Ive spent my time around the wrong people; the wrong women! My goal, as I get stronger is to be around the right women! I don't want the wrong ones around me; its useless; should I blame them; I used to! not anymore! The goal is to stop looking for the wrong people and concentrate on an a specific thought in the center of my mind of the right women! Is this easy! No! Im a victim! so, its not easy! The negative thoughts come back and I blame the world for this negative training! However, with persistence, I understand that the goal is to find the right thought to concentrate on! Create a pic of the perfect women I can think off! and concentrate on that! put her in the center of my mind; of my thinking! focus on that! and really focus on that! And that is the problem; my thinking goes negative for various reasons; the past slipping in!
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My gaol is an Asian-soulmate! The feelings have been of places like Seattle, San Fransisco, Portland area; However, its centered about Hawaii and the Polynesian concept! Its very strong this pull toward Hawaii! I have to learn to grow with it and work on it until I believe in this thought!
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Working on my thoughts is the key! " Thank you universe for all the good things in my life I dont know about yet".
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Im scared of the outside world most of the time; Im not living how I would dream! My original idea was to leave this planet! Ive been through to much trauma! If I was in heaven; everything would be different; I could get off this crummy planet and its cruel conscious-less people and go somewhere safe! However, God had other plans! So, here I am attempting to work with source energy and the universe and make things happen! Learn to rise above the filth.
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I have allot of work to do in order to trust again; its all up to me, Im a deliberate creator of my own reality! The goal is to not worry about or focus on the reality of the physical in front of me; instead; concentrate and focus on whats in my imagination that makes me feel good.
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What I feel good about; I will attract!
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Attraction; a 2 edged dilemma!
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If I concentrate on negativity and hatred and revenge; that is what I attract; I attract what I feel! So, my feelings must change!
If I think about ugly worthless people or I think Im ugly; that is what I attract! And I must not freak out if I do so; I must continue to work on my thoughts! I must learn to have dreams and not concentrate on what is in front of me!
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If I think Im ugly and not good enough for people; that is the type of people I attract; and that has been one big problem! Although I attempt to create good feelings though; deeper negate thoughts prevail.
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I have found that I am attracting what I think about! I have to believe in what I think about! if I dont believe I can have what I think about; I wont have it; it will not show up! the universe does not care; it is a merrier of what Im thinking about! it reflects and sends back what I think about! I am a transmitter and the universe receives; it relay's the information back to me!
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The reality I live in at the moment is what Im seeing or thinking or believing in my mind!
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The goal is to feel and believe something so big that it must show up! That is the work!
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Im in the beginning stages of learning how to use my mind! I have to learn to believe!