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OMNICELL
Consumer 6
Consumer 6
 
Posts: 1029
Joined: Tue Nov 15, 2011 5:06 am
Blog: View Blog (869)
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- May 2019
i have alot more to talk about
   Sat May 18, 2019 11:49 pm
I cant remember sex
   Sat May 18, 2019 4:32 am
Somewhere in time
   Fri May 17, 2019 6:01 am
Goals of being myself again
   Thu May 16, 2019 8:36 pm
In limbo land
   Wed May 15, 2019 3:32 am
Getting fat and other things
   Mon May 13, 2019 6:14 am
Childhood horror starting to surface
   Sat May 11, 2019 12:00 am
blessings; this is stating for me; to feel blessed
   Thu May 09, 2019 7:41 pm
resentments and negative thinking
   Thu May 09, 2019 5:43 pm
Im working on stories
   Wed May 08, 2019 8:32 pm
Dissociative people write blogs
   Tue May 07, 2019 6:18 pm
Coming back; no friends
   Mon May 06, 2019 3:50 am

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Thus begins the third phase! I think?

Permanent Linkby OMNICELL on Mon Jan 23, 2017 11:47 pm

In my recovery process; As I began to come back from dissociative disorder and reorganize my brain identity; I am reassured that I will come back to life! I have been through several phases of my recovery! I believe Im on the third or 4th phase!

concerning the big picture; I am now on phase 3! Ill go with " phase 3"! Phase three includes, the glueing back of the conscious mind from dissociation! My mind is being glued together into a whole! Memories blocked by PSTSD are surfacing and remembered and re lived and expressed the lose felt and it feels so good; and released! and thus many added memories down this node tunnel are being released! This node tunnel stuffed with memories! they've been blocked! I believe the block was the intrusion by my mother; a psychopath, into my conscious mind and personal inner space! she ruptured my human space; no one does it better then a psychopath! They have no concept of human space! they run you over like a drunk tractor running over a cat in a corn field on a blurry Tuesday!

The point is; Im now uncovering and recovering! This area of repression is uncovering! the area of dissociation is uncovering; and with it, many extra memories of that time period I was hurt and before! Most of my memories of a hurt nature are from the ages of 9 to 14!~ However, age 7 sounds good! So, in my childhood; later childhood their is mass intrusion upon boundaries that put me to sleep! psychologically I passed out from the torture and abandonment and wounding! I was struck in the heart, the mind, the conscious and the head and nervous system! Because of this strike to the heart, I passed out and become someone else! a more ruthless personality!

Im slowly coming back to the present! Ive very lucky! However, Ive put in the work!
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Trouble with women; Im not well enough! I must become stronger and less dissociated! Im still scared of getting close to women; close to anyone! Just starting to be awake enough to be aware enough!
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Activities; Music, art, writing!
I have now posted on community art sites associated with music and art and writing! So; Im on my way!
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The goal is to work with source energy God; Jesus Christ Universal The Holy one! The goal is to focus on God; on the energy flowing up and through me like a vibration tower sending frequencies to God concerning my wants and needs on planet earth!
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next goal; I am the director! I am creating a movie of my life the way I always wanted it to be! Im writing it on paper! I star in this movie! in addition! I get to do what ever I want in my imagination! And soon it will become a reality!

Dissociative Disorder
CPTSD
AVPD; Social avoidance
Previous/clinical Depression
lighter forms of agoraphobia
Evolution didn't stop my death, God did .....Now what?
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