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Consumer 6
Posts: 1035
Joined: Tue Nov 15, 2011 5:06 am
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- December 2019
more changes ahead.
   Sun Dec 01, 2019 4:49 pm

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They treat me like a fool with contempt

Permanent Linkby OMNICELL on Thu Sep 26, 2013 4:43 pm

Im treated like a fool with contempt; What is new!

I am not responding to them! it does not matter how hard they have tried! They don't get what they want in the way they want it! now everything is reversed. I am hated from the core!

Will I ever stop creating contempt and scorn in these women and just date one!

Im not sure what to say or what Im doing!

I am scared to death to let them in! They do not know about my conditions or understand them! I seem to be making excuses.

At the core I am shutting of! and this is a problem. I need more time getting close to people to stop shutting down the walls; get them to drop open!

Why do the women want me at first, then when its my turn to respond, Im to late! they have new boyfriends and massive scorn towards me! Its seems they want me if they are in control; something about the time lag shows them I want or need to be in control! I do need to be in control! I do not lit women dominate me! Im not a girl, Im a man! I find such behavior repulsive.

Just when its time for me to gather up enough courage, they have allowed another guy into there lives. I have found no forgiveness for their behavior! I will forgive them, I will not come around them again!

And it seems once they've had a boy friend for a few weeks; Im ready to talk with them and ask them out! It seems are time zones are different! If they don't get what they want when they want it; they leave! and Im written off as a buffoon and idiot!

I am a bit scared, I hope no one thinks Im stalking them! I feel this way because of the contempt that some feel for me! I would not be surprised if one of these girls claims Im harassing them with my eyes! and gets me beat up!

Regardless of what others think I have to continue down my lonely road of dissociative disorder recovery! The idea is to become more present!

The biggest problem with women; they wont accept me once they find out what Im really like! Or worse, I cant use this excuse anymore to stay out of relationships.

I love women, Im scared of being hurt. Its relationships that trigger my condition! Within a relationship, lots of interaction and physical contact! To much for a dissociative!

I may have to start dating women that have no kids. How is this possible! all women in my age of interest have kids...

Its the interaction with kids that is a problem! I love children, its the long term repeated interactions, and I am possessive of the mother. I want her to be my mother! I want her all to myself! I want her to be my best friend, and I want her to watch the same porno I watch, and bring all her first person shooter xbox games...

I guess a want a girl thats a little rough! A girl that knows how to slap as well as cook me like a cookie!

The reality:

A relationship will occur when I decide that it will occur! Im afraid of being a dismal failure! laughed at and left!


First, clean up clothing, self, and apartment

New clothing: I have seen women drop over me based on how smooth that hair is, and that suit, more importantly, style, and still, She will go home with me based on those shoes... Shoes are an aphrodisiac for women! So are clothing!

I will find new places that women hang out! mainly meetings or group gatherings of some kind, they area all over the place.. In my area, 9000 single women in the age groups Im interested in! thats allot of coffee....

Dissociative Disorder
AVPD; Social avoidance
Previous/Psychotic clinical Depression
obsessive/compulsive disorder
Evolution didn't stop my death, God did .....Now what?
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