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Consumer 6
Posts: 1035
Joined: Tue Nov 15, 2011 5:06 am
Blog: View Blog (1025)
- November 2019
Social skills improving
   Thu Nov 07, 2019 12:51 am
My goal is to work through adolescence.
   Fri Nov 01, 2019 9:16 pm

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Trusting people again

Permanent Linkby OMNICELL on Sun Sep 16, 2018 2:15 pm

Trusting people means decent people; not the people at some of the chemical based recovery meetings I go to; Ive written most of them off! The problem is; when sociopaths from the jails show up; some of them will start taking over the meetings; acting like their the head king pins of the meetings; this attracts others like them!
Imagine you have 10 people with chemical addictions! 5 out of the 10 are criminals with criminal minds; in n out of DOC. Soon; if sociopaths take over the meetings acting as leaders; this could include a man/women team; they will attract more addicts like themselves; not all addicts are criminals! Many in this day n age are regular people with a problem! However, the bad crop from this bunch will take over and bring their friends along; and this will attract more sociopathic people; Soon, the recovery process is full of active minded criminals looking to become clean or sober or relieved from hurts habits and hang ups; still criminal minded with no conscious! Soon; the whole room is filled with this level of people! The good people are driven out; the evil remains! New people show up and buy into this! Soon; the good people of that crew leaving; leaving a full room of twisted warped people with no conscious. When I attempt to sit with these people; one is OK if they dont need anything from these people because they are not safe! However, no one I know goes into the recovery process not needing a social life! If Im in a group of people; Im going to attempt to try to get close to someone! In my case; I get hurt; they are a bunch of criminal; including the women!
Women in meetings! ITs hard; a good looking women comes into the meetings; she looks normal, acts intelligent! I find out the hard way she is a predator like the rest of them! She plays me while taking interest in another guy at the same time and could care less! I go into shock and leave the meetings because their not safe! And their not; not while peopler attempting to get my affections simply for the sadistic pleasure of hurting someone! Who would want to spend their time in a place like that! Ive been hurt so many times; I cant describe it!
Why would I go to the recovery process; I have no other life outside it!
Im now seriously trying to Got the universe/God to help me heal and find other people to associate with! I have to heal up first; its happening!
Ive found that I attract certain people and many I do not!
I have to learn how to attract regular people!
I want a girlfriend; for obvious reasons; companionship! I have to get over the past! move on! Its complicated now that I wont take anyone seriously unless they have an Asian background; I did a soulmate search and thats that!
Trusting people again; this has to do with meeting new people and learning to have my guard up and feel safe!
Having boundaries in tact! Thats what this means! Its very hard to face people and have boundaries; I have to much PTSD concerning what happened to me; my life being thrown away completely with no regard for it or for my future or for any other concepts! I was moved away and thrown away! nothing I could do put watch my precious life slowly destroyed in front of me until I was no more!
Im now in a new life; and attempting to come out of the old one! and its happening; its a scary ride; I have no idea of my limits or limitation concerning my fears! I was unable to get close to anyone for a large part of my life! Now; Im attempting it again; its like going out into a pool full of sharks and alligators while someone tells me their tame and wont hurt anyone; Ill have to find out for myself! or learn to avoid them!

Dissociative Disorder
AVPD; Social avoidance
Previous/Psychotic clinical Depression
obsessive/compulsive disorder
Evolution didn't stop my death, God did .....Now what?
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