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The Christian view of " helping the poor"; is not appicalbe here

Permanent Linkby OMNICELL on Wed Nov 22, 2017 5:29 pm

I spent years of my life being demoralized and lied to by other people; scumbags; sociopaths; some psychopaths and pathological degenerates! I do not have to do this anymore! By the time I was 18 years old; I was an old man! No one cared about me! but I had to care about them forcibly! I either allowed what they did or I was abandon! in the end, I was abandon anyway, and chasing them down! I was to ignorant to know what was happening; that I was chasing down monsters I should have never been around in the first place!. The alternative to being around them was the stark reality of being completely alone and never having a life in the first place! I could not handle that horrible reality! I was a throw away and had been used the whole time; I was exploited and led on that I would have a life! I never got a life; it was all a game, I was basically thrown to the streets as a child! and I was never brought up! the TV is all I knew! The surroundings were not what they appeared to be! It was all contrived, every bit of my childhood! I was no better then a street person the whole of the time and never knew!
It was like baby sitting adults; I had to chase them down or deal with them and their actions! I had to tolerate them! baby sit them; I put in my time for people that use me! I dont have to do it anymore! Im not a ogore. Im not suggesting Im not a descent person! I dont care anymore! God did not send me to help the poor! I am the poor, I turned into the poor after I was given away to the streets or where ever I landed! I had no time to my own life or resources for my own well being or future!
I am to follow source energy; Jesus Christ Universal; he is source energy; the energy of the universe. I am to honor source energy first! meaning, I turn to source energy to ask source energy what to do; the universe; not the person next to me! I dont get advice from people! I talk to the universe! If the universe is leading me away from the poor and into a new wonderful life; I go with it!
My conscious is according to my guidance system; My guidance system only takes orders from my higher power source energy! That determines what I focus on!
This subject is a huge real problem for me! its keeping at the lower levels of humanity!
I thought that if I acted like Im interested in the poor, I would get something out of it! I never got anywhere! nothing! my feelings were trying to connect with something that would love me! I was hoping the poor would see my value and love me! " Wrong", First, I was never around the poor! it was all in my head! next, the poor I associated with were never hurting like I am! They seemed to be OK! I was the one that was not OK with myself or my life! I was running from my life and my potential and my dreams! I did not feel good enough to have dreams or follow them!
How am I going to feel better about myself; by following through with my dreams; Im not going to feel better by diverting what Im suppose to do by helping the poor! It seems crazy, now that I thinking about it! What do I really want_________?, a house, truck, Asian-soulmate, train set, lots of money! Who is going to get this stuff! I am; working with God! am I suppose to be doing anything else! Yes! ART! Im suppose to be creating! Im suppose to be making art!

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