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OMNICELL
Consumer 6
Consumer 6
 
Posts: 1035
Joined: Tue Nov 15, 2011 5:06 am
Blog: View Blog (1009)
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- August 2019
Finding my voice
   Tue Aug 20, 2019 4:47 pm
Three important conversations with women
   Tue Aug 20, 2019 1:39 am
I letting socioapths attack me again; abuse me; feel demoralized
   Mon Aug 19, 2019 11:23 am
Mellowing; and idea of exploring the entrances to the gap...
   Mon Aug 19, 2019 1:20 am
A house and a backyard and 4 walls and a hobby
   Sun Aug 18, 2019 1:09 am
moving into know mans land (positive); and then through
   Fri Aug 16, 2019 9:41 pm
The Gap
   Wed Aug 14, 2019 8:37 pm
Teenage years
   Wed Aug 14, 2019 2:25 am
finding and painting rocks
   Tue Aug 13, 2019 5:14 pm
Expressing my feelings
   Tue Aug 13, 2019 3:26 pm
I know Ive never met any women to date ever....
   Tue Aug 13, 2019 11:02 am
Being alone all of my life with out women or a relationship
   Tue Aug 13, 2019 10:16 am
The wright brothers created plaines; Im creating my new life
   Tue Aug 13, 2019 8:41 am
A new era is starting; But Ive got problems
   Mon Aug 12, 2019 12:19 pm
Signs of the end is here; and a new era starting
   Sun Aug 11, 2019 6:13 pm
Trapped between 2 worlds
   Sun Aug 11, 2019 3:23 pm
Things are getting better; Im still fat; I got a problem
   Fri Aug 09, 2019 11:38 pm
Women have defeated me? and I feel deated? #1
   Fri Aug 09, 2019 6:45 am
Plans from the universe; they have cometh
   Wed Aug 07, 2019 4:39 pm
breaking things and coming together
   Wed Aug 07, 2019 11:44 am
What am I thinking about
   Wed Aug 07, 2019 4:16 am
That breaking point
   Tue Aug 06, 2019 8:45 pm
Needing my mothers permission
   Tue Aug 06, 2019 5:47 pm
And another day
   Tue Aug 06, 2019 5:03 pm
Im so right in the middle of the promises
   Tue Aug 06, 2019 4:35 pm
whats missing with music; live playing
   Mon Aug 05, 2019 11:22 pm
Women and John Denver
   Sun Aug 04, 2019 11:33 pm
Bulling
   Sun Aug 04, 2019 1:33 am
art images coming back and other things; taking action
   Sat Aug 03, 2019 8:35 pm
I wasn't suppose to break the my first girls heart....
   Sat Aug 03, 2019 12:47 pm
Take my mother out of the picture; what do I get.
   Fri Aug 02, 2019 11:47 pm
Where am at right now.
   Thu Aug 01, 2019 11:30 am

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The Christian view of " helping the poor"; is not appicalbe here

Permanent Linkby OMNICELL on Wed Nov 22, 2017 5:29 pm

I spent years of my life being demoralized and lied to by other people; scumbags; sociopaths; some psychopaths and pathological degenerates! I do not have to do this anymore! By the time I was 18 years old; I was an old man! No one cared about me! but I had to care about them forcibly! I either allowed what they did or I was abandon! in the end, I was abandon anyway, and chasing them down! I was to ignorant to know what was happening; that I was chasing down monsters I should have never been around in the first place!. The alternative to being around them was the stark reality of being completely alone and never having a life in the first place! I could not handle that horrible reality! I was a throw away and had been used the whole time; I was exploited and led on that I would have a life! I never got a life; it was all a game, I was basically thrown to the streets as a child! and I was never brought up! the TV is all I knew! The surroundings were not what they appeared to be! It was all contrived, every bit of my childhood! I was no better then a street person the whole of the time and never knew!
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It was like baby sitting adults; I had to chase them down or deal with them and their actions! I had to tolerate them! baby sit them; I put in my time for people that use me! I dont have to do it anymore! Im not a ogore. Im not suggesting Im not a descent person! I dont care anymore! God did not send me to help the poor! I am the poor, I turned into the poor after I was given away to the streets or where ever I landed! I had no time to my own life or resources for my own well being or future!
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I am to follow source energy; Jesus Christ Universal; he is source energy; the energy of the universe. I am to honor source energy first! meaning, I turn to source energy to ask source energy what to do; the universe; not the person next to me! I dont get advice from people! I talk to the universe! If the universe is leading me away from the poor and into a new wonderful life; I go with it!
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My conscious is according to my guidance system; My guidance system only takes orders from my higher power source energy! That determines what I focus on!
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This subject is a huge real problem for me! its keeping at the lower levels of humanity!
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I thought that if I acted like Im interested in the poor, I would get something out of it! I never got anywhere! nothing! my feelings were trying to connect with something that would love me! I was hoping the poor would see my value and love me! " Wrong", First, I was never around the poor! it was all in my head! next, the poor I associated with were never hurting like I am! They seemed to be OK! I was the one that was not OK with myself or my life! I was running from my life and my potential and my dreams! I did not feel good enough to have dreams or follow them!
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How am I going to feel better about myself; by following through with my dreams; Im not going to feel better by diverting what Im suppose to do by helping the poor! It seems crazy, now that I thinking about it! What do I really want_________?, a house, truck, Asian-soulmate, train set, lots of money! Who is going to get this stuff! I am; working with God! am I suppose to be doing anything else! Yes! ART! Im suppose to be creating! Im suppose to be making art!
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Dissociative Disorder
CPTSD
AVPD; Social avoidance
Previous/Psychotic clinical Depression
agoraphobia
obsessive/compulsive disorder
Evolution didn't stop my death, God did .....Now what?
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