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OMNICELL
Consumer 6
Consumer 6
 
Posts: 1035
Joined: Tue Nov 15, 2011 5:06 am
Blog: View Blog (1009)
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- August 2019
Finding my voice
   Tue Aug 20, 2019 4:47 pm
Three important conversations with women
   Tue Aug 20, 2019 1:39 am
I letting socioapths attack me again; abuse me; feel demoralized
   Mon Aug 19, 2019 11:23 am
Mellowing; and idea of exploring the entrances to the gap...
   Mon Aug 19, 2019 1:20 am
A house and a backyard and 4 walls and a hobby
   Sun Aug 18, 2019 1:09 am
moving into know mans land (positive); and then through
   Fri Aug 16, 2019 9:41 pm
The Gap
   Wed Aug 14, 2019 8:37 pm
Teenage years
   Wed Aug 14, 2019 2:25 am
finding and painting rocks
   Tue Aug 13, 2019 5:14 pm
Expressing my feelings
   Tue Aug 13, 2019 3:26 pm
I know Ive never met any women to date ever....
   Tue Aug 13, 2019 11:02 am
Being alone all of my life with out women or a relationship
   Tue Aug 13, 2019 10:16 am
The wright brothers created plaines; Im creating my new life
   Tue Aug 13, 2019 8:41 am
A new era is starting; But Ive got problems
   Mon Aug 12, 2019 12:19 pm
Signs of the end is here; and a new era starting
   Sun Aug 11, 2019 6:13 pm
Trapped between 2 worlds
   Sun Aug 11, 2019 3:23 pm
Things are getting better; Im still fat; I got a problem
   Fri Aug 09, 2019 11:38 pm
Women have defeated me? and I feel deated? #1
   Fri Aug 09, 2019 6:45 am
Plans from the universe; they have cometh
   Wed Aug 07, 2019 4:39 pm
breaking things and coming together
   Wed Aug 07, 2019 11:44 am
What am I thinking about
   Wed Aug 07, 2019 4:16 am
That breaking point
   Tue Aug 06, 2019 8:45 pm
Needing my mothers permission
   Tue Aug 06, 2019 5:47 pm
And another day
   Tue Aug 06, 2019 5:03 pm
Im so right in the middle of the promises
   Tue Aug 06, 2019 4:35 pm
whats missing with music; live playing
   Mon Aug 05, 2019 11:22 pm
Women and John Denver
   Sun Aug 04, 2019 11:33 pm
Bulling
   Sun Aug 04, 2019 1:33 am
art images coming back and other things; taking action
   Sat Aug 03, 2019 8:35 pm
I wasn't suppose to break the my first girls heart....
   Sat Aug 03, 2019 12:47 pm
Take my mother out of the picture; what do I get.
   Fri Aug 02, 2019 11:47 pm
Where am at right now.
   Thu Aug 01, 2019 11:30 am

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The Core problem

Permanent Linkby OMNICELL on Fri Oct 25, 2013 6:28 pm

As a child I was damaged!

Ill look at a basic layman's understanding of it!

Ill look at a broken arm!



I went off a ledge, I choked, the bike bounced,

When I was able to get up, I could not move my left arm!
I got my bike up, walked to the hospital!

The Doc told me I had broken my left arm
---------------------------

I noticed something about trauma:

1. My whole body went into shock,

2. A hematoma quickly formed over the broken elbow

3. The arm no longer functioned.

4. What if statements?

5. embarrassment:

6. How long will my arm be out! how long will it take to heal.

7. Will my arm be back to normal;
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The above example is much like the mental psych damage I went through as a child...

1. I felt I could do anything on my bike,

2. I trusted my bike to save my life
I felt the same way about the house when a child!

I would learn later how wrong I was!

3. I trusted chance taking! I felt a security of safety!

Now, looking back at the bike and chances I took and looking back at the parents I had; I was destroyed in both arenas.

When I smashed my arm in, it was at the local University!

My Parents abandon me very quickly!
--------------------------------------------------

My psych wounds were so traumatizing; I was so ruptured that I huge psychological hematoma rapped itself around the mind wounds and never let up! Year after year received more wounding to the same areas and got worse. My mind began to weaken to the point that it could not sustain itself. And the abuse was just starting! and in its finality would be mass PTSD problems, and full dissociative disorder; the results would be Social security disability and a ruined short life!

And they never came back! they got rid of me and never looked back! they separated my brothers and myself! and turned the situation into a prison camp simulation! I was farmed out to other families like a second class citizen or a foster child! and I ended up much like a raped beaten destroyed foster child! It was really impossible not to kill myself!

Just like the bike accident! if you do not get help, you will not heal correctly!

You don't really know what kind of condition your arm is in when it breaks, all you know is; your in pain, and the arm does not work anymore!
Much is the same for a broken mind!

I know about the damage and what needs to heal up!

Im afraid most people are not concerned about my condition! most ridicule me or send me on my way!

Im one of the lucky ones!

Other things:

Ive also found that women are not here to make you happy!

The idea with women is: sweep them off there feet! make them laugh!

Women want to be taken care of! and you will find plenty of rejection if you expect anything from them!

Dissociative Disorder
CPTSD
AVPD; Social avoidance
Previous/Psychotic clinical Depression
agoraphobia
obsessive/compulsive disorder
Evolution didn't stop my death, God did .....Now what?
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