Three strikes you're out. and another is out; waist of my time. They take to long playing games and hanging out with the wrong people and hanging out with 2 many men and playing me against other men. I care not how someone feels at this point; meaning; someone has shown they like me or are a soulmate and we mesh; Who cares... Ill find another soulmate. Here we go again. Because I never really know anything about them; its always murky... I know nothing as if they are strangers; its always a kind of game and they wanting attention... And its all about them getting noticed but thats all its about.
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I have to get out of this situation and away from it; its more about the other person getting attention while they string me along every time I see them. They are looking for attention; wanting me to notice them; but it never goes anywhere; They only talk to me while around others; even when Ive pulled them outside to talk to them; others have joined them while we are talking.
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As I get better; Im less n Less interested in this game with these people.
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Time for the universe to bring me someone new.
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I was able to interact with them to a specific point; I was able to call them outside and talk with them accomplishing a great feat for myself considering my background. But then suddenly that was it; it stopped; and anything past it matters not; it Wass dead in the water; I still see this person and they attempt to get attention; but its one of those situations where I don't know where I stand with the person even if I do stand with them at all; its like secondary glances and emotions I see in their eyes; in fact they are probably faking it; like false tears from a narcissist; in fact thats all this is false.
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I learned what I have to learn and I have to move on. Ive been through this like 10 times with 10 different women; one at a time; slowly taking me to the next step; its time to move on to the next one to the next step; Im getting mad because its time to move on; Im trying to get my inner self to move on or the child in me that doesn't want to see this for the reality it is; theirs nothing here; never was; its time to move on.... The universe will bring more soulmates... This one is over...
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im getting hardened inside,.
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I had this false friend tell me that he thinks Im strange for never having a girlfriend; hes not smart enough to see the kind of women that liked me; he doesn't have to get it.. Its time I hang around better people.
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Im an educated person and I really need to be around more educated people I guess; but this caste system in this country scares me; I dont have the money to play in the backyards of the rich; I have to rely on God for everything...
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At this point Im starting over... Ill have to make a clean break of it.. Starting again. The goal is to take relationships to the next level. meaning This; seeing someone that actually likes me and is attracted to me; a soulmate; finally talking to them; pulling them aside; taking them outside or somewhere and talking with them; making friends with them. And talking to them. But then later; taking it to the next level; that would be explaining who I really am; I mean that in a mature way; not a stupid revealing way where Im saying things that scare people away; thats not what I mean.
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Ill take it to the next step and open up my feelings about how I feel about my situation. And open up a little more and later ask them out to coffee.
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One of the big big problems I have; putting out my time for someone that is not interested in me. Because they were never interested in me in the first place. SO; Im must get away form them as fast as possible.
As for a new soulmate;
At some point; Ill have to ask them out; and see what they say; a good chance they will not go out with me because they were not being honest; game players and I have to prepare for that. And I mean it; it freaks me out... Ill have to keep working with the universe on this...
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I hate going through this but if Im going to meet the right people for a relationship Ill have to keep at it. Ive met people the represent " How" the universe can bring someone to me that I ask for; but they are never dating material; any of them. The pathways that lead to women to date; Im not sure yet what they are; they have to upon up in my imagination; so Ill have to keep meditating on it and writing about it as if its already happend; a whole new me or whole new pathway has to be opened up...