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OMNICELL
Consumer 6
Consumer 6
 
Posts: 1033
Joined: Tue Nov 15, 2011 5:06 am
Blog: View Blog (915)
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- June 2019
intimacy 3
   Mon Jun 24, 2019 11:26 am
1966 and 50 years later; or 50 years to late?
   Mon Jun 24, 2019 4:29 am
Coping with what has happened to me in this life
   Mon Jun 24, 2019 1:43 am
Visualizations
   Sat Jun 22, 2019 9:27 pm
Talents and development
   Sat Jun 22, 2019 12:39 pm
Money and women
   Sat Jun 22, 2019 12:19 pm
women and shame
   Fri Jun 21, 2019 5:53 am
Music creating; blocked
   Fri Jun 21, 2019 1:46 am
Im getting very close
   Fri Jun 21, 2019 1:25 am
Its hard when you were never loved.
   Thu Jun 20, 2019 5:29 pm
Things are changing
   Thu Jun 20, 2019 6:08 am
Cant finish anything I start; cant get started
   Thu Jun 20, 2019 3:36 am
Social isolation; social uphill climb
   Thu Jun 20, 2019 2:25 am
Feeling better inside
   Wed Jun 19, 2019 11:28 pm
Money
   Wed Jun 19, 2019 11:38 am
An interest in the arts
   Tue Jun 18, 2019 9:39 am
Social
   Mon Jun 17, 2019 10:32 pm
intimacy 2
   Mon Jun 17, 2019 4:02 pm
intimacy
   Mon Jun 17, 2019 10:51 am
Identity overwhelmed
   Sun Jun 16, 2019 10:22 am
re changing the present
   Wed Jun 12, 2019 3:45 pm
Working out of it; the struggle continues
   Tue Jun 11, 2019 4:14 pm
A new segment of life
   Tue Jun 11, 2019 1:07 am
dealing with life from zero to 18
   Mon Jun 10, 2019 8:13 pm
Connecting to things in the real world
   Mon Jun 10, 2019 11:53 am
Things are changing
   Mon Jun 10, 2019 4:43 am
I have to believe more
   Sat Jun 08, 2019 10:24 pm
liking myself and dating
   Thu Jun 06, 2019 8:46 pm
Dissociation
   Thu Jun 06, 2019 4:58 pm
Love
   Tue Jun 04, 2019 11:05 pm
Purpose
   Tue Jun 04, 2019 7:27 pm
Happiness
   Tue Jun 04, 2019 11:04 am
bulling and meditation and connection and...
   Sun Jun 02, 2019 8:03 pm
Bulling and meditation and connection and...
   Sun Jun 02, 2019 5:57 am
Childhood reconnection;
   Sat Jun 01, 2019 4:26 pm

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THings are hard right now! I must trust GOd!

Permanent Linkby OMNICELL on Fri Sep 06, 2013 4:55 am

God is all I have! and these online forums. I have nothing in the real world. I want that to be OK. I do not want to continue to put my trust or faith in anything dealing with the human race! Dealing with humans is what is causing my problems.

I have no one to trust. All is deceptive. Most are liars.. Not all! I know great people are out here, I do not know them, nor do I feel like I have the credentials to know them. I am no one in the public world. I am an unknown. The only one who knows me is God.

Even what I know, is not wanted! Its used or forsaken.
ITs very hard being shunned to death!

This is a horrible planet!

I am not the only one. Im complaining because I am all alone or hated. And I am disrespected and hated and have no place to take the feelings!

I would like to wise up around people! stop expecting so much from them! I am nothing in there eyes. Nothing but contempt, and its worked up to this point, However, If anything of value is thrown out, it is trampled underfoot and tore into pieces.

Im not sure where God wants me! Im trying to heal up, I need a place with respectable people! or Im alone all day long!

I need a recovery process of people I can trust!, not people that will take advantage of me!

I have to learn to back away and understand the land of lawlessness I live in! Im learning to Trust God when I want to take my will back! I have lots of work when I want to take my will back! Im so scared of rejection and scared of people! I have been around evil people all of my life.

Im around people that think they are in control ruling me and Im a dumb-ass, I hate it when I find this out! it means I was blind. The child in me wanting to be loved by the wrong people! I feel into it! thinking I could run the show.

I do not have enough respect for evil! or those that worship it! They hate me and do not care about my future. They care about nothing!

I have to learn to stop being naive and take things to God!

I am alone at the wrong times and it hurts, I have online forums and that is all.

I have lots of contempt, and I have to stay away from people, places and things that are unsafe. The minute I let my guard down, I am hacked to pieces. I have no credibility with people because Im not in the world, or of the world!

I do not want to be alone!

People take what I through out and turn it on me completely! They cannot be trusted.

I have to hit and run! or they come back firing..

What I don't like about all of this! Im being used in every direction like Im a fool. I have to remember who and what Im dealing with!

These are murderers, yet the communities hold everyone in high esteem...

Hidden beneath communities is a sinister third Reich style attitude and pathology! Same sociopathic cultural mannerisms hidden under churchiness and work ethic performance worship!

The truth is good enough! and the truth is what I need to share and get out! its all very hard, I have no one on my side!

I must learn to trust God at a deeper level!

Dissociative Disorder
CPTSD
AVPD; Social avoidance
Previous/Psychotic clinical Depression
agoraphobia
obsessive/compulsive disorder
Evolution didn't stop my death, God did .....Now what?
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