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OMNICELL
Consumer 6
Consumer 6
 
Posts: 1035
Joined: Tue Nov 15, 2011 5:06 am
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more changes ahead.
   Sun Dec 01, 2019 4:49 pm

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THe truth is making me naked!

Permanent Linkby OMNICELL on Fri Jun 28, 2013 4:41 am

Went to a meeting tonight.

Im more honest at this stage.

I told the group; Some people think Im lazy and wont work because Im on Social security, ( this is not a psych group, they are numb to things like SSI) I told them I wish I was not in this small town with these dumb people. I feel like the people have never left the pumpkin patch!

I told them I would probably never work again! I told them I was on the other side of things, Im now practicing conversation starters and I might try them on the group. No one laughed. I told them I was looking forward to having girlfriends again and friends; no one laughed, They looked at me in fear or rage. Seems I destroyed there secrets; those things they use behind my back. I played with there status positions like they were puppets.

I guess I wasn't playing along like I was suppose to! I was doing my own thing, I was doing this in front of beautiful young women against the wall to the far right of me! Everyone knew this!

I was dumping stuff that could make me look like a weirdo. I made it clear that I was not seeking popularity, I was seeking recovery.

-----
Problem:

Why am I opening my mouth, I probably destroyed my chances with one of the girls in the rooms that likes me! Am I doing this as an excuse not to get close because Im chicken? I think so! iTs my way to scapegoat out of the responsibility that goes with the courting process! Im a frigid chicken!

When I got done sharing and came home, I began to see new images in my head from the past. Seems the truth opened them up!

I need the contempt gone from my life if Im going to date again. I need the real past opened up and sifted through like a knife. Im attempting to find the contempt memories; experience those memories and move on!

Dissociative Disorder
CPTSD
AVPD; Social avoidance
Previous/Psychotic clinical Depression
agoraphobia
obsessive/compulsive disorder
Evolution didn't stop my death, God did .....Now what?
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