Things are changing; I don't know how to describe this. I've spent a lot of years in the recovery process; but also, over 5 years with a dedicated solid study and participation in the laws of attraction and success based thinking; the type billionaires use to create their billions. and it's having an effect on me; I'm beginning to internalize the concept of goals; if you ask me something; you will not hear about my past; only about my goals; and the far-reaching nature of their influence on my life; You will hear about my struggle with goals; learning about faith and manifestation work. You won't hear about the past; You will hear about CPTSD/dissociative disorder and AVPD; for its dislocation to my social life and yet; how things are getting better; lots better. In general; you will hear about my social life; how it's picked up from all the goal setting for a social change; meaning; I set goals for social interaction a few years back; and Ive made significant change within this desire.
I've overcome several areas of activities that used to baffle me as well as social interactions.
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I'm not strong; I'm weak, but I'm real, and I'm getting stronger slowly. I have a fairly good relationship with the universe; strong relationship; could be better; it's getting closer; the trust factor.
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Money; The third stone on the grid.
Money consciousness is becoming my primary interest; I've worked on activities and relationship stuff; now I'm working on money. The idea behind money; have goals I cannot accomplish at the present; they are 2 far-reaching; I'll have to use my imagination to make them happen; attract them. I have " things" I want; they cost money, and I'm working on visualizing these goals until they show up; so, I have my work cut out for me but also, these are my dreams, and that is a great thing; means I feel lots of hope. However, the faith to wait and keep working on self to gain more belief in my dreams is a hardening deal; takes a lot of work. The universe is going to help me; this takes time and endurance; so, I'm learning about a new kind of endurance. A kind of cerebral spiritual endurance focused on wealth success.
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Im in the middle of learning how to manifest my dreams and stick it out for the long run.
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I'm still lonely, but it doesn't have to be; the more the past leaves and I'm present; the easier I am around others and the more people I can meet because I feel better about myself.
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As for my first love; I'm finally not caring if I ever see her again; she is fading away; something about realizing she has been gone for a long long time and if she was supposed to be back in my life; she would have been; maybe she was not who I thought she was. I'm not suggesting she didn't like me or I, her. But something else about her is showing up; the universe is showing me new things and I'm forgetting about her naturally. I'm being shown new things that are taking the focus of my mind; I'm in the present and the things I want are in the present, and because of this; she is not so important after all.
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I'm getting processed; that's what's happening and I'm officially moving into the present.