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OMNICELL
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Posts: 1035
Joined: Tue Nov 15, 2011 5:06 am
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The honeymoon is over

Permanent Linkby OMNICELL on Tue Jun 03, 2014 5:33 pm

SO many defenses... I can't break through hers, and she doesn't care what I want. I don't know how long this is going to last.

My hope is; I can grow out of where Im at. I can get used to women again, get past the honeymoon phase and move into a place that dating seems normal; past the " Im in love with you" phase from sleep ing with her once!

hopefully I can get to the point of not caring. Im going backward. Im not longer seriously interested in her. Possibly for dating, then when that actually starts, we will see!

She has made it clear; she wants to get to know me before a relationship! this draws out the courtship process to the point of showing every flaw! who can stand up to every flaw! so its not a weeding process. Its a:" weeding out me" process. At some point I will give up.

Actually Im hoping to develop the rest of my skills for openers when I approach another women!

This women is not into me! she does not seem interested in anything but control! She's so obsessed on keeping everything at a distance that It made clear she is just trying me out first like a rug; I end up distancing myself into some other girls arms... I really don't get these people! I can't take them seriously! its a joke!

Every time she gives someone else attention ( another man) I just sit and wonder why I stay interested in her!

I know she likes me! but who cares, she doesn't...

Im not sure what to think!

Im hoping to loose all interest in her and look for others!

She does not appreciate me! that is the feeling I get from her! Its all about her!

She acts like a business women that is in control! Im like; OK, you win! have your control, have your contempt!

I got mad at her several times; I through her number away, and had to ask for it again! She said " this time is the last time" Im like " OK" So! So its the last time! I have no relationship with her! she didn't want me as a boyfriend. She wants to test me first get to know me! What a waist!

All its doing is helping me practice for the next relationship. Its giving me experience! Its pushing me into the arms of others and away from her!

I assume she will become so hardened towards me, I have no choice but to leave and never come back...

----------------------------------------------

When I say I will never come back; it seems un natural! like we will always be together! like we are already joined! joined in the heart. Is this possible! does this happen to every girl you meet that you want to date!

I never wanted to date her.. I wanted her as my girlfriend! Does this happen with all girls I would meet and want! Is this normal or codependency!

I think she is the same way! but Im afraid she does not take care of it. she is carless with my interests! and for that reason, God has given me permission to leave! I am not to be damaged anymore!

Dissociative Disorder
CPTSD
AVPD; Social avoidance
Previous/Psychotic clinical Depression
agoraphobia
obsessive/compulsive disorder
Evolution didn't stop my death, God did .....Now what?
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