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OMNICELL
Consumer 6
Consumer 6
 
Posts: 1033
Joined: Tue Nov 15, 2011 5:06 am
Blog: View Blog (914)
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- June 2019
1966 and 50 years later; or 50 years to late?
   Mon Jun 24, 2019 4:29 am
Coping with what has happened to me in this life
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Visualizations
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Talents and development
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Money and women
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women and shame
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Music creating; blocked
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Im getting very close
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Its hard when you were never loved.
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Things are changing
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Cant finish anything I start; cant get started
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Social isolation; social uphill climb
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Feeling better inside
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Money
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An interest in the arts
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Social
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intimacy 2
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intimacy
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Identity overwhelmed
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re changing the present
   Wed Jun 12, 2019 3:45 pm
Working out of it; the struggle continues
   Tue Jun 11, 2019 4:14 pm
A new segment of life
   Tue Jun 11, 2019 1:07 am
dealing with life from zero to 18
   Mon Jun 10, 2019 8:13 pm
Connecting to things in the real world
   Mon Jun 10, 2019 11:53 am
Things are changing
   Mon Jun 10, 2019 4:43 am
I have to believe more
   Sat Jun 08, 2019 10:24 pm
liking myself and dating
   Thu Jun 06, 2019 8:46 pm
Dissociation
   Thu Jun 06, 2019 4:58 pm
Love
   Tue Jun 04, 2019 11:05 pm
Purpose
   Tue Jun 04, 2019 7:27 pm
Happiness
   Tue Jun 04, 2019 11:04 am
bulling and meditation and connection and...
   Sun Jun 02, 2019 8:03 pm
Bulling and meditation and connection and...
   Sun Jun 02, 2019 5:57 am
Childhood reconnection;
   Sat Jun 01, 2019 4:26 pm

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Stupid reputations...

Permanent Linkby OMNICELL on Sun Sep 02, 2012 10:36 pm

I was just miffed because I wanted to send a message to someone about a little girl..

I have no reputation in my meetings.. nothing... I am hated by the women because I don't give them the time of day... they think they have it going on..

Women like a man to have status... these women are not smart enough to understand that I have status... They cant put 2 and 2 together that I need not show them any status... I have it ... I don't care if they know that I have it... Therefore, I act as if I have none... I learned a lesson today...

Im praying for a little girl in my meetings that Im worried about... However, no one in the meetings knows this... No one in the meetings knows me... not the real me... Or that I would pray for children or anyone else...

The lesson:

I found out the girls mom is Ok; she has not been to meetings for awhile... I talked to the mothers spencer and let her know that I was thinking about the little girl and concerned about her.... However, the sponsor looked at me like Im a good for nothing predator with no status that aught to mind his own business. That Im unsafe and everyone knows it... And that I am a weakling that is scared of everyone and not to be taken seriously.... In no way did I have permission to think about this mother or her child as I am not of the quality to do so...

Here is the problem...

No one knows me... I have no credibility at these meetings with many people.. Some of the people are to stupid: Im not safe according to these people.. They make up stuff about people... If your on the negative end of the stick then your sunk... Im on the negative end of the stick with many women in the meetings because they are arrogant and stupid... Not all =!

With the women, My reputation is shot... They think Im a weakling... And should not be trusted... Im certainly no one to know or confide in... Contempt is the best word to describe what others think of me... Not everyone... They think they are better them me, that Im a scuffler shiftless weakling...

I let the sponsor know that I am praying for the mother and the child...

Im learned that I cannot walk up to someone and tell them how I feel about someone else in the meeting without having status... I need status to talk about others people at the meetings, even if its innocent concern...

This thing may backfire in my face....

I have to remember the meetings Im going to.... This is a rough crowd of people...

At-least I took a chance....

Dissociative Disorder
CPTSD
AVPD; Social avoidance
Previous/Psychotic clinical Depression
agoraphobia
obsessive/compulsive disorder
Evolution didn't stop my death, God did .....Now what?
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