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trouble manifesting/. Imagination flip

Permanent Linkby OMNICELL on Wed Oct 25, 2017 4:29 pm

Im into manifesting! Ive noticed Im apprehensive. When I was a teenager, I manifested a soulmate. One day I went to visit her; I made the mistake of telling one of the psychopaths I lived with; this psychopath was driving and I the passenger! I forgot that the psychopath can take you hostage driving; thats one thing they like to do; corner you, then attack you! I
I made the mistake of telling this psychopath about the girl; immediately I was bombarded with every hated type brutal attack abusive phrases to behead me and my future; Things of the nature that Im no good and worthless, and not in this persons league and Im nothing and worthless! and on n on! What the psychopath was suggesting is that Im a object and nothing more; and Im the psychopaths object and nothing else and don't forget it! At 15 years old or 14 years old, this had a horrible effect on me! soon, by the time I was in my late 16th birthday, I wanted out! I did not care anymore about what I had manifested; their was no foundation to live in the town I lived in; the one I met this girl! I was living with the psychopath. I realized I was not wanted their and it was not safe being their with this psychopath! Something snapped in me; I wanted out; wanted to leave that area and never come back; the whole experience seemed creepy and horrible; like living in a haunted house with demons and ghosts from hell; satanic; the truest form of satanic! Every time I lived with this psychopath when young; I could feel the coldness in the houses I lived in! no God; devoid of spirit! non-legitimate.
When I was being molested, I wanted out! I had to go somewhere! so, I went to live with my mother on the other side of the state. The reason I was living with others is because my mother abandon me and went to the other side of the state and started a new family; she is a psychopath! However, at 12 or 13 years old, and in complete shock, no home, no future; I wanted my mother; or the concept of a mother! I was 2 innocent to understand what had really happened to me; that I was thrown away from a set of psychopaths that had planned it that way from the day I was born! I had no idea of the danger I had been in! Being abused or thrown away; now; after being thrown away, I was living with child molesters and those who protect them; so, I wanted out and I just wanted to go home! but there was no home; So, I moved over to the coast; back with one of the original family members that abandon me! big mistake; but I didnt understand yet! I was 2 innocent and young!
So; why would this women( predator psychopath), take me into her house if she had thrown me away! Well; Not all psychopaths are stupid! some are brilliant and understand the laws! Psychopaths are secretive! They create a false front in front of the world; They have to; thats how they survive! They create an innocent front and underneath this, they do their dirty work, taking advantage of people for their own means or survival or kicks! Psychopaths are like Crocodiles; Their hunter/predators! They create false fronts that lure the innocent into a trap they cannot see! Then the psychopath attacks aggressively! Or brutally! This psychopath had fooled or manipulated a new family of people into allowing her into their lives; and she wanted it that way; it was new, she had her needs met; she did not want anyone from the past showing up and ruining her new family!
My mother legally had to take me in! she could not explain to her new family why she would not take her own under age son into her house! She would not be able to explain this to her work place if they found out! She had no legal choice! However, living with a psychopath is like living in a foster home; their is a deep hatred of contempt. Im from a previous family system that the psychopath tried to create then murder in order to gain something; usually monetary value! when this doesn't happen; the psychopath beheads this family experience/murders it; and finds a new host! They don't look back at the damage they cause because they do not think in terms of damage! The psychopath is a human predator!
The point; I tried to build a life at this place; this home where my mother lived! At first few weeks, the first few months; maybe! but it did not take long before I saw my step fathers attitude toward me! I was not wanted and treated like an intruder! it collapsed as soon as it started; my boat of security begin to sink the first day I set foot on their property.
The psychopath finds weaklings; looks for their weaknesses and then enters through those gates! my step father or what ever one would call this idiot was a weakling! He brought into this psychopaths lies; totally gullible; no resistance! So, I was the enemy! And thats how it is when your a foster child or the equivalent!
The psychopath creates lies concerning anyone or anything opposed to its survival! It was told to her new husband that I was a trouble maker and no good!
The point; I had no grounding; no future, no future with these scum predator non human sycophants or the area and town they lived; they were now strangers and I a stranger to them! I was 2 young to understand that there was no mother here; and never had been! No foundation existed; I was on my own, alone and didnt know it! or, didnt know it yet! I did not understand the ways of the psychopath' not yet! After this fiasco, I begin to finally question what was going on! I did not have a name for these creatures but I began to understand I was surrounded by them and they weren't human!
Back to the story; I made the mistake of telling this filth concerning my personal business. In this car, I told this psychopath everything, and I was literally verbally beheaded! At that point, I knew I was in the wrong town and round the wrong people and I left! Their was no future their and no one on my side! This psychopath was a stranger; no connection to me! nothing! After this car ride; this was the all I could take!
Blood is thicker then water; suggesting family ties; not when dealing with a psychopathic predator, their is no connection; never; not even at birth; nothing! they are complete strangers to the human race! they are not human, they hunt humans! its unfortunate if a child is born into this mess! Its truly unfortunate!
back to the story;
So, I manifested this girl; a soulmate, and I made the mistake of telling my personal achievements to this psychopath and it ruptured the whole experience; ruined it; I felt violated like it was not my story anymore! not personal anymore; my story was now owned by the psychopath! I was not safe! my story was not safe and not mine anymore; It was like being verbally raped when dealing with this psychopath concerning my achievements! nothing was mine anymore or humanly sacred! I was cut to ribbons; almost like being psychologically assaulted and beheaded! battery!
So, when I attempted to manifest something out of my imagination with God, it almost worked until this worthless psychopath got involved and ruined the whole thing! I felt violated and could no longer feel safe functioning, I cold no longer call my personal business mine; I left the area! and I left the girl behind! I did not want this anymore; involvement with this psychopath!
SO, in my past; I tried to manifest something and I was bullied or destroyed through the process of personal manifestation! Now; every time I try to manifest something for my personal life; the past comes back to haunt me and I clam up and stop believing in my manifestation; i dont feel safe; I get scared and have contempt that nothing is sacred or safe; that someone, anyone can walk into my world and violate this sacred personal developmental area between me and God and my goal; violate my holy ground!
Somehow, I have to learn again that these lighted pathways God unveils for me to my goals are safe to journey down and experience!~ This is the hardest part! yet, this is my new learning journey!

Dissociative Disorder
AVPD; Social avoidance
Previous/Psychotic clinical Depression
obsessive/compulsive disorder
Evolution didn't stop my death, God did .....Now what?
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