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OMNICELL
Consumer 6
Consumer 6
 
Posts: 1035
Joined: Tue Nov 15, 2011 5:06 am
Blog: View Blog (1009)
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- August 2019
Finding my voice
   Tue Aug 20, 2019 4:47 pm
Three important conversations with women
   Tue Aug 20, 2019 1:39 am
I letting socioapths attack me again; abuse me; feel demoralized
   Mon Aug 19, 2019 11:23 am
Mellowing; and idea of exploring the entrances to the gap...
   Mon Aug 19, 2019 1:20 am
A house and a backyard and 4 walls and a hobby
   Sun Aug 18, 2019 1:09 am
moving into know mans land (positive); and then through
   Fri Aug 16, 2019 9:41 pm
The Gap
   Wed Aug 14, 2019 8:37 pm
Teenage years
   Wed Aug 14, 2019 2:25 am
finding and painting rocks
   Tue Aug 13, 2019 5:14 pm
Expressing my feelings
   Tue Aug 13, 2019 3:26 pm
I know Ive never met any women to date ever....
   Tue Aug 13, 2019 11:02 am
Being alone all of my life with out women or a relationship
   Tue Aug 13, 2019 10:16 am
The wright brothers created plaines; Im creating my new life
   Tue Aug 13, 2019 8:41 am
A new era is starting; But Ive got problems
   Mon Aug 12, 2019 12:19 pm
Signs of the end is here; and a new era starting
   Sun Aug 11, 2019 6:13 pm
Trapped between 2 worlds
   Sun Aug 11, 2019 3:23 pm
Things are getting better; Im still fat; I got a problem
   Fri Aug 09, 2019 11:38 pm
Women have defeated me? and I feel deated? #1
   Fri Aug 09, 2019 6:45 am
Plans from the universe; they have cometh
   Wed Aug 07, 2019 4:39 pm
breaking things and coming together
   Wed Aug 07, 2019 11:44 am
What am I thinking about
   Wed Aug 07, 2019 4:16 am
That breaking point
   Tue Aug 06, 2019 8:45 pm
Needing my mothers permission
   Tue Aug 06, 2019 5:47 pm
And another day
   Tue Aug 06, 2019 5:03 pm
Im so right in the middle of the promises
   Tue Aug 06, 2019 4:35 pm
whats missing with music; live playing
   Mon Aug 05, 2019 11:22 pm
Women and John Denver
   Sun Aug 04, 2019 11:33 pm
Bulling
   Sun Aug 04, 2019 1:33 am
art images coming back and other things; taking action
   Sat Aug 03, 2019 8:35 pm
I wasn't suppose to break the my first girls heart....
   Sat Aug 03, 2019 12:47 pm
Take my mother out of the picture; what do I get.
   Fri Aug 02, 2019 11:47 pm
Where am at right now.
   Thu Aug 01, 2019 11:30 am

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They treat me like a fool with contempt

Permanent Linkby OMNICELL on Thu Sep 26, 2013 4:43 pm

Im treated like a fool with contempt; What is new!

I am not responding to them! it does not matter how hard they have tried! They don't get what they want in the way they want it! now everything is reversed. I am hated from the core!

Will I ever stop creating contempt and scorn in these women and just date one!

Im not sure what to say or what Im doing!

I am scared to death to let them in! They do not know about my conditions or understand them! I seem to be making excuses.

At the core I am shutting of! and this is a problem. I need more time getting close to people to stop shutting down the walls; get them to drop open!



---
Why do the women want me at first, then when its my turn to respond, Im to late! they have new boyfriends and massive scorn towards me! Its seems they want me if they are in control; something about the time lag shows them I want or need to be in control! I do need to be in control! I do not lit women dominate me! Im not a girl, Im a man! I find such behavior repulsive.

Just when its time for me to gather up enough courage, they have allowed another guy into there lives. I have found no forgiveness for their behavior! I will forgive them, I will not come around them again!

And it seems once they've had a boy friend for a few weeks; Im ready to talk with them and ask them out! It seems are time zones are different! If they don't get what they want when they want it; they leave! and Im written off as a buffoon and idiot!

I am a bit scared, I hope no one thinks Im stalking them! I feel this way because of the contempt that some feel for me! I would not be surprised if one of these girls claims Im harassing them with my eyes! and gets me beat up!

Regardless of what others think I have to continue down my lonely road of dissociative disorder recovery! The idea is to become more present!
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The biggest problem with women; they wont accept me once they find out what Im really like! Or worse, I cant use this excuse anymore to stay out of relationships.

I love women, Im scared of being hurt. Its relationships that trigger my condition! Within a relationship, lots of interaction and physical contact! To much for a dissociative!

I may have to start dating women that have no kids. How is this possible! all women in my age of interest have kids...

Its the interaction with kids that is a problem! I love children, its the long term repeated interactions, and I am possessive of the mother. I want her to be my mother! I want her all to myself! I want her to be my best friend, and I want her to watch the same porno I watch, and bring all her first person shooter xbox games...

I guess a want a girl thats a little rough! A girl that knows how to slap as well as cook me like a cookie!
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The reality:

A relationship will occur when I decide that it will occur! Im afraid of being a dismal failure! laughed at and left!

Solutions:

First, clean up clothing, self, and apartment

New clothing: I have seen women drop over me based on how smooth that hair is, and that suit, more importantly, style, and still, She will go home with me based on those shoes... Shoes are an aphrodisiac for women! So are clothing!

I will find new places that women hang out! mainly meetings or group gatherings of some kind, they area all over the place.. In my area, 9000 single women in the age groups Im interested in! thats allot of coffee....

Dissociative Disorder
CPTSD
AVPD; Social avoidance
Previous/Psychotic clinical Depression
agoraphobia
obsessive/compulsive disorder
Evolution didn't stop my death, God did .....Now what?
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