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OMNICELL
Consumer 6
Consumer 6
 
Posts: 1035
Joined: Tue Nov 15, 2011 5:06 am
Blog: View Blog (917)
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- June 2019
going to meetings; Yuk
   Tue Jun 25, 2019 3:55 am
social is coming back; but its slow and about thinking
   Tue Jun 25, 2019 2:00 am
intimacy 3
   Mon Jun 24, 2019 11:26 am
1966 and 50 years later; or 50 years to late?
   Mon Jun 24, 2019 4:29 am
Coping with what has happened to me in this life
   Mon Jun 24, 2019 1:43 am
Visualizations
   Sat Jun 22, 2019 9:27 pm
Talents and development
   Sat Jun 22, 2019 12:39 pm
Money and women
   Sat Jun 22, 2019 12:19 pm
women and shame
   Fri Jun 21, 2019 5:53 am
Music creating; blocked
   Fri Jun 21, 2019 1:46 am
Im getting very close
   Fri Jun 21, 2019 1:25 am
Its hard when you were never loved.
   Thu Jun 20, 2019 5:29 pm
Things are changing
   Thu Jun 20, 2019 6:08 am
Cant finish anything I start; cant get started
   Thu Jun 20, 2019 3:36 am
Social isolation; social uphill climb
   Thu Jun 20, 2019 2:25 am
Feeling better inside
   Wed Jun 19, 2019 11:28 pm
Money
   Wed Jun 19, 2019 11:38 am
An interest in the arts
   Tue Jun 18, 2019 9:39 am
Social
   Mon Jun 17, 2019 10:32 pm
intimacy 2
   Mon Jun 17, 2019 4:02 pm
intimacy
   Mon Jun 17, 2019 10:51 am
Identity overwhelmed
   Sun Jun 16, 2019 10:22 am
re changing the present
   Wed Jun 12, 2019 3:45 pm
Working out of it; the struggle continues
   Tue Jun 11, 2019 4:14 pm
A new segment of life
   Tue Jun 11, 2019 1:07 am
dealing with life from zero to 18
   Mon Jun 10, 2019 8:13 pm
Connecting to things in the real world
   Mon Jun 10, 2019 11:53 am
Things are changing
   Mon Jun 10, 2019 4:43 am
I have to believe more
   Sat Jun 08, 2019 10:24 pm
liking myself and dating
   Thu Jun 06, 2019 8:46 pm
Dissociation
   Thu Jun 06, 2019 4:58 pm
Love
   Tue Jun 04, 2019 11:05 pm
Purpose
   Tue Jun 04, 2019 7:27 pm
Happiness
   Tue Jun 04, 2019 11:04 am
bulling and meditation and connection and...
   Sun Jun 02, 2019 8:03 pm
Bulling and meditation and connection and...
   Sun Jun 02, 2019 5:57 am
Childhood reconnection;
   Sat Jun 01, 2019 4:26 pm

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Thanks Giving ?

Permanent Linkby OMNICELL on Fri Nov 25, 2011 2:33 am

Was I to give thanks... I guess its sleeping with the enemy.. The people that helped create my Dissociate disorder are a disorder. Nothing knew under the son. Its just that they don't stop. their not friends of mine, even if they are family. Their not family really. They've turned into scum bags. They seem to think their better then I am. They are simply getting away with it. Yet I prayed and got a meal out of it. It almost cost me my integrity. I wasn't alone . I have an older brother that tried really hard to fit in.. he doesn't understand, its all a joke. Just sick people making him perform like a monkey. Their unethical. Yet, they have privilege.

I use the term privilege. Those that are privileged not to have problems. Or, problems they have to deal with simply because they function in ways that give them relationships or the access to money on a regular basis. Money that allows them to buy a home , have a family and equate them with God like status to others that aren't so fortunate. I see that they assume they are superior. Yet, I went to Thanks Giving at their house.

First,. If a person appears to think they are better then me or others, Im gone. That is what happened here when I enter the house. I had to re-adjust everything. My PTSD is going off. The Alters in me are beginning to shake, and they tell me to run. Run for my life as they recognize the people that are in that house. These are not friends. They are people that need me to play the weak person role. They are not the kind of people My PTSD personalities need to be around.

They are not better, They are not even in the ball park. yet , I do not force others to except me the way they aught to. They either do, or I stay away from them. I have nothing they want. my personality means nothing to them.

However, I prayed about it,. and God thought it would be a good idea if I went. thought I was ready. I have the kind of relationship with God that I can tell when he's communicating in the real world. I depend on God for my life.

next year, I will save my money and take others out to a nice Brunch. People that will appreciate it. people that appreciate me...

I know the people involved are sick. Yet, they would let me die at a moments notice. They think Im a weakling and a dead beat. nothing more. And that its a tiresome nuisance for me to have to deal with. They see no reason to deal with me because they have it going on. They are Gods, I am one of the follower weaklings in the background that worships the whole idea of them from a distance. Thats what they think. As they think on nothing other then themselves. These people have not figured out , that descent people don't need to tell them their wrong. Decent people don't have to show their goods. If Ive Got the Goods any way. Why do I have to show any one anything. That is what really bugs me.

I went, and I did the following.

I have to remember: These people are controlling. They think they have a right to run the world and control everyone under them. They assume their are better people.

I hunkered down on the couch in the living room of their home. next. I prayed, and got paper and pencil and begin to write.
Next, I prayed, next I went outside and on my knees and prayed.
Next, Into one of their rooms and prayed.
I left the table every 5 to 10 minutes to pray on my knees in a privet place.
Then I went outside and stayed outside and left. unfortunately I had to see some of these people before I left.
I will not associate with people that pull that middle class slop on me. I don't have time for that stupidity. neither do the dying in this land who need help..

Dissociative Disorder
CPTSD
AVPD; Social avoidance
Previous/Psychotic clinical Depression
agoraphobia
obsessive/compulsive disorder
Evolution didn't stop my death, God did .....Now what?
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