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OMNICELL
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Posts: 1035
Joined: Tue Nov 15, 2011 5:06 am
Blog: View Blog (1020)
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Age doesn't matter; PTSD does
   Sat Oct 12, 2019 11:17 pm
A fear of getting laid; a horrible fear
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   Wed Oct 09, 2019 5:00 am
Signs of handling reality
   Mon Oct 07, 2019 9:20 am

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Trying to figure out the next step!

Permanent Linkby OMNICELL on Sun Aug 26, 2018 7:27 pm

Im trying to figure out the next step to my development! Im not sure what it is! Im asking the universe for the next levels of development! Their is a hard gap that lies beyond where Im at right now! My most important areas of development; Asian-soulmate, music creation, writing creation! These 3 areas are of most importance! Its almost impossible to participate within them! They bring up to much pain from the loss of the past!
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Most losses are centered around the losing of my childhood home! That is the first picture that comes up when young! the anger and fear involved!
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I have to feel the loss of my childhood home and way of life and future; it was like someone burned down my city and I had to leave an orphan! I never got to go back!
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So; all of that has to be grieved some how if Im going move forward in my life! The universe must step in with answers; also; later childhood and adolescence and age 13; all need to be dealt with; I could not protect myself; I was a mass of trauma and slowly being demoralized through the school system and destroyed! and being raped and molested where I was living! All of this time period has to be dealt with!

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Im not sure how to deal with any of this! Im waiting on the universe for plans to break thought these things!

Dissociative Disorder
CPTSD
AVPD; Social avoidance
Previous/Psychotic clinical Depression
agoraphobia
obsessive/compulsive disorder
Evolution didn't stop my death, God did .....Now what?
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