Im dealing with rude idiots.. I have to trust God. I have no life! Its slowly heading upward. Im trying to heal; thats what counts.
When I got involved in the fellowships, I took on the responsibility that allot of people are arrogant and rude and sick! and something they attack outside the rooms. They attack in the public. Or they act like they own the place, or they own me! These are the problems associated with ignorant arrogant stupid people! I must learn to stay clear of them! stay away and look at their limitations.
The girl I like doesn't like me! I think she likes the things I say, she takes what she likes and leaves the rest, and hangs out with other guys and could careless if she ever sees me again. And I have to learn to accept this and get used to it! not run from it! Its hard. Its like torture.. But thats the kind of people Im getting involved with! I have to learn the hard way! I will never see this person again! Even if the person is in the same meetings; it doesn't matter! 40 feet in distance is as good as 4000 miles in a situation like this.
Its hard when you care about the other person, and you read them wrong! Something is empty about them.
I have to learn to trust God and not care if I ever see her again. And this is a big big problem. I must take this to God, keep writing and keep working on stuff.
Im attempting to get my life back! its hard, it hurts, others block me!
Im Learning. However, Im alone! people have used me for there own benefit! Now Im getting the back lash as I get better, because I no longer need them. They are being left at the way side, and they would still like the comfort as if controlling me!
They are stupid! and that is the first red flag or stop sign. Get away from " stupid" you can never win! don't talk to them any more! say nothing to them...
SO, I continue with my meetings, and continue to work on self. I should do step work and keep going.
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The goal is to return to sanity; And this is hard! The first thing I need to learn; who are my friends and who are not. I would say the people on line where I write allot of blogs are my friends. Not so much this site but others..
Online people are cool. The locals I deal with are not cool. They are stuck up and closed. Meaning, they shut there doors in your face. It turns you into a drifter.. Its horrible; its to bad.
I was turned into a drifter, and Im trying to stop the process. They tried to turn me into a drifter. I was abandon permanently...
They tried to run me out of town! I was completely displaced permanently...
Im slowly making my way back to reality... With out there help. I have allot of practicing to do!
Im not out of the woods. I have allot to work on. I don't have friends.. not real ones. I have jokers that have contempt for me. And this is a big red flag.
The goal is relationships, and activities...
The activities are the arts.... and my participation in the arts....
relationships; dating!
and so much more I could talk about!