Our partner

User avatar
OMNICELL
Consumer 6
Consumer 6
 
Posts: 1035
Joined: Tue Nov 15, 2011 5:06 am
Blog: View Blog (1025)
Archives
- November 2019
Social skills improving
   Thu Nov 07, 2019 12:51 am
My goal is to work through adolescence.
   Fri Nov 01, 2019 9:16 pm

+ October 2019
+ September 2019
+ August 2019
+ July 2019
+ June 2019
+ May 2019
+ April 2019
+ March 2019
+ February 2019
+ January 2019
+ December 2018
+ November 2018
+ October 2018
+ September 2018
+ August 2018
+ July 2018
+ June 2018
+ May 2018
+ April 2018
+ March 2018
+ February 2018
+ January 2018
+ December 2017
+ November 2017
+ October 2017
+ September 2017
+ August 2017
+ July 2017
+ June 2017
+ May 2017
+ April 2017
+ March 2017
+ February 2017
+ January 2017
+ December 2016
+ November 2016
+ September 2016
+ August 2016
+ July 2016
+ June 2016
+ May 2016
+ April 2016
+ March 2016
+ February 2016
+ January 2016
+ December 2015
+ November 2015
+ October 2015
+ September 2015
+ August 2015
+ April 2015
+ March 2015
+ February 2015
+ January 2015
+ December 2014
+ November 2014
+ October 2014
+ September 2014
+ August 2014
+ July 2014
+ June 2014
+ May 2014
+ April 2014
+ March 2014
+ February 2014
+ January 2014
+ December 2013
+ November 2013
+ October 2013
+ September 2013
+ August 2013
+ July 2013
+ June 2013
+ May 2013
+ April 2013
+ March 2013
+ February 2013
+ January 2013
+ December 2012
+ November 2012
+ October 2012
+ September 2012
+ August 2012
+ July 2012
+ June 2012
+ May 2012
+ April 2012
+ March 2012
+ February 2012
+ January 2012
+ December 2011
+ November 2011
Search Blogs

survival

Permanent Linkby OMNICELL on Tue Jun 24, 2014 6:01 am

Now what? I head slowly onward. I don't work; not yet! Possibly volunteer somewhere; maybe. It has to be something of integrity or Im not getting involved.

Deeper part of my mind is ruptured; and it is this part and because of this that I see God, and see Gods light, for I cannot see the world, my mind has been ruptured.

Im not the pure helper type. Im not a girl; no disrespect! Im a man! and I am a leader! Im not interested in leading the wrong group of men! Im not interested in leading anything! I just want to lead myself and trust God and stay away from everyone else.

I need help! Tonight a person was talking about; If you don't go after your dream or hour hearts desire, you are committing spiritual suicide. And I can attest to this idea of of committing spiritual suicide. Ive committed this suicide many times.

So, who am I and who am I suppose to be; Im not sure! I will have to inventory this. I have to trust God and keep working with God.



I need to heal up. I get low ball attacks all day long from one direction to the other. IT never stops. ITs complete hatred and contempt. Im not strong enough to withstand stuff.

--------------
Had an interesting experience with a women today! She is a beautiful young women that floored me. I am deeply attracted to her! so much, that it stunned me! my first wish is to never see her again or be in the same building. for 6 months Ive been dealing with her at different times, Ive hated it. And I can see she is uncomfortable with my immaturity. She does not know me personally, and does not want to know me!
Today, I had to confront her face to face. usually I ignore her! I will not look at her close up! Today I had to stand my ground and look at her! Its was truly horrible. It was despicable. But I am learning about the social world; not everyone likes me or respects me or honers me or cares. Not everyone values me or wants to!
I had to stand in front of a very beautiful women, face to face, and see her eyes! she was uncomfortable being this close to me! I was uncomfortable being close to her! She is not attracted to me and wanted to move me along. She was friendly and polite and nothing more!

It felt good to face her. Possibly in the future it will make it easier to face her again and not blame her for my feelings.
I was so attracted to her that it was none of her business and none of mine. And it was wrong to show any of this to someone in a business situation that was doing there job. So, I had my hands full dealing with this personal situation.

But today, I dealt with the worst of it. And Im getting used to her and her face! It just scared me, she was so pretty and deeply beautiful; and I was so bashful and uncomfortable. And today I was forced to face these characteristics of self.

And I think this was a God thing! And it may be easier to talk to pretty girls; easter then before!

Im mad, but its Ok. She does not have to be attracted to me, and she is still nice. ITs an interesting situation. And Im getting used to it! or used to looking at her pretty smiling face without freaking out! Im being forced close up to look at her!

-------------------------------
Being myself. I seem to think I have it going on! But I have to go back to the regular rules again! How many people have I asked out! How much real practice with conversations. I have been saying hello! At some point it moves to the next level.

So, I have to get my priorities strait once more! get grounded again and start over.

Dissociative Disorder
CPTSD
AVPD; Social avoidance
Previous/Psychotic clinical Depression
agoraphobia
obsessive/compulsive disorder
Evolution didn't stop my death, God did .....Now what?
0 Comments Viewed 9533 times

Who is online

Registered users: Allcoulors, Bing [Bot], covertunsure, Devi777, everyone23, FreshGuy, Google [Bot], Google Adsense [Bot], Google Feedfetcher, Jonna, Majestic-12 [Bot], Midnight1, MSN [Bot], paul1187, Riccola, Sarandipity, Wally58, Zor