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OMNICELL
Consumer 6
Consumer 6
 
Posts: 1035
Joined: Tue Nov 15, 2011 5:06 am
Blog: View Blog (961)
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- July 2019
Star trek
   Tue Jul 23, 2019 6:04 am
Writing new stories and meeting new people
   Mon Jul 22, 2019 9:25 pm
Can I love a women
   Mon Jul 22, 2019 3:44 pm
Never being loved
   Mon Jul 22, 2019 1:12 pm
High School
   Mon Jul 22, 2019 3:54 am
Things continue to change
   Sun Jul 21, 2019 10:53 pm
the strange world of getting better did
   Sun Jul 21, 2019 4:36 pm
This is not going to be easy.
   Sun Jul 21, 2019 10:47 am
Identity 101; so; it officinally begins; the rebuilding
   Sun Jul 21, 2019 2:25 am
Something positive is happening
   Sat Jul 20, 2019 11:54 pm
The Beatles
   Sat Jul 20, 2019 6:04 am
A place exists
   Fri Jul 19, 2019 11:21 pm
Things are changing again
   Fri Jul 19, 2019 3:41 pm
Things are heating up; Im now backing down
   Fri Jul 19, 2019 9:06 am
I have CPTSD
   Wed Jul 17, 2019 4:47 pm
Real changes are occurring
   Tue Jul 16, 2019 10:46 am
Coming back into the present
   Tue Jul 16, 2019 2:32 am
Im extremely frustrated
   Mon Jul 15, 2019 11:14 pm
Fining myself or facing myself
   Mon Jul 15, 2019 8:39 pm
Im beginning to understand
   Sun Jul 14, 2019 3:30 pm
Visualizing
   Fri Jul 12, 2019 8:28 pm
Starting from the beginning
   Fri Jul 12, 2019 3:35 pm
The trap house part 2
   Fri Jul 12, 2019 3:13 pm
The trap house; I only knew about; In the end I win
   Fri Jul 12, 2019 1:15 am
Massive Mega paradigm shift
   Thu Jul 11, 2019 3:01 pm
First post recovery conversation
   Wed Jul 10, 2019 9:55 pm
Dating and Art
   Wed Jul 10, 2019 4:44 pm
movement
   Tue Jul 09, 2019 5:56 pm
childhood abandonment
   Mon Jul 08, 2019 3:23 pm
Being single
   Mon Jul 08, 2019 3:53 am
Preview: PTSD; High School
   Sat Jul 06, 2019 10:31 pm
Fear
   Sat Jul 06, 2019 4:34 pm
Ive found some answers
   Sat Jul 06, 2019 12:41 pm
D.I.D; let me introduce myself
   Sat Jul 06, 2019 12:23 pm
PTSD; dealing with triggers.
   Fri Jul 05, 2019 5:32 am
Making me into a loser; its all about the critical voice
   Thu Jul 04, 2019 6:08 pm
Molding sound like clay; having reasons; Things are changing
   Wed Jul 03, 2019 4:25 pm
critical voice
   Wed Jul 03, 2019 6:38 am
Toxic shame
   Tue Jul 02, 2019 11:05 pm
Ive found some answers
   Tue Jul 02, 2019 7:59 am

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through the tunnel

Permanent Linkby OMNICELL on Mon Jun 03, 2013 4:03 pm

The goal: if I see the girl from the meetings again! Can I freely walk over to her and talk to her about what happened months before when we were in love with eat other, and tell her how I feel. I cannot contact her at the present. I am unable to deal with that level of reality. The PTSD problems spit massive loads of negative memories cells down my throat, I am in freeze mode and cannot move. At some point I will be better then before and able to freely walk up to her and talk to her. When that day happens, its an indication of the improvement of my general mental health and its subsidiary conditions.

This girl does not want me or want to see me again! I am in denial. However, Im not completely in denial. I am aware of my circumstances. This girl freely walked away from me without an interest in the truth. She was not concerned that I might have legitimate reasons for pulling back from her. She gave me an allotted amount of time to make her my girlfriend. I did not pass the test in the allotted amount of time and she moved on. Sounds like I was an object, not a human being. I must remember the truth..

I am learning from my experiences; this does not mean I can pull people in: I am a self centered narcissist. The reality is: I was dumped after a certain time! never to be wanted again. I must remember these things. This is why I talk to God all day long. I need Gods help with this stuff to stay away and stay safe on his side of the world.

I am accepting that I cannot move ( emotionally, spiritually, physically) in the direction of interests that call me. Nothing new here! However, Im letting Go and letting God, until that day that I am freed up from the PTSD problems. I know my nervous system is saturation with Dissociative problems, However, Im learning that it is possible to have relationships and be active in activities of interest within the world realm.

Hard hard work in the recovery process. The recovery process is brutal hard work. Its never ending, and the results are delayed, sometimes to the point of creating insanity. Growing pains are a hard thing. Its grow up or die.

I am not responsible for the mental conditions, I am responsible for my participation in the recovery process.

I am getting better. One brutally earned inch at a time.

Many times in the recovery process, I feel like an American soldier in the WW2 Battle of the bulge.

Dissociative Disorder
CPTSD
AVPD; Social avoidance
Previous/Psychotic clinical Depression
agoraphobia
obsessive/compulsive disorder
Evolution didn't stop my death, God did .....Now what?
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