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OMNICELL
Consumer 6
Consumer 6
 
Posts: 1035
Joined: Tue Nov 15, 2011 5:06 am
Blog: View Blog (1009)
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- August 2019
Finding my voice
   Tue Aug 20, 2019 4:47 pm
Three important conversations with women
   Tue Aug 20, 2019 1:39 am
I letting socioapths attack me again; abuse me; feel demoralized
   Mon Aug 19, 2019 11:23 am
Mellowing; and idea of exploring the entrances to the gap...
   Mon Aug 19, 2019 1:20 am
A house and a backyard and 4 walls and a hobby
   Sun Aug 18, 2019 1:09 am
moving into know mans land (positive); and then through
   Fri Aug 16, 2019 9:41 pm
The Gap
   Wed Aug 14, 2019 8:37 pm
Teenage years
   Wed Aug 14, 2019 2:25 am
finding and painting rocks
   Tue Aug 13, 2019 5:14 pm
Expressing my feelings
   Tue Aug 13, 2019 3:26 pm
I know Ive never met any women to date ever....
   Tue Aug 13, 2019 11:02 am
Being alone all of my life with out women or a relationship
   Tue Aug 13, 2019 10:16 am
The wright brothers created plaines; Im creating my new life
   Tue Aug 13, 2019 8:41 am
A new era is starting; But Ive got problems
   Mon Aug 12, 2019 12:19 pm
Signs of the end is here; and a new era starting
   Sun Aug 11, 2019 6:13 pm
Trapped between 2 worlds
   Sun Aug 11, 2019 3:23 pm
Things are getting better; Im still fat; I got a problem
   Fri Aug 09, 2019 11:38 pm
Women have defeated me? and I feel deated? #1
   Fri Aug 09, 2019 6:45 am
Plans from the universe; they have cometh
   Wed Aug 07, 2019 4:39 pm
breaking things and coming together
   Wed Aug 07, 2019 11:44 am
What am I thinking about
   Wed Aug 07, 2019 4:16 am
That breaking point
   Tue Aug 06, 2019 8:45 pm
Needing my mothers permission
   Tue Aug 06, 2019 5:47 pm
And another day
   Tue Aug 06, 2019 5:03 pm
Im so right in the middle of the promises
   Tue Aug 06, 2019 4:35 pm
whats missing with music; live playing
   Mon Aug 05, 2019 11:22 pm
Women and John Denver
   Sun Aug 04, 2019 11:33 pm
Bulling
   Sun Aug 04, 2019 1:33 am
art images coming back and other things; taking action
   Sat Aug 03, 2019 8:35 pm
I wasn't suppose to break the my first girls heart....
   Sat Aug 03, 2019 12:47 pm
Take my mother out of the picture; what do I get.
   Fri Aug 02, 2019 11:47 pm
Where am at right now.
   Thu Aug 01, 2019 11:30 am

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The trap house part 2

Permanent Linkby OMNICELL on Fri Jul 12, 2019 3:13 pm

The trap house in my old neighborhood as a kid; turns out to be the same house I grew up in as a kid. It was a friends house that I spent time in; In the end; the friend betrays me and is not the person I thought he was; I was devastated. The goal now is to process all that happened in that neighborhood and move on from it; this will take much time and work; lots of dead spaces in this process; areas of dissociation and pain and way over the top horror and loss and tragedy.
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I was walking around in that neighborhood yesterday with someone; I was explaining my past and processing some things; and thats what I need to do; to do more and more and keep praying about it.
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I want to process it; I want to move forward with my life away from this place; back to a place of where Im suppose to live and thrive. My past is like a giant cemetery thats still alive; I dont want the past alive anymore; I want to relive what Im suppose to relive and move on from their.
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I have to work through the past. Then what do I do.
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I have the opportunity to put the past to rest; I think.
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I have allot of work to do.
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Im a bit scared on direction; I dont know what direction to go; Ill have to work it out with the universe; I feel like Ive got this one big hill left to climb in order to come back to the present and focus on what I want for the present; so; Im working hard with the universe to unravel my past.... ITs frustrating. It hurts. something happens when Im working on the present; the past starts to look like the past; Im not melding it in with the present; instead; its a burden I want to do away with....
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Dissociative Disorder
CPTSD
AVPD; Social avoidance
Previous/Psychotic clinical Depression
agoraphobia
obsessive/compulsive disorder
Evolution didn't stop my death, God did .....Now what?
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