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OMNICELL
Consumer 6
Consumer 6
 
Posts: 1035
Joined: Tue Nov 15, 2011 5:06 am
Blog: View Blog (957)
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- July 2019
Things continue to change
   Sun Jul 21, 2019 10:53 pm
the strange world of getting better did
   Sun Jul 21, 2019 4:36 pm
This is not going to be easy.
   Sun Jul 21, 2019 10:47 am
Identity 101; so; it officinally begins; the rebuilding
   Sun Jul 21, 2019 2:25 am
Something positive is happening
   Sat Jul 20, 2019 11:54 pm
The Beatles
   Sat Jul 20, 2019 6:04 am
A place exists
   Fri Jul 19, 2019 11:21 pm
Things are changing again
   Fri Jul 19, 2019 3:41 pm
Things are heating up; Im now backing down
   Fri Jul 19, 2019 9:06 am
I have CPTSD
   Wed Jul 17, 2019 4:47 pm
Real changes are occurring
   Tue Jul 16, 2019 10:46 am
Coming back into the present
   Tue Jul 16, 2019 2:32 am
Im extremely frustrated
   Mon Jul 15, 2019 11:14 pm
Fining myself or facing myself
   Mon Jul 15, 2019 8:39 pm
Im beginning to understand
   Sun Jul 14, 2019 3:30 pm
Visualizing
   Fri Jul 12, 2019 8:28 pm
Starting from the beginning
   Fri Jul 12, 2019 3:35 pm
The trap house part 2
   Fri Jul 12, 2019 3:13 pm
The trap house; I only knew about; In the end I win
   Fri Jul 12, 2019 1:15 am
Massive Mega paradigm shift
   Thu Jul 11, 2019 3:01 pm
First post recovery conversation
   Wed Jul 10, 2019 9:55 pm
Dating and Art
   Wed Jul 10, 2019 4:44 pm
movement
   Tue Jul 09, 2019 5:56 pm
childhood abandonment
   Mon Jul 08, 2019 3:23 pm
Being single
   Mon Jul 08, 2019 3:53 am
Preview: PTSD; High School
   Sat Jul 06, 2019 10:31 pm
Fear
   Sat Jul 06, 2019 4:34 pm
Ive found some answers
   Sat Jul 06, 2019 12:41 pm
D.I.D; let me introduce myself
   Sat Jul 06, 2019 12:23 pm
PTSD; dealing with triggers.
   Fri Jul 05, 2019 5:32 am
Making me into a loser; its all about the critical voice
   Thu Jul 04, 2019 6:08 pm
Molding sound like clay; having reasons; Things are changing
   Wed Jul 03, 2019 4:25 pm
critical voice
   Wed Jul 03, 2019 6:38 am
Toxic shame
   Tue Jul 02, 2019 11:05 pm
Ive found some answers
   Tue Jul 02, 2019 7:59 am

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The right women; the right niche area!

Permanent Linkby OMNICELL on Sat Feb 24, 2018 10:09 pm

Ive spent my time around the wrong people; the wrong women! My goal, as I get stronger is to be around the right women! I don't want the wrong ones around me; its useless; should I blame them; I used to! not anymore! The goal is to stop looking for the wrong people and concentrate on an a specific thought in the center of my mind of the right women! Is this easy! No! Im a victim! so, its not easy! The negative thoughts come back and I blame the world for this negative training! However, with persistence, I understand that the goal is to find the right thought to concentrate on! Create a pic of the perfect women I can think off! and concentrate on that! put her in the center of my mind; of my thinking! focus on that! and really focus on that! And that is the problem; my thinking goes negative for various reasons; the past slipping in!
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My gaol is an Asian-soulmate! The feelings have been of places like Seattle, San Fransisco, Portland area; However, its centered about Hawaii and the Polynesian concept! Its very strong this pull toward Hawaii! I have to learn to grow with it and work on it until I believe in this thought!
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Working on my thoughts is the key! " Thank you universe for all the good things in my life I dont know about yet".
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Im scared of the outside world most of the time; Im not living how I would dream! My original idea was to leave this planet! Ive been through to much trauma! If I was in heaven; everything would be different; I could get off this crummy planet and its cruel conscious-less people and go somewhere safe! However, God had other plans! So, here I am attempting to work with source energy and the universe and make things happen! Learn to rise above the filth.
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I have allot of work to do in order to trust again; its all up to me, Im a deliberate creator of my own reality! The goal is to not worry about or focus on the reality of the physical in front of me; instead; concentrate and focus on whats in my imagination that makes me feel good.
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What I feel good about; I will attract!
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Attraction; a 2 edged dilemma!
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If I concentrate on negativity and hatred and revenge; that is what I attract; I attract what I feel! So, my feelings must change!
If I think about ugly worthless people or I think Im ugly; that is what I attract! And I must not freak out if I do so; I must continue to work on my thoughts! I must learn to have dreams and not concentrate on what is in front of me!
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If I think Im ugly and not good enough for people; that is the type of people I attract; and that has been one big problem! Although I attempt to create good feelings though; deeper negate thoughts prevail.
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I have found that I am attracting what I think about! I have to believe in what I think about! if I dont believe I can have what I think about; I wont have it; it will not show up! the universe does not care; it is a merrier of what Im thinking about! it reflects and sends back what I think about! I am a transmitter and the universe receives; it relay's the information back to me!
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The reality I live in at the moment is what Im seeing or thinking or believing in my mind!
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The goal is to feel and believe something so big that it must show up! That is the work!
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Im in the beginning stages of learning how to use my mind! I have to learn to believe!

Dissociative Disorder
CPTSD
AVPD; Social avoidance
Previous/Psychotic clinical Depression
agoraphobia
obsessive/compulsive disorder
Evolution didn't stop my death, God did .....Now what?
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