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OMNICELL
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Joined: Tue Nov 15, 2011 5:06 am
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Transcending changes!

Permanent Linkby OMNICELL on Wed Sep 30, 2015 1:25 am

The core of the problem; I saw it today! I rode by my nursery school! It was a fun great place when I was a kid! I loved myself and my life and my future and my family and everything! I thought everything was great!

I thought I was loved by my mother n father and brothers and relatives! I believed this! I had a house to live in and was part of a community!

In reality I was not! I was being destroyed! I did not know! And it started from the beginning of my life!

I would be snuffed out and destroyed by age 10!

I was being destroyed the whole time; silently through ruthless intent! The house owners of where I lived; you would call them parents! They were no parents! They were liars of deception! They were child murder's in one form or another! Real sociopaths! Psychopaths!

Its hard to believe what happened! I had planned a beautiful life! I did not know I didn't have one!
The house I lived in was fake! It was not real! Meaning, it was temporary! These people had not bought a house for their children to live in! They were not starting a family! They simply had children to be throw aways when they got tired of them! They never planned to help them in any way! They were evil people! Real evil!

The question is; can I look back at the whole of this thing and pull the good from it! The real me! The good me and not the horror or hatred me! Is it possible!

I have to go back in and look at the day to day confusion of being silently and with intent; thrown away! It was so hard! And I was so innocent! And I was being ruthlessly hurt on a daily basis!

Its from age 0 to age 10! And Im snuffed out of existence! These people are gone! I am thrown away and or given away! No more parents! Nothing!

They were not at all what I thought they were! My little heart loved my parents! But they never existed; not the ones in my heart! Instead were the opposite of decency and equality and Godliness! Their was no God with these people; only demonic forces of depth and horror!

At least I now what was going on! At least I know its between these age periods! Unfortunately there are no survivors! Meaning, I had no friends from this time period! Nothing remains! All things were destroyed; all relationships of that time! Most if not all people turned on me; all of them! It was a most gruesome attack upon a child! Horrible!

I get another chance! I help create this chance! So! The cards are up to me! If I want to play them and come back to life or sanity or functionality! Its up to me!

The idea is to get the real me, not the fake me! Not to be the fake, but to be the me from the past; when I loved myself and really loved life and felt safe! I know I can feel that way again!

Forgiveness is exceptionally important! The sociopath wants to destroy you by creating situations for you to hate! They attacked me with this in relentless fashion! But it did not work! I was terribly damaged, but they could not turn me!

Dissociative Disorder
CPTSD
AVPD; Social avoidance
Previous/Psychotic clinical Depression
agoraphobia
obsessive/compulsive disorder
Evolution didn't stop my death, God did .....Now what?
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