Our partner

User avatar
OMNICELL
Consumer 6
Consumer 6
 
Posts: 1035
Joined: Tue Nov 15, 2011 5:06 am
Blog: View Blog (951)
Archives
- July 2019
A place exists
   Fri Jul 19, 2019 11:21 pm
Things are changing again
   Fri Jul 19, 2019 3:41 pm
Things are heating up; Im now backing down
   Fri Jul 19, 2019 9:06 am
I have CPTSD
   Wed Jul 17, 2019 4:47 pm
Real changes are occurring
   Tue Jul 16, 2019 10:46 am
Coming back into the present
   Tue Jul 16, 2019 2:32 am
Im extremely frustrated
   Mon Jul 15, 2019 11:14 pm
Fining myself or facing myself
   Mon Jul 15, 2019 8:39 pm
Im beginning to understand
   Sun Jul 14, 2019 3:30 pm
Visualizing
   Fri Jul 12, 2019 8:28 pm
Starting from the beginning
   Fri Jul 12, 2019 3:35 pm
The trap house part 2
   Fri Jul 12, 2019 3:13 pm
The trap house; I only knew about; In the end I win
   Fri Jul 12, 2019 1:15 am
Massive Mega paradigm shift
   Thu Jul 11, 2019 3:01 pm
First post recovery conversation
   Wed Jul 10, 2019 9:55 pm
Dating and Art
   Wed Jul 10, 2019 4:44 pm
movement
   Tue Jul 09, 2019 5:56 pm
childhood abandonment
   Mon Jul 08, 2019 3:23 pm
Being single
   Mon Jul 08, 2019 3:53 am
Preview: PTSD; High School
   Sat Jul 06, 2019 10:31 pm
Fear
   Sat Jul 06, 2019 4:34 pm
Ive found some answers
   Sat Jul 06, 2019 12:41 pm
D.I.D; let me introduce myself
   Sat Jul 06, 2019 12:23 pm
PTSD; dealing with triggers.
   Fri Jul 05, 2019 5:32 am
Making me into a loser; its all about the critical voice
   Thu Jul 04, 2019 6:08 pm
Molding sound like clay; having reasons; Things are changing
   Wed Jul 03, 2019 4:25 pm
critical voice
   Wed Jul 03, 2019 6:38 am
Toxic shame
   Tue Jul 02, 2019 11:05 pm
Ive found some answers
   Tue Jul 02, 2019 7:59 am

+ June 2019
+ May 2019
+ April 2019
+ March 2019
+ February 2019
+ January 2019
+ December 2018
+ November 2018
+ October 2018
+ September 2018
+ August 2018
+ July 2018
+ June 2018
+ May 2018
+ April 2018
+ March 2018
+ February 2018
+ January 2018
+ December 2017
+ November 2017
+ October 2017
+ September 2017
+ August 2017
+ July 2017
+ June 2017
+ May 2017
+ April 2017
+ March 2017
+ February 2017
+ January 2017
+ December 2016
+ November 2016
+ September 2016
+ August 2016
+ July 2016
+ June 2016
+ May 2016
+ April 2016
+ March 2016
+ February 2016
+ January 2016
+ December 2015
+ November 2015
+ October 2015
+ September 2015
+ August 2015
+ April 2015
+ March 2015
+ February 2015
+ January 2015
+ December 2014
+ November 2014
+ October 2014
+ September 2014
+ August 2014
+ July 2014
+ June 2014
+ May 2014
+ April 2014
+ March 2014
+ February 2014
+ January 2014
+ December 2013
+ November 2013
+ October 2013
+ September 2013
+ August 2013
+ July 2013
+ June 2013
+ May 2013
+ April 2013
+ March 2013
+ February 2013
+ January 2013
+ December 2012
+ November 2012
+ October 2012
+ September 2012
+ August 2012
+ July 2012
+ June 2012
+ May 2012
+ April 2012
+ March 2012
+ February 2012
+ January 2012
+ December 2011
+ November 2011
Search Blogs

Stuck in a holding pattern of hatred and contempt and fear

Permanent Linkby OMNICELL on Sun Dec 30, 2018 12:28 pm

ITs a state of indignation! Thats how it feels! I must move beyond this period! Im in a new season of development; and its hard to stick with it! Im stuck in a maze encircling. I have no strong point or future! meaning, Im not working toward a career, and I don't have a family!
.
Im loosing my dam teeth; this does not help!
.
Im working with the laws of attraction! Im stuck! I have abuse from my past! I was control and destroyed out of having any future! Im trying to change this now! its very hard! Ive never had anyone on my side; ever! no one! No one accept one girl when I was 14; that was all! no one else!
.
I don't trust anyone!
.
Im trying to understand!
.
I want what anyone wants; a life! Im trying to change my thoughts to fit in to something! anything!
.
I would be nice to have comrade of the same tribe; anyone; anywhere! knowing where I fit in! what Im suppose to do with my life!
.
I have to keep working with the universe!
.
The goal is to keep positive! learn how to have positive thoughts!
.
I dont like being broke!
.
The key is to keep goals and believe in them; Im having a hard time believing in anything accept civil war!
.
Im dislocated and de franchised and all alone!
.
Im not around any women to date! I feel dislocated; I feel desolate!
.
I feel apart of nothing! Im with God but nothing on earth!
.
The key is a change of thinking! Allot of my thinking is ran from the past that is no more! Im trying to regain the past and its not possible! the past is where I hide because the present is to high a price to live! no gains; not worth it! I would rather sleep all day long!
.
I would rather sleep all day long and get fat then do anything! The question; how to stop this apathetic condition!
.
I attract women; Im not around any places to attract any women Im interested in! Im scared to death of the lack of money that I have; the limited amount concerning attracting women!
.
Im interested in a more intellectual group! However, what power or money do I have to attract such people! Im left in a state of fright!
.
My life was pulled out from underneath me when young by psychopaths/sociopaths! I would like to change this; change back into someone who is productive; and thats what Im trying to work toward!
.
im attempting to work with the universe on this; I know its a thinking game! I see the futile thoughts within my mind; this simply cannot run my life anymore! However, I do not have any thoughts to replace the old ones!
.
ive tried to think about doing new things! I always get caught in the old thoughts coming back and taking over!
.
The goal is new stories! I have to keep at it until the old ones are gone!
.
Some of these old stories i long for; its all the stability I have! I have nothing else!
.
So; I have to create something new!
.
As for women; No one around Im interested in! Nothing!
.
Women; women are about networking! I dont feel good enough! I feel like Im going to be compromised! I dont trust women! well; I dont trust anyone!
.
Is their hope! yes; its in my thoughts; I have to get to the point that I dont want these negative thoughts or self defeating thoughts concerning my future! I want them gone and new ones put in their place! I have a lot of fear thoughts from the past; hard to face; that is the problem! its horrible nightmare to face them and move on!
.

Dissociative Disorder
CPTSD
AVPD; Social avoidance
Previous/Psychotic clinical Depression
agoraphobia
obsessive/compulsive disorder
Evolution didn't stop my death, God did .....Now what?
0 Comments Viewed 937 times

Who is online

Registered users: Allcoulors, Baidu [Spider], Bing [Bot], birdsong87, Exabot [Bot], Google [Bot], Google Adsense [Bot], Google Feedfetcher, Jomama, Riccola, Robert1971, Scarlett5