021
+ April 2021
+ March 2021
+ February 2021
+ January 2021
+ December 2020
+ November 2020
+ October 2020
+ September 2020
+ August 2020
+ July 2020
+ June 2020
+ May 2020
+ April 2020
+ March 2020
+ February 2020
+ January 2020
+ December 2019
+ November 2019
+ October 2019
+ September 2019
+ August 2019
+ July 2019
+ June 2019
+ May 2019
+ April 2019
+ March 2019
+ February 2019
+ January 2019
+ December 2018
+ November 2018
+ October 2018
+ September 2018
+ August 2018
+ July 2018
+ June 2018
+ May 2018
+ April 2018
+ March 2018
+ February 2018
+ January 2018
+ December 2017
+ November 2017
+ October 2017
+ September 2017
+ August 2017
+ July 2017
+ June 2017
+ May 2017
+ April 2017
+ March 2017
+ February 2017
+ January 2017
+ December 2016
+ November 2016
+ September 2016
+ August 2016
+ July 2016
+ June 2016
+ May 2016
+ April 2016
+ March 2016
+ February 2016
+ January 2016
+ December 2015
+ November 2015
+ October 2015
+ September 2015
+ August 2015
+ April 2015
+ March 2015
+ February 2015
+ January 2015
+ December 2014
+ November 2014
+ October 2014
+ September 2014
+ August 2014
+ July 2014
+ June 2014
+ May 2014
+ April 2014
+ March 2014
+ February 2014
+ January 2014
+ December 2013
+ November 2013
+ October 2013
+ September 2013
+ August 2013
+ July 2013
+ June 2013
+ May 2013
+ April 2013
+ March 2013
+ February 2013
+ January 2013
+ December 2012
+ November 2012
+ October 2012
+ September 2012
+ August 2012
+ July 2012
+ June 2012
+ May 2012
+ April 2012
+ March 2012
+ February 2012
+ January 2012
+ December 2011
+ November 2011
Search Blogs


Permanent Linkby OMNICELL on Sun Jul 28, 2013 6:18 am

Im always having to look over my shoulder! Theres always someone appearing at times behind me ( I mean this literally), not always, yet, at those moments when I start to feel peace, I get caught at the wrong time, when my defenses are down. It happens all the time! People with contempt that wont give me the credit I deserve. Ive found Im hanging with the wrong people. Yet, God is not finished with those people in my life!
Im the kind of person someone will give credit to, but not invite out for the annual boat party! They smile at me to my face, but would never invite me out socially.

Im the type of person that girls have liked, but Im to much trouble to take seriously! They will secretly bring a man-in-waiting from the side, acting like its just a friend; they are not just friends. When I see this behavior, Im finished with the person on a permanent basis! I tend to judge the whole of the group they are with! if one person is a thief, I shun the whole group! ( birds of a feather flock together).

Ive recently been asking people out! Out can mean anything! Im not dating anyone! I am discovering things. People are deceptive ; they are an evil lot. Not everyone is evil! One has to go through each person at a time to find out what they are about! this is hard work, they are deceptive and don't say everything up front ( meaning there motives). I have found they will call me there friends.. They are lying, I am not there friends. They are not two faced, they were never interested in me in the first place, its my narcissistic perceptions that they are interested in me! They are in love with themselves and looking for a way to prove it at my expense.

Ive had spiritual interest from others, However, they were deceitful liars and the process abruptly goes nowhere! ITs a very strange thing to have someone connect with me spiritually and have a watered down conscious. I appreciate there interest in me and the spiritual connection, However, if they don't get what they want when they want it, they start dating someone else secretly while waiting for me, then cover it up! These are not the type of people I want to hang around with! This is a specific type of people; they are not my kind of people! I have different value and cultural system! I do not respond to this type of behavior; I run from it! I find it horrible and degrading!

If your a lier, if you are deceitful, you need to hang out with your own kind, you do not need to hangout with me! Im in the middle of understanding this.. However, I lie and am deceitful, Im no different then any other person. I have a conscious, I do not want to apply this trade to you, I would rather right a song using my anger then take it out on a you!

I find it horrible that I have to write a blog to express myself; it makes me sick that I have no friends. Im not surprised. Possibly I need better people to associate with.

money is a big deal:
I have found many people want nothing to do with me: they have status with money! They want to hang with money! Its part of there identity! They do not care who or what I am as a person! I am a joke to them, and they would like an opportunity to prove it! I have found people like this to be liars. nothing new under the sun! I am also a liar, however, I attempt not to lie to you! I will keep my lies for my songs and leave you be!

I am naive,

I am holy scared of being an honest man! Im afraid of what is required of me! I do not fit the stereo typical role of the honest person! I try to be honest, I have very little in this world monetarily.

I find myself around allot of manipulators. I am praying for Gods help, that I learn what Im suppose to learn and slowly move on!

I am judged as lazy and no good, living off the system. I have very little respect from people! I am hated and scorned. At times I forget this, and think someone likes me when they do not! I have a mass stigma associated with me! I forget; Lots of prejudice thrown my way at times!

ITs hard to find open people that do not judge me! Its hard to remember Im still in the learning process! Im just coming out of many symptoms of dissociative disorder! people do not see my problems, they do not understand me, or why Im on social security! and they don't care, they judge!

The goal is gaining sanity! Then I will not hang with people that judge me! I have to wise up remember; just because Im getting better, does not mean anyone else is " with me"! believes in me, cares about me, or has a good opinion of me! many people have a negative opinion of me!

I am never asked anything! if someone did ask me a question, they would be admitting I have status. I am hated by people, or loathed by people! I will never be invited to there house, or for an event. and I will never go to an event if I am not treated with the proper level of respect that God has deemed me!

I am disrespected and hated; shunned. However, the recovery process God laid out is working, and these idiots that are surrounding me are part of the players in Gods plans to keep me alive one more day! These are lier's and they worship the father of lies from down below, yet, God forces them to help me and turn in my direction when I need help!

I must remember that at times I take chances and get of the path; I pay for it through humiliation and hardship! Im just practicing! nothing is serious! not everyone is on my side nor cares to be! I remember God and to stay with God through All things.

Societies are graveyards. I must remember this, they are organized killing machines in one form or another!

I have to remember why Im here! Im here to talk to God, to worship God, nothing more! I am alive a second time because of God, not because of people! People were never on my side from the beginning and they never will be!

Dissociative Disorder
AVPD; Social avoidance
Previous/Psychotic clinical Depression
obsessive/compulsive disorder
Evolution didn't stop my death, God did .....Now what?
0 Comments Viewed 5216 times

Who is online

Registered users: AdsBot [Google], Bing [Bot], DanielPeAby, deathnate4, Google [Bot], Google Adsense [Bot], Google Feedfetcher, kittylover, littleDaria, Majestic-12 [Bot], Snaga, Terry E.