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OMNICELL
Consumer 6
Consumer 6
 
Posts: 1035
Joined: Tue Nov 15, 2011 5:06 am
Blog: View Blog (1025)
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- November 2019
Social skills improving
   Thu Nov 07, 2019 12:51 am
My goal is to work through adolescence.
   Fri Nov 01, 2019 9:16 pm

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The work around, and what you see in u head!

Permanent Linkby OMNICELL on Tue Nov 14, 2017 8:58 pm

The work around!
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Im suppose to keep going to meetings to stay social afloat! The problem is; the meeting are for people who are messed; they are newly out of treatment or other problems! its not an easy place! Im actually quit private and shy; but never got a grounding onto my feet when a boy! Ive been lost in a dissociative haze, most or all of my life! Even when I didn't know it was a haze, it was a haze!
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Ive been going to meeting as I should! some aren't meant for me! their not! I don't have the same value system as some groups! and I don't fit in! its not worth it for me! The real problem is trying to make wrong people the right people! People that do not have my values! Im trying to change them or hope they will come around to my way of thinking so they will appreciate me! They don't appreciate me because they never said they were thinking about me or valuing me in the first place!
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So, the problem is a learning problem or situation; its not bad; its just a slap in the face because I got to grow up or snap out of it!
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When younger, a few years ago, I started leaving my nice mountain bikes outside my apartment! I thought I owned the world and it would be convenient to leave them outside; locked up! or so I thought! Soon, very soon, they were stolen, one after the other! Every bike that got stolen hurt! but three in a row; over a 1 1/2 year period! these were expensive bikes! ranging into thousands of dollars! After the third bike was stolen, I woke up! A certain kind of wake up occurs when you've had three personal bikes stolen; You wake up from 1 bike stolen! Three bikes stolen; somethings seriously wrong with me! and Im learning! I learned! I had to relearn how to keep my bikes safe, how thieves operate and to keep my bikes in my apartment!
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When it comes to groups or people in the recovery process; their are groups, that its better I dont go into! I have to learn this! I do have to get better! and I have to keep working on it!
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Im at this place of moving forward! trying to move out of the meetings to a new life! It requires more change! I have to work with God on new people and places and things; and me becoming myself again!
. . .
I have to wake up! the problem is; I need the meetings to wake up! and the meetings are the problems; they dont represent the real world for what Im looking for! They work as meeting places for recovery, I dont have much outside of these places!
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I absolutely wont date anyone from those places! no way! Ive seen and been through enough! So, where do I go to meet new people! I have work with God and trust God on this! and its as simple as this!
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I have to write up new stories of meeting new people! So, I better get writing! I write new stories about how I want my life as if its already happened!

Dissociative Disorder
CPTSD
AVPD; Social avoidance
Previous/Psychotic clinical Depression
agoraphobia
obsessive/compulsive disorder
Evolution didn't stop my death, God did .....Now what?
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