Im trying to figure out the next step to my development! Im not sure what it is! Im asking the universe for the next levels of development! Their is a hard gap that lies beyond where Im at right now! My most important areas of development; Asian-soulmate, music creation, writing creation! These 3 areas are of most importance! Its almost impossible to participate within them! They bring up to much pain from the loss of the past!
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Most losses are centered around the losing of my childhood home! That is the first picture that comes up when young! the anger and fear involved!
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I have to feel the loss of my childhood home and way of life and future; it was like someone burned down my city and I had to leave an orphan! I never got to go back!
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So; all of that has to be grieved some how if Im going move forward in my life! The universe must step in with answers; also; later childhood and adolescence and age 13; all need to be dealt with; I could not protect myself; I was a mass of trauma and slowly being demoralized through the school system and destroyed! and being raped and molested where I was living! All of this time period has to be dealt with!
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Im not sure how to deal with any of this! Im waiting on the universe for plans to break thought these things!