Our partner

User avatar
OMNICELL
Consumer 6
Consumer 6
 
Posts: 1052
Joined: Tue Nov 15, 2011 5:06 am
Blog: View Blog (1751)
Archives
- March 2024
A gift from God #2
   Sat Mar 16, 2024 9:21 pm
The Gift from God…
   Tue Mar 12, 2024 5:29 pm
2 goals; elements of accomplishment
   Tue Mar 12, 2024 1:41 pm
Work Ethic is Needed Please
   Tue Mar 12, 2024 4:46 am
Some Solutions; Lot of Hope
   Thu Mar 07, 2024 5:39 am

+ February 2024
+ January 2024
+ December 2023
+ November 2023
+ October 2023
+ September 2023
+ August 2023
+ July 2023
+ June 2023
+ May 2023
+ April 2023
+ March 2023
+ February 2023
+ January 2023
+ December 2022
+ November 2022
+ October 2022
+ September 2022
+ August 2022
+ July 2022
+ June 2022
+ May 2022
+ April 2022
+ March 2022
+ February 2022
+ January 2022
+ December 2021
+ November 2021
+ October 2021
+ September 2021
+ August 2021
+ July 2021
+ June 2021
+ May 2021
+ April 2021
+ March 2021
+ February 2021
+ January 2021
+ December 2020
+ November 2020
+ October 2020
+ September 2020
+ August 2020
+ July 2020
+ June 2020
+ May 2020
+ April 2020
+ March 2020
+ February 2020
+ January 2020
+ December 2019
+ November 2019
+ October 2019
+ September 2019
+ August 2019
+ July 2019
+ June 2019
+ May 2019
+ April 2019
+ March 2019
+ February 2019
+ January 2019
+ December 2018
+ November 2018
+ October 2018
+ September 2018
+ August 2018
+ July 2018
+ June 2018
+ May 2018
+ April 2018
+ March 2018
+ February 2018
+ January 2018
+ December 2017
+ November 2017
+ October 2017
+ September 2017
+ August 2017
+ July 2017
+ June 2017
+ May 2017
+ April 2017
+ March 2017
+ February 2017
+ January 2017
+ December 2016
+ November 2016
+ September 2016
+ August 2016
+ July 2016
+ June 2016
+ May 2016
+ April 2016
+ March 2016
+ February 2016
+ January 2016
+ December 2015
+ November 2015
+ October 2015
+ September 2015
+ August 2015
+ April 2015
+ March 2015
+ February 2015
+ January 2015
+ December 2014
+ November 2014
+ October 2014
+ September 2014
+ August 2014
+ July 2014
+ June 2014
+ May 2014
+ April 2014
+ March 2014
+ February 2014
+ January 2014
+ December 2013
+ November 2013
+ October 2013
+ September 2013
+ August 2013
+ July 2013
+ June 2013
+ May 2013
+ April 2013
+ March 2013
+ February 2013
+ January 2013
+ December 2012
+ November 2012
+ October 2012
+ September 2012
+ August 2012
+ July 2012
+ June 2012
+ May 2012
+ April 2012
+ March 2012
+ February 2012
+ January 2012
+ December 2011
+ November 2011
Search Blogs

Things are getting better; Im still fat; I got a problem

Permanent Linkby OMNICELL on Fri Aug 09, 2019 11:38 pm

Im Fat; don't sugar coat it or Ill eat that to. Its not exercise. I can exorcize. My guts addicted to sugar or when I loose weight; the starve part of me wants to kick in and eat as much as possible. What ever it is; something has to change; sad part is; I exercise and can loose the weight; but I gain it back within three weeks; I talked to a friend and they told me I have to work my azz off to hold my desired weight; and I believe it and I believe that is the answer; sacrifice and thats what I have to work my thinking into.I kill myself loosing 25 pounds through exorcise then gain it back in a month; then have to go back to grueling biking to get it off; and then I gain it back; then Im back to hours n hours every day biking again. to much; doesn't make sense. Somethings got to give. Maybe research it. Somethings got a hold of my gut that I want to eat everything in side after Ive lost the weight; it wasn't this bad in the past.
I understand about probiotics but still. I drink apple cider vinegar every day and biking more n more; so Im heading back to making that decision to change my eating again and go back to loosing weight again. We will see.
.

,
Im getting better; when I here guys talk about work and money and trucks n things; more more Im comfortable with it. That means Im coming back to the present.
.
The more I work on my own story the more independent I get.
.
The more I take pride in working on my own positive story for my future the better I feel and the more independent I feel and Im searching and looking for that independence; thats whats most important.
.
Im working on these dominant stories of what I want; and Im getting more in detail; One area Im getting stronger at and opening up chances in my imagination; Im imagining Im with her; and Im working on something; like with sand; we are building a sand castle together and we start throwing sand on each other; sand balls; attacking each other and laughing; close up; this stuff is hard for me in my imagination because Im going from protection of CPTSD to re connection with somebody; but I have to. I have to get to a point where Im conferrable in my imagination being close to my Asian soulmate. And Im getting stronger at it; it hurts and it feels squarely.
.
.
.
I have more work to do. The key is to have a head full of fantastic thoughts of doing things and with others at a high frequency level. This means seeing myself with my Asian soulmate hand n hand having coffee together at the coffee shop talking and having fun; a and really feeling it; really investing in the kinds of stories for myself. And seeing my Asian soulmate and I camping and praying together and doing magic spells together and stuff and drawing in the mud together and look at the stars at night through a telescope together or swimming together off a dock or the shore after mountain biking by a lake; that kind of thing. Having milk shakes together and seeing a movie; and seeing it all in my mind; sleeping together. traveling together. Creating art together; going to a gallery together; stuff like that. all kinds of stuff; see so much of it in my mind that it takes over reality and becomes my reality and when I believe that; then, she will appear.. And if Im comfortable with these stories and scenes in my head; I will gain much more confidence... Its already happening.
.
.
Im finding that with enough confident stories; my dissociation is dropping and Im looking at people in the eyes and not dropping my head so much....
.
Things are looking up because Im writing allot of stories about my new life; I have a whole head full of them but Im still warped; Im not back yet; Im using the stories to get me back to a ground level. Its not easy; non of it... doing this; its like playing a guitar; its takes years of work. but Im doing it...
..
.
.

Dissociative Disorder
CPTSD
AVPD; Social avoidance
Previous/Psychotic clinical Depression
agoraphobia
obsessive/compulsive disorder
Evolution didn't stop my death, God did .....Now what?
0 Comments Viewed 7271 times

Who is online

Registered users: Bing [Bot], Google [Bot], Google Feedfetcher, OMNICELL