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OMNICELL
Consumer 6
Consumer 6
 
Posts: 1036
Joined: Tue Nov 15, 2011 5:06 am
Blog: View Blog (1145)
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- January 2021
The social; or new social begins
   Fri Jan 22, 2021 11:41 pm
I cant be friends with women
   Fri Jan 22, 2021 9:51 am
friendships... Is that what women wanted?
   Fri Jan 22, 2021 1:30 am
Problems with women I guess? My problems ?
   Thu Jan 21, 2021 10:44 pm
Stuff about sex; and not allowing sex
   Thu Jan 21, 2021 8:48 pm
Connecting the 2 halves
   Thu Jan 21, 2021 6:00 am
Now Im starting to get it
   Thu Jan 21, 2021 3:35 am
I could not compete because of my avoidant behavior
   Tue Jan 19, 2021 4:48 am
keep working at it
   Mon Jan 18, 2021 4:17 am
Wake up! Trying to become present
   Sun Jan 17, 2021 7:48 am
Planning life as an AVPD
   Sat Jan 16, 2021 7:24 am
Another break through
   Fri Jan 15, 2021 4:51 am
bulling and apologizing
   Thu Jan 14, 2021 9:17 pm
My work; to get up close in my imagination
   Thu Jan 14, 2021 7:17 am
Get right with God; God is saying
   Thu Jan 14, 2021 1:02 am
The message about the sociopath
   Sat Jan 09, 2021 2:24 pm
Moving forward
   Sat Jan 09, 2021 4:53 am
Beginning to move forward
   Fri Jan 08, 2021 5:11 pm
Im alone again; things are changing.
   Thu Jan 07, 2021 10:17 am

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Trusting people again

Permanent Linkby OMNICELL on Sun Sep 16, 2018 2:15 pm

Trusting people means decent people; not the people at some of the chemical based recovery meetings I go to; Ive written most of them off! The problem is; when sociopaths from the jails show up; some of them will start taking over the meetings; acting like their the head king pins of the meetings; this attracts others like them!
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Imagine you have 10 people with chemical addictions! 5 out of the 10 are criminals with criminal minds; in n out of DOC. Soon; if sociopaths take over the meetings acting as leaders; this could include a man/women team; they will attract more addicts like themselves; not all addicts are criminals! Many in this day n age are regular people with a problem! However, the bad crop from this bunch will take over and bring their friends along; and this will attract more sociopathic people; Soon, the recovery process is full of active minded criminals looking to become clean or sober or relieved from hurts habits and hang ups; still criminal minded with no conscious! Soon; the whole room is filled with this level of people! The good people are driven out; the evil remains! New people show up and buy into this! Soon; the good people of that crew leaving; leaving a full room of twisted warped people with no conscious. When I attempt to sit with these people; one is OK if they dont need anything from these people because they are not safe! However, no one I know goes into the recovery process not needing a social life! If Im in a group of people; Im going to attempt to try to get close to someone! In my case; I get hurt; they are a bunch of criminal; including the women!
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Women in meetings! ITs hard; a good looking women comes into the meetings; she looks normal, acts intelligent! I find out the hard way she is a predator like the rest of them! She plays me while taking interest in another guy at the same time and could care less! I go into shock and leave the meetings because their not safe! And their not; not while peopler attempting to get my affections simply for the sadistic pleasure of hurting someone! Who would want to spend their time in a place like that! Ive been hurt so many times; I cant describe it!
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Why would I go to the recovery process; I have no other life outside it!
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Im now seriously trying to Got the universe/God to help me heal and find other people to associate with! I have to heal up first; its happening!
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Ive found that I attract certain people and many I do not!
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I have to learn how to attract regular people!
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I want a girlfriend; for obvious reasons; companionship! I have to get over the past! move on! Its complicated now that I wont take anyone seriously unless they have an Asian background; I did a soulmate search and thats that!
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Trusting people again; this has to do with meeting new people and learning to have my guard up and feel safe!
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Having boundaries in tact! Thats what this means! Its very hard to face people and have boundaries; I have to much PTSD concerning what happened to me; my life being thrown away completely with no regard for it or for my future or for any other concepts! I was moved away and thrown away! nothing I could do put watch my precious life slowly destroyed in front of me until I was no more!
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Im now in a new life; and attempting to come out of the old one! and its happening; its a scary ride; I have no idea of my limits or limitation concerning my fears! I was unable to get close to anyone for a large part of my life! Now; Im attempting it again; its like going out into a pool full of sharks and alligators while someone tells me their tame and wont hurt anyone; Ill have to find out for myself! or learn to avoid them!

Dissociative Disorder
CPTSD
AVPD; Social avoidance
Previous/Psychotic clinical Depression
agoraphobia
obsessive/compulsive disorder
Evolution didn't stop my death, God did .....Now what?
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