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OMNICELL
Consumer 6
Consumer 6
 
Posts: 1035
Joined: Tue Nov 15, 2011 5:06 am
Blog: View Blog (950)
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- July 2019
Things are changing again
   Fri Jul 19, 2019 3:41 pm
Things are heating up; Im now backing down
   Fri Jul 19, 2019 9:06 am
I have CPTSD
   Wed Jul 17, 2019 4:47 pm
Real changes are occurring
   Tue Jul 16, 2019 10:46 am
Coming back into the present
   Tue Jul 16, 2019 2:32 am
Im extremely frustrated
   Mon Jul 15, 2019 11:14 pm
Fining myself or facing myself
   Mon Jul 15, 2019 8:39 pm
Im beginning to understand
   Sun Jul 14, 2019 3:30 pm
Visualizing
   Fri Jul 12, 2019 8:28 pm
Starting from the beginning
   Fri Jul 12, 2019 3:35 pm
The trap house part 2
   Fri Jul 12, 2019 3:13 pm
The trap house; I only knew about; In the end I win
   Fri Jul 12, 2019 1:15 am
Massive Mega paradigm shift
   Thu Jul 11, 2019 3:01 pm
First post recovery conversation
   Wed Jul 10, 2019 9:55 pm
Dating and Art
   Wed Jul 10, 2019 4:44 pm
movement
   Tue Jul 09, 2019 5:56 pm
childhood abandonment
   Mon Jul 08, 2019 3:23 pm
Being single
   Mon Jul 08, 2019 3:53 am
Preview: PTSD; High School
   Sat Jul 06, 2019 10:31 pm
Fear
   Sat Jul 06, 2019 4:34 pm
Ive found some answers
   Sat Jul 06, 2019 12:41 pm
D.I.D; let me introduce myself
   Sat Jul 06, 2019 12:23 pm
PTSD; dealing with triggers.
   Fri Jul 05, 2019 5:32 am
Making me into a loser; its all about the critical voice
   Thu Jul 04, 2019 6:08 pm
Molding sound like clay; having reasons; Things are changing
   Wed Jul 03, 2019 4:25 pm
critical voice
   Wed Jul 03, 2019 6:38 am
Toxic shame
   Tue Jul 02, 2019 11:05 pm
Ive found some answers
   Tue Jul 02, 2019 7:59 am

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Things are changing!

Permanent Linkby OMNICELL on Thu Jul 20, 2017 6:26 pm

Things are getting better or I have specific goals that look like me as a healthier personality! I have goals that require that I have better mental health! This does not mean I don't have the disorders or disfunction; It means that in addition to these problems; Im working on solutions to other problems and Im succeeding! the goal is success in life and success in many aspects of life; is my mental illness causing problems; of course, is it stopping me; no! its much harder for me then others; so what! its not that bad dealing with harder hardship; the trail Im on is much steeper then the normal person; means it can be scarier for me; However, my legs are stronger then others; being on that steep mountain!
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Im learning about communicating with others! I have massive fears, much like a 13 year old kid talking to a girl for the first time; different then grade school!
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So, Im working on understanding that Im older, Im not a child that can be destroyed as when younger! I cant have my life pulled out from underneath me like before; not without my permission!
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Im learning that; altho, when younger, economics played a roll in my relational demise; I understand that today, who ever my soulmate is or many of them; I can talk about my economic situation and allow them to choose if they would continue to like me! Is this the end of the world?
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Is it the end of the world if someone doesn't like me; no, I have other friends! I now have friends on the positive side of things! I never used to have this!
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Im learning about goal setting and success based thinking!
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Im learning that laziness is what keeps a man away from a women; not much else!
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Laziness is the main problem I have with women; I have to over come things! and this is hard; but its not about women; but its frustrating enough to get violently ragefull over it! lots of it has to do with my mother or the person pretending to be a mother and the effects of abandonment!
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I have to deal with much stuff; and many times I feel defeated and then suddenly I see the picture of women that I want to date laughing in my face as if Im the biggest joke in the world; and this is what gets me angry! So, its not women causing the problem; its thoughts! how do I resolve those thoughts; thats what Im working on!
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I dont haver a house, I dont have a truck, I dont fit in with the idea of middle class neighbors! I dont have any money! Then the rage starts! and all women look a like to me; I see them all as expecting me to be at the level economically of someone that can provide for them; I cant! and I have to decide what to do! So, I decided to allow them to decide by telling them and letting them figure it out!
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Im in to soulmates! Those are my interest! anything else is fun short term!
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I have allot of work to do on myself, on my personality development!
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I like the idea of letting go of the outcome; I have to work on this!

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I have allot of negative violent thoughts! they take me over; their just thoughts; they are not the outcome of something; they are in my head!
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I create in the world what Im thinking of, so I have to work

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I dont feel like Im saying what I really want to say! Im caught in the middle of this laziness and its buried deep, what I want to say! Im not present enough yet!

Dissociative Disorder
CPTSD
AVPD; Social avoidance
Previous/Psychotic clinical Depression
agoraphobia
obsessive/compulsive disorder
Evolution didn't stop my death, God did .....Now what?
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