Our partner

User avatar
OMNICELL
Consumer 6
Consumer 6
 
Posts: 1035
Joined: Tue Nov 15, 2011 5:06 am
Blog: View Blog (1025)
Archives
- November 2019
Social skills improving
   Thu Nov 07, 2019 12:51 am
My goal is to work through adolescence.
   Fri Nov 01, 2019 9:16 pm

+ October 2019
+ September 2019
+ August 2019
+ July 2019
+ June 2019
+ May 2019
+ April 2019
+ March 2019
+ February 2019
+ January 2019
+ December 2018
+ November 2018
+ October 2018
+ September 2018
+ August 2018
+ July 2018
+ June 2018
+ May 2018
+ April 2018
+ March 2018
+ February 2018
+ January 2018
+ December 2017
+ November 2017
+ October 2017
+ September 2017
+ August 2017
+ July 2017
+ June 2017
+ May 2017
+ April 2017
+ March 2017
+ February 2017
+ January 2017
+ December 2016
+ November 2016
+ September 2016
+ August 2016
+ July 2016
+ June 2016
+ May 2016
+ April 2016
+ March 2016
+ February 2016
+ January 2016
+ December 2015
+ November 2015
+ October 2015
+ September 2015
+ August 2015
+ April 2015
+ March 2015
+ February 2015
+ January 2015
+ December 2014
+ November 2014
+ October 2014
+ September 2014
+ August 2014
+ July 2014
+ June 2014
+ May 2014
+ April 2014
+ March 2014
+ February 2014
+ January 2014
+ December 2013
+ November 2013
+ October 2013
+ September 2013
+ August 2013
+ July 2013
+ June 2013
+ May 2013
+ April 2013
+ March 2013
+ February 2013
+ January 2013
+ December 2012
+ November 2012
+ October 2012
+ September 2012
+ August 2012
+ July 2012
+ June 2012
+ May 2012
+ April 2012
+ March 2012
+ February 2012
+ January 2012
+ December 2011
+ November 2011
Search Blogs

The horror of PTSD

Permanent Linkby OMNICELL on Thu Nov 26, 2015 4:38 am

It's so hard, so sad, its all like yesterday! You relive your whole young life, trying to get to the core of it and remember, then you realize its 45 years ago! And you simply fall over and sink into a whole you don't want to get out of!

This is truly hardcore! It's the real thing! The goal is to get better, get strong enough to process some of those past events that were stolen! Feel the steal! When life was stolen from me! Feel it, see it, grieve it, face it! Im attempting to remember everything before the dissociative disorder took over! When it took over, I went into a mist like cloud and never returned for 30 years!

The 30 years I was gone; " I was gone," it was another personality made up of at least 6 different personalities of different time periods! Different means of different age periods! I would not call them by name! One was or is a 4 year old he/she, that runs the alter system; she is the protector! There is a psychopath soldier that can keep me alive if there is no personality host! Where my mind died! I have rebellious teenager; 14 or 15! I have the hidden one; he never comes out! He was raped over n over!

I have the youngest one who experiences stuff very very young! He went through bad things! It is this time period that comes up when others attempt to get close to me!

I have memories of my childhood I never remembered! I have memories of sitting down behind a tree as a boy! Or a tree bush on a hot summer day; sitting by a house! And yet, I never remembered this before! Because I cannot place this person in my childhood! This is another boy with his own memories!

I am healing up, and in the last several years have has mass integration development!

One area Im wanting change! Im looking forward to remembering the day to day life of my child hood with my father when very young! I would like to go from those memories back into reality and live again!

Ive put up with allot of people blocking me! Trying to knock me down; nock down my ego! They attempt to complete with me! At times I think its about women! They are trying to knock my status off with the women in the room! Could be!

My gaol is to remember the days I felt safe and secure as a boy, to feels those again! And feel safe again! That would be nice!

I know the psychopaths could not be anything other then psychopaths on a daily basis! If you were to profile these sociopath psychopaths; you would find classic profiles! Nothing new here!

One goal is to not take anything personally that happened to me! And this is brutally hard, yet I am practicing this!

Im solving certain problems I could not solve before!

The goal is social interaction! And I personally know what this means! I had problems with anything that breathed! anything breathing could hurt me! could take advantage of me! could use me or spitefully hold things against me!

PTSD; Its all to much, it takes me over completely, and I don't know where Im at!

Dissociative Disorder
CPTSD
AVPD; Social avoidance
Previous/Psychotic clinical Depression
agoraphobia
obsessive/compulsive disorder
Evolution didn't stop my death, God did .....Now what?
0 Comments Viewed 6510 times

Who is online

Registered users: Baidu [Spider], Bing [Bot], blueocean2005, Google [Bot], Google Adsense [Bot], Google Feedfetcher, Majestic-12 [Bot], morbid3, MSN [Bot]