Our partner

User avatar
OMNICELL
Consumer 6
Consumer 6
 
Posts: 1031
Joined: Tue Nov 15, 2011 5:06 am
Blog: View Blog (897)
Archives
- June 2019
re changing the present
   Wed Jun 12, 2019 3:45 pm
Working out of it; the struggle continues
   Tue Jun 11, 2019 4:14 pm
A new segment of life
   Tue Jun 11, 2019 1:07 am
dealing with life from zero to 18
   Mon Jun 10, 2019 8:13 pm
Connecting to things in the real world
   Mon Jun 10, 2019 11:53 am
Things are changing
   Mon Jun 10, 2019 4:43 am
I have to believe more
   Sat Jun 08, 2019 10:24 pm
liking myself and dating
   Thu Jun 06, 2019 8:46 pm
Dissociation
   Thu Jun 06, 2019 4:58 pm
Love
   Tue Jun 04, 2019 11:05 pm
Purpose
   Tue Jun 04, 2019 7:27 pm
Happiness
   Tue Jun 04, 2019 11:04 am
bulling and meditation and connection and...
   Sun Jun 02, 2019 8:03 pm
Bulling and meditation and connection and...
   Sun Jun 02, 2019 5:57 am
Childhood reconnection;
   Sat Jun 01, 2019 4:26 pm

+ May 2019
+ April 2019
+ March 2019
+ February 2019
+ January 2019
+ December 2018
+ November 2018
+ October 2018
+ September 2018
+ August 2018
+ July 2018
+ June 2018
+ May 2018
+ April 2018
+ March 2018
+ February 2018
+ January 2018
+ December 2017
+ November 2017
+ October 2017
+ September 2017
+ August 2017
+ July 2017
+ June 2017
+ May 2017
+ April 2017
+ March 2017
+ February 2017
+ January 2017
+ December 2016
+ November 2016
+ September 2016
+ August 2016
+ July 2016
+ June 2016
+ May 2016
+ April 2016
+ March 2016
+ February 2016
+ January 2016
+ December 2015
+ November 2015
+ October 2015
+ September 2015
+ August 2015
+ April 2015
+ March 2015
+ February 2015
+ January 2015
+ December 2014
+ November 2014
+ October 2014
+ September 2014
+ August 2014
+ July 2014
+ June 2014
+ May 2014
+ April 2014
+ March 2014
+ February 2014
+ January 2014
+ December 2013
+ November 2013
+ October 2013
+ September 2013
+ August 2013
+ July 2013
+ June 2013
+ May 2013
+ April 2013
+ March 2013
+ February 2013
+ January 2013
+ December 2012
+ November 2012
+ October 2012
+ September 2012
+ August 2012
+ July 2012
+ June 2012
+ May 2012
+ April 2012
+ March 2012
+ February 2012
+ January 2012
+ December 2011
+ November 2011
Search Blogs

The universe has got my back

Permanent Linkby OMNICELL on Fri Nov 03, 2017 3:45 pm

The basis of this blog is; " They are not my friends"; yet, I keep making them out to be my friends! They are friendly, but thats because Im in proximity! and looking back; if I did not interact with them; they would have never interacted with me! I mean; if I leave them alone; they would leave me alone and never talk to me because I have no value to them! and if I dont watch it! I could get into trouble associating with them; they are 2 faced or 5 faced; not a safe group of people to associate with! but Im so lonely and desperate Ill take anything that breaths to notice me or connect with! for this reason, I have to turn to God for help!

So, Im at this meeting and things backfire! I have a problem; Id like to blame others! I am blaming others; but I cant seem to come to grips that the people Im blaming never claimed to be who Ive made them out to be! I see them as care givers to take care of me; they dont see it that way! in fact, most of them have proven on paper, they have little to no conscious; and they hang out with other in the same condition and I hang out with them; Im acting like I can use them to get a head or befriend them! Im now getting slammed in the face with it! They are manipulators and masters of it; and Im taken over by them; tripped off my feet very quickly before I know what happens! They are not thinking about me and never were! Its my dream world vs their strategy to take advantage of others!
.
They think 2 highly of themselves! and act as if they have the world by its reigns! In reality, they have nothing! in reality, they never claimed they cared who I am or what I think of them! They are not my friends; but since Ive been around them, they have been friendly; however, they fit together, I do not fit with them! I am not accepted by them! and since Ive allowed my walls to come down a bit; Ive got slammed in the face with it; that their not my friends! they see no value in me! and will not hold me to a high level of social status that I deserve!
.
The funny thing is or sad concerning thing; Ive gone to the wrong people for acceptance! But I cant see to handle it or deal with; Im afraid the right people wont accept me! Ive been put down by the upper classes or middle classes before! Im scared of them; I dont trust them, Ive never seen such deception then from the rich or educated with no conscious!
.
Im an easy going guy! I really am; but I've been displaced in the world; falling into the hands of the wrong people, and Im trying to figure out why; thats where I start!
.
Ive found that the child in me and God want to work together; the child needs direction and security and love and hope and care! The child in me does not trust me! Looking at myself; I haven't done to much to gain this childs trust! I have to first start by turning to God and bowing down and letting go of all outcomes!
.
When im in charge, I've been dumb about it! This means, a lack of respect for the consequences of things! Ive tried to get my needs met blindly by all the wrong people and places and things! I have to take this to source energy and stay out of it and away from it; away from all of it!
.
I have to stay out of the outcome of things! and allow God to bring the right people and places and things!
.
Ive blindly walked across fields and lines to the enemies outposts; and walk up to their camps as if nothing is going to happen to me; Ive acted like I can be friend them and have a great time freely; in reality, they are watching me to see how they can over come me! that is their goal in life; its not just me they want to overcome! The point; they are the enemy and not my friends! My real friends never accepted me; so, they were never my friends! and the people Im around now, do not accept me, no one seems to! so, what do I do! where do I go!
.
Thats what Im working on!
.
Im not around the right people; I havent ever been round the right people; I've tried to adapt to those people and places and things around me to survive; it hasn't worked; I've been crucified! Ive been around lies and deceivers that pretend to be one thing on the outside but on the inside they are corrupt and dont care!
.
I have to turn to source energy for help and stay away from everyone else! let God do his job and bring me the right people and places and things!
.
I have to stop being stupid about all of this! Im using other people to gain my sanity back! I'm using them as therapists or close friends that are going to help me! Non of these people are close finds of mine, but I keep making them out to be and getting hurt in the process! I guess Im desperate and lonely! I need just like everyone else! Im a human being! so, I have to turn to God because I feel so insecure and lonely and alone in the world!
.
I haven't trusted God in these areas! Im about to! -

Dissociative Disorder
CPTSD
AVPD; Social avoidance
Previous/Psychotic clinical Depression
agoraphobia
obsessive/compulsive disorder
Evolution didn't stop my death, God did .....Now what?
0 Comments Viewed 846 times

Who is online

Registered users: Anticyrate, Antonioapi, Antoniomif, Antonionwq, ArchCannon, Baidu [Spider], Bing [Bot], Dnester, Exabot [Bot], Google [Bot], Google Adsense [Bot], Google Feedfetcher, IainEtc, Majestic-12 [Bot], Orlando31, slither, Tyler, Zor