Our partner

User avatar
OMNICELL
Consumer 6
Consumer 6
 
Posts: 1052
Joined: Tue Nov 15, 2011 5:06 am
Blog: View Blog (1751)
Archives
- March 2024
A gift from God #2
   Sat Mar 16, 2024 9:21 pm
The Gift from God…
   Tue Mar 12, 2024 5:29 pm
2 goals; elements of accomplishment
   Tue Mar 12, 2024 1:41 pm
Work Ethic is Needed Please
   Tue Mar 12, 2024 4:46 am
Some Solutions; Lot of Hope
   Thu Mar 07, 2024 5:39 am

+ February 2024
+ January 2024
+ December 2023
+ November 2023
+ October 2023
+ September 2023
+ August 2023
+ July 2023
+ June 2023
+ May 2023
+ April 2023
+ March 2023
+ February 2023
+ January 2023
+ December 2022
+ November 2022
+ October 2022
+ September 2022
+ August 2022
+ July 2022
+ June 2022
+ May 2022
+ April 2022
+ March 2022
+ February 2022
+ January 2022
+ December 2021
+ November 2021
+ October 2021
+ September 2021
+ August 2021
+ July 2021
+ June 2021
+ May 2021
+ April 2021
+ March 2021
+ February 2021
+ January 2021
+ December 2020
+ November 2020
+ October 2020
+ September 2020
+ August 2020
+ July 2020
+ June 2020
+ May 2020
+ April 2020
+ March 2020
+ February 2020
+ January 2020
+ December 2019
+ November 2019
+ October 2019
+ September 2019
+ August 2019
+ July 2019
+ June 2019
+ May 2019
+ April 2019
+ March 2019
+ February 2019
+ January 2019
+ December 2018
+ November 2018
+ October 2018
+ September 2018
+ August 2018
+ July 2018
+ June 2018
+ May 2018
+ April 2018
+ March 2018
+ February 2018
+ January 2018
+ December 2017
+ November 2017
+ October 2017
+ September 2017
+ August 2017
+ July 2017
+ June 2017
+ May 2017
+ April 2017
+ March 2017
+ February 2017
+ January 2017
+ December 2016
+ November 2016
+ September 2016
+ August 2016
+ July 2016
+ June 2016
+ May 2016
+ April 2016
+ March 2016
+ February 2016
+ January 2016
+ December 2015
+ November 2015
+ October 2015
+ September 2015
+ August 2015
+ April 2015
+ March 2015
+ February 2015
+ January 2015
+ December 2014
+ November 2014
+ October 2014
+ September 2014
+ August 2014
+ July 2014
+ June 2014
+ May 2014
+ April 2014
+ March 2014
+ February 2014
+ January 2014
+ December 2013
+ November 2013
+ October 2013
+ September 2013
+ August 2013
+ July 2013
+ June 2013
+ May 2013
+ April 2013
+ March 2013
+ February 2013
+ January 2013
+ December 2012
+ November 2012
+ October 2012
+ September 2012
+ August 2012
+ July 2012
+ June 2012
+ May 2012
+ April 2012
+ March 2012
+ February 2012
+ January 2012
+ December 2011
+ November 2011
Search Blogs

The attraction of wanting a female psychopath!

Permanent Linkby OMNICELL on Tue Oct 13, 2015 10:29 am

Here we go again! Thank God for blogging! I can sort some of this stuff out!

A few years ago, many women wanted me! All of the women from the meetings I go to! I could not respond to them! I could not let people get close to me! Or touch me!

Some women wrote me of as a bad bet! I had problems; so, stay away from that guy!

I had some very attractive women like me! Very young women! But now ! The same women wrote me off as a weirdo! And Im afraid it remains! Nothing I can do about it!

These women want to be worshiped and looked up to! They want a strong alpha male to take them over!

I just want to be myself!

Some of these girls, I found attractive and want to go out with! But Im not wanted anymore! Im looked down upon!

I told myself! " self"! Ask her out to coffee! But nothing is that free!

These girls have middle class homes to go to! They're not friends of mine! Their just players! But Im so attracted to them!

I know that women get attracted to bad boys! And many times a sociopath is faking this role to find women! They play the bad boy, drawing the women into their hands!

So, I had my glory days and those days are over! Especially with the shallow people! And that really hurts!

This one girl that found me attractive; does not find me attractive anymore! Im looked at like a weakling! And I can feel the contempt!

Im not sure why Im so hooked on good looking young sociopathic women! I guess its all ego!

The real problem; in the face of the truth! Why wont I let this go! Do I really need to get slapped! I ######6 hope not!

I do not have it going on, to have a women " like this" in my life! I can see a more motherly women in my life mothering me! Taking neighborhood of me!

IVe been around these shallow women; if you don't give them what they want; they drop you! And you are never the same in their eyes! They don't know you and don't care either way!

I know one girl is probably a sociopath! But I don't seem to care! I want into her life! But that makes me a stalker! So, who Im I to judge!

I seem to be under this girls spell! but Im not sure she ever bothered to put me under a spell! am I just a stalker imagining all of this

I have the hardest time walking by this person and not noticing her! She is so beautiful! But it's a trap and I don't want to accept that it's a trap! Im all raptured up in this women! And I don't know why!

I don't like it because its like having a spell on me!

Part of this is my loneliness! And desperation for a women! Im desperate for a women! Desperate!

Or, I like to tell myself that I think I should be desperate for a women; but Im not!

Im desperate for the right women! And I keep trying to make every women I meet; the right women!

Many women do not respect me! In their value system I am at the opposite spectrum of respect!

Im an intelligent man, but many women Ive had problems with do not look at their own mistakes and problems! They act like they " got it going on"!

Possibly, Ive gotten rapped into the wrong group of women! They think highly of themselves; 2 highly!

Their values are not my values! So, why am I attracted to them!


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

When you walk into a group, you have to have status! But what builds status! The problem with a number of the groups Im involved with! They consider people like myself weak! They don't not see any value, so they do not see anyone or anything with status!

They don't see status when they see me! Yet, Im the nicest person they have ever met! But it has no value to them! A bad boy sociopath has more status! Yet, does that not mean those girls only like men that are bad boys! So, why do I like those girls! They're not for real!

Possibly, you are attracted to people because they are in your area of reach!
================================================================================

I was never accepted by any group!

The times I was accepted; it was assumed I had money!

It was a mistake! I was living with the sociopaths in a new city! They had a house considered in a nice neighborhood! I visited a young girl up the street; she was my age! We liked each other! But only because I was from that neighborhood!

In reality, I was from no neighborhood or family system! So, where then would I fit in! I don't know!

I had no social class! I came from nothing! I came from confusion and lies! Where did I fit in! I don't know!

I thought the people I was associating with liked me for me! None of them did!

Ive learned from the 12 step meetings the same thing! People want something from you! As long as you're kissing everyones ass; your in! If not! Your regulated to the sidelines!

===================================================================================

One problem with women; women give of signals of interest or decency or innocence! They're not innocent; or they're not sending me signals! Maybe they used to send me signals, and it sent my ego through the roof! Why is the so hard to admit! It drove me crazy!

===================================================================================

The middle class people did not accept or like me! I had no money! When they found this out! I was out! It was that simple! It mattered not how long I knew someone! I was out! Once they found out I came from nothing, I was banished from their groups! I was scourge of society to these people! I meant nothing to them! They looked at me as a stranger in a strange land that they had never met!

===================================================================================

I came from no background!
===================================================================================

So, back to the problem;

In the meetings are women; and this is the problem! They are the wrong women! But they are close! And I get infatuated with them! When they see this; I get played and used very easily! I fall into getting attention from them! The problem is; I have no status with them! They don't see guys like me as valuable! Im a kind of wimp or weakling to these women! Because, they don't seem to have enough depth to see past the crest of a merrier! But thats OK! I'm not judging, Im just saying!

These women are not my women! They're not my group! It gets so frustrating! You want to fit in somewhere! But I haven't found a home of my own people yet!
======================================================================================

Intellectually I can fit in with higher class flash; but I don't have the economics for it!

At the lower end of things; I can fit in with the street people! But Im educated and have more of a conscious! My conscious is looked upon as a weakling! I alienate this group because of my intellect and middle class tendencies!
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I have made some friends from the meetings! Its possible, that the real people I am to be friends with will come from God, and not any group! I must talk to God about this!

I assume girlfriends will come from God and not any specific group!

I have to ignore people! People that don't count!
==================================================================================

People that don't count!

Many people I can hear laughing! But they are not friends of mine! They are friends of the person sitting next to me! And just because they are close, does not mean they are inviting me into their conversations!

" I tell myself, Im an intelligent man, why would they not invite me into their conversations" but they don't!

Why am I not being invited into their conversation! One reason! Im not their cup a tea! They never liked me or my kind in the first place! I meant nothing to them! They have no compassion! Nothing human!

Im starting to let go of these people! Its hard; Im all alone in the world! Thats another problem!

Dissociative Disorder
CPTSD
AVPD; Social avoidance
Previous/Psychotic clinical Depression
agoraphobia
obsessive/compulsive disorder
Evolution didn't stop my death, God did .....Now what?
0 Comments Viewed 8121 times

Who is online

Registered users: Bing [Bot], EdwardLaure, Google [Bot], Keithpax, Majestic-12 [Bot], WayneSit