Our partner

User avatar
OMNICELL
Consumer 6
Consumer 6
 
Posts: 1035
Joined: Tue Nov 15, 2011 5:06 am
Blog: View Blog (1009)
Archives
- August 2019
Finding my voice
   Tue Aug 20, 2019 4:47 pm
Three important conversations with women
   Tue Aug 20, 2019 1:39 am
I letting socioapths attack me again; abuse me; feel demoralized
   Mon Aug 19, 2019 11:23 am
Mellowing; and idea of exploring the entrances to the gap...
   Mon Aug 19, 2019 1:20 am
A house and a backyard and 4 walls and a hobby
   Sun Aug 18, 2019 1:09 am
moving into know mans land (positive); and then through
   Fri Aug 16, 2019 9:41 pm
The Gap
   Wed Aug 14, 2019 8:37 pm
Teenage years
   Wed Aug 14, 2019 2:25 am
finding and painting rocks
   Tue Aug 13, 2019 5:14 pm
Expressing my feelings
   Tue Aug 13, 2019 3:26 pm
I know Ive never met any women to date ever....
   Tue Aug 13, 2019 11:02 am
Being alone all of my life with out women or a relationship
   Tue Aug 13, 2019 10:16 am
The wright brothers created plaines; Im creating my new life
   Tue Aug 13, 2019 8:41 am
A new era is starting; But Ive got problems
   Mon Aug 12, 2019 12:19 pm
Signs of the end is here; and a new era starting
   Sun Aug 11, 2019 6:13 pm
Trapped between 2 worlds
   Sun Aug 11, 2019 3:23 pm
Things are getting better; Im still fat; I got a problem
   Fri Aug 09, 2019 11:38 pm
Women have defeated me? and I feel deated? #1
   Fri Aug 09, 2019 6:45 am
Plans from the universe; they have cometh
   Wed Aug 07, 2019 4:39 pm
breaking things and coming together
   Wed Aug 07, 2019 11:44 am
What am I thinking about
   Wed Aug 07, 2019 4:16 am
That breaking point
   Tue Aug 06, 2019 8:45 pm
Needing my mothers permission
   Tue Aug 06, 2019 5:47 pm
And another day
   Tue Aug 06, 2019 5:03 pm
Im so right in the middle of the promises
   Tue Aug 06, 2019 4:35 pm
whats missing with music; live playing
   Mon Aug 05, 2019 11:22 pm
Women and John Denver
   Sun Aug 04, 2019 11:33 pm
Bulling
   Sun Aug 04, 2019 1:33 am
art images coming back and other things; taking action
   Sat Aug 03, 2019 8:35 pm
I wasn't suppose to break the my first girls heart....
   Sat Aug 03, 2019 12:47 pm
Take my mother out of the picture; what do I get.
   Fri Aug 02, 2019 11:47 pm
Where am at right now.
   Thu Aug 01, 2019 11:30 am

+ July 2019
+ June 2019
+ May 2019
+ April 2019
+ March 2019
+ February 2019
+ January 2019
+ December 2018
+ November 2018
+ October 2018
+ September 2018
+ August 2018
+ July 2018
+ June 2018
+ May 2018
+ April 2018
+ March 2018
+ February 2018
+ January 2018
+ December 2017
+ November 2017
+ October 2017
+ September 2017
+ August 2017
+ July 2017
+ June 2017
+ May 2017
+ April 2017
+ March 2017
+ February 2017
+ January 2017
+ December 2016
+ November 2016
+ September 2016
+ August 2016
+ July 2016
+ June 2016
+ May 2016
+ April 2016
+ March 2016
+ February 2016
+ January 2016
+ December 2015
+ November 2015
+ October 2015
+ September 2015
+ August 2015
+ April 2015
+ March 2015
+ February 2015
+ January 2015
+ December 2014
+ November 2014
+ October 2014
+ September 2014
+ August 2014
+ July 2014
+ June 2014
+ May 2014
+ April 2014
+ March 2014
+ February 2014
+ January 2014
+ December 2013
+ November 2013
+ October 2013
+ September 2013
+ August 2013
+ July 2013
+ June 2013
+ May 2013
+ April 2013
+ March 2013
+ February 2013
+ January 2013
+ December 2012
+ November 2012
+ October 2012
+ September 2012
+ August 2012
+ July 2012
+ June 2012
+ May 2012
+ April 2012
+ March 2012
+ February 2012
+ January 2012
+ December 2011
+ November 2011
Search Blogs

Trouble with women

Permanent Linkby OMNICELL on Sat Mar 26, 2016 9:10 pm

Sex; I seem to be blocked! Im scared to have relationships with women because of sex! Im holding it back or sacred to myself and not giving it out to anyone! Seems to be associated with worthlessness; giving it out to anyone! However, it could be about owner ship of my body! My Grandfather raped me! I lived their for 2 years! And I was sexually harassed! This was the same guy that brought up my mother the sociopath! This kind is a sycophant!

It could be that I think he owns my body, and I did not get permission from him to have it used by anyone else! Something like this; I can feel the intimidation and fear! I can feel the sick fear!

Im blocked from dealing with women; I don't think Im good enough to step into those shoes yet! Im not good enough for a relationship! In fact; it feels like Im having the wrong relationship!

Im in denial! From my computer; from hiding in front of it; of course I want relationships from all the women I meet! Im not sure why Im denying it! Accept Im afraid of rejection! Im afraid I will be found to be immature! Thats a big part of it!

Sexual immaturity is part of the problem! Something happened to me in the middle of Dissociative disorder! My ability to have sex stopped! I can watch porn; but not be with a real women!

What would happen if I was with a real women! I would be laughed at sexually! I doubt it! I me more freaked if she found out I didn't have a car!

I would attract the wrong women? I would attract hot sexy women and not know what to do with them! I don't have the money or them! I couldn't take care of them! I don't want a future with them!

Im scared of something! Im scarred that I will have to be present!~ this is part of it! Im blocking myself from something!

Im definitely scared of sex! Im not scared of sex; Im scared of_____________not being good enough in general for the type of women I want! If I had her, I would think Im not good enough! And since I have no money; this will prove it! And she will turn and prove it to me!

Sex; Holding it back; Bashful; but I want to give it out all over the place!

Yet; when I say this; " I want to give it out, all over the place"! Something happens to me inside!

I feel like I need a starter women with the same problems! Someone I can warm up on! Like starting a motorcycle and revving that engine!

So; sexually Im being blocked! I know that I was having sex in college! But I don't remember any of it! And I don't remember the women I dated for three years! I guess I don't want to! She was a kind of sociopath! Or pathological; or extremely shallow! Not my type! In fact; Ive never been around my type!

The problem is; Who do I have sex with! It's a strange concept; but Im not having sex with anyone; only myself while I watch porn! Why?!

Why am I only having sex with myself?

Sex; This is a new area to talk to my therapist about it

Dissociative Disorder
CPTSD
AVPD; Social avoidance
Previous/Psychotic clinical Depression
agoraphobia
obsessive/compulsive disorder
Evolution didn't stop my death, God did .....Now what?
0 Comments Viewed 5473 times

Who is online

Registered users: Allcoulors, Amythyst, Baidu [Spider], Bing [Bot], birdsong87, DaturaInnoxia, DavidMox, Google [Bot], Google Adsense [Bot], Google Feedfetcher, Homestead, IainEtc, Johnny-Jack, Majestic-12 [Bot], tinypineapple, Wally58, WhyDoIExist, Zor