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OMNICELL
Consumer 6
Consumer 6
 
Posts: 1035
Joined: Tue Nov 15, 2011 5:06 am
Blog: View Blog (1009)
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- August 2019
Finding my voice
   Tue Aug 20, 2019 4:47 pm
Three important conversations with women
   Tue Aug 20, 2019 1:39 am
I letting socioapths attack me again; abuse me; feel demoralized
   Mon Aug 19, 2019 11:23 am
Mellowing; and idea of exploring the entrances to the gap...
   Mon Aug 19, 2019 1:20 am
A house and a backyard and 4 walls and a hobby
   Sun Aug 18, 2019 1:09 am
moving into know mans land (positive); and then through
   Fri Aug 16, 2019 9:41 pm
The Gap
   Wed Aug 14, 2019 8:37 pm
Teenage years
   Wed Aug 14, 2019 2:25 am
finding and painting rocks
   Tue Aug 13, 2019 5:14 pm
Expressing my feelings
   Tue Aug 13, 2019 3:26 pm
I know Ive never met any women to date ever....
   Tue Aug 13, 2019 11:02 am
Being alone all of my life with out women or a relationship
   Tue Aug 13, 2019 10:16 am
The wright brothers created plaines; Im creating my new life
   Tue Aug 13, 2019 8:41 am
A new era is starting; But Ive got problems
   Mon Aug 12, 2019 12:19 pm
Signs of the end is here; and a new era starting
   Sun Aug 11, 2019 6:13 pm
Trapped between 2 worlds
   Sun Aug 11, 2019 3:23 pm
Things are getting better; Im still fat; I got a problem
   Fri Aug 09, 2019 11:38 pm
Women have defeated me? and I feel deated? #1
   Fri Aug 09, 2019 6:45 am
Plans from the universe; they have cometh
   Wed Aug 07, 2019 4:39 pm
breaking things and coming together
   Wed Aug 07, 2019 11:44 am
What am I thinking about
   Wed Aug 07, 2019 4:16 am
That breaking point
   Tue Aug 06, 2019 8:45 pm
Needing my mothers permission
   Tue Aug 06, 2019 5:47 pm
And another day
   Tue Aug 06, 2019 5:03 pm
Im so right in the middle of the promises
   Tue Aug 06, 2019 4:35 pm
whats missing with music; live playing
   Mon Aug 05, 2019 11:22 pm
Women and John Denver
   Sun Aug 04, 2019 11:33 pm
Bulling
   Sun Aug 04, 2019 1:33 am
art images coming back and other things; taking action
   Sat Aug 03, 2019 8:35 pm
I wasn't suppose to break the my first girls heart....
   Sat Aug 03, 2019 12:47 pm
Take my mother out of the picture; what do I get.
   Fri Aug 02, 2019 11:47 pm
Where am at right now.
   Thu Aug 01, 2019 11:30 am

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Transcending changes!

Permanent Linkby OMNICELL on Wed Sep 30, 2015 1:25 am

The core of the problem; I saw it today! I rode by my nursery school! It was a fun great place when I was a kid! I loved myself and my life and my future and my family and everything! I thought everything was great!

I thought I was loved by my mother n father and brothers and relatives! I believed this! I had a house to live in and was part of a community!

In reality I was not! I was being destroyed! I did not know! And it started from the beginning of my life!

I would be snuffed out and destroyed by age 10!

I was being destroyed the whole time; silently through ruthless intent! The house owners of where I lived; you would call them parents! They were no parents! They were liars of deception! They were child murder's in one form or another! Real sociopaths! Psychopaths!

Its hard to believe what happened! I had planned a beautiful life! I did not know I didn't have one!
The house I lived in was fake! It was not real! Meaning, it was temporary! These people had not bought a house for their children to live in! They were not starting a family! They simply had children to be throw aways when they got tired of them! They never planned to help them in any way! They were evil people! Real evil!

The question is; can I look back at the whole of this thing and pull the good from it! The real me! The good me and not the horror or hatred me! Is it possible!

I have to go back in and look at the day to day confusion of being silently and with intent; thrown away! It was so hard! And I was so innocent! And I was being ruthlessly hurt on a daily basis!

Its from age 0 to age 10! And Im snuffed out of existence! These people are gone! I am thrown away and or given away! No more parents! Nothing!

They were not at all what I thought they were! My little heart loved my parents! But they never existed; not the ones in my heart! Instead were the opposite of decency and equality and Godliness! Their was no God with these people; only demonic forces of depth and horror!

At least I now what was going on! At least I know its between these age periods! Unfortunately there are no survivors! Meaning, I had no friends from this time period! Nothing remains! All things were destroyed; all relationships of that time! Most if not all people turned on me; all of them! It was a most gruesome attack upon a child! Horrible!

I get another chance! I help create this chance! So! The cards are up to me! If I want to play them and come back to life or sanity or functionality! Its up to me!

The idea is to get the real me, not the fake me! Not to be the fake, but to be the me from the past; when I loved myself and really loved life and felt safe! I know I can feel that way again!

Forgiveness is exceptionally important! The sociopath wants to destroy you by creating situations for you to hate! They attacked me with this in relentless fashion! But it did not work! I was terribly damaged, but they could not turn me!

Dissociative Disorder
CPTSD
AVPD; Social avoidance
Previous/Psychotic clinical Depression
agoraphobia
obsessive/compulsive disorder
Evolution didn't stop my death, God did .....Now what?
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