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OMNICELL
Consumer 6
Consumer 6
 
Posts: 1035
Joined: Tue Nov 15, 2011 5:06 am
Blog: View Blog (1025)
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- November 2019
Social skills improving
   Thu Nov 07, 2019 12:51 am
My goal is to work through adolescence.
   Fri Nov 01, 2019 9:16 pm

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Trust and women

Permanent Linkby OMNICELL on Fri Sep 11, 2015 5:52 pm

I still have women's interests; It appears I still attract my fair share of them!

Women are an attractive creature! Meaning to the eyes! They are beautiful! It takes a man a while to get over intimidation of this beauty!

In the beginning with dissociative disorder; the beginning meaning, 6 to 7 years ago, when I started the change! I learned to explore the outside world; outside of my amnesic mind!

In that process I learned many things;

I was able to attract from a distance but no more then this!

Within a few years, I could be with a women at a dance, and dance with her; not to many times! If I over did it; the next morning I would go into a dissociative catatonic state that would leave me traumatized for months! And I would isolate myself from all people, losing what relationships I had previously gained!

However, now; 7 years later, I have been able to successfully have a few relationships! Sexual behaviors, although cautious! And Ive learned how to breakup with this women without jumping off a cliff or being to freaked out!

IVe been able to physically approach women; walk up, stroll up, smile, shake hands, Introduce myself; making sure I had female preselection! Girls need to know you know other girls! They need to feel safe!
So, I tell them they are cute and to give me their phone number! And I have a cell phone or iPad or paper and pen ready for them; and I use a false time constraint! I tell them " I have to go, give it to me now"!

However, there are problems!

The biggest problem in the past; physical! I couldn't get physically close to them! This problem has been rendered in a positive direction!

Now the problem is trust!

If I attract or am attracted to 100 women; I cannot sleep with them! I do not trust them! I cant sleep with someone I don't trust! And this has been a huge problems! The girl might be cute and I want her; but I cant get close to her because I do not have a general trust established!

So, out of 100 women, I might find one that my feelings move toward! However, there is a problem! She might not find me attractive, she might be hooked up with someone else! She might loath me and think she is economically superior! She might think she is better then me!

Many reasons that a women is not available!

So, Im understanding that trust within the connection of another is what is most important now! Trust and connection is the direction of healing!
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Its very brutal to go outside back into the real world! It's a very hurtful place of horrible memories! And a childhood ripped away from me at half mast! I was ripped out of it at 10 years old! Everyone backed up and moved away! I was never heard of again!

Dissociative Disorder
CPTSD
AVPD; Social avoidance
Previous/Psychotic clinical Depression
agoraphobia
obsessive/compulsive disorder
Evolution didn't stop my death, God did .....Now what?
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