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OMNICELL
Consumer 6
Consumer 6
 
Posts: 1031
Joined: Tue Nov 15, 2011 5:06 am
Blog: View Blog (902)
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- June 2019
An interest in the arts
   Tue Jun 18, 2019 9:39 am
Social
   Mon Jun 17, 2019 10:32 pm
intimacy 2
   Mon Jun 17, 2019 4:02 pm
intimacy
   Mon Jun 17, 2019 10:51 am
Identity overwhelmed
   Sun Jun 16, 2019 10:22 am
re changing the present
   Wed Jun 12, 2019 3:45 pm
Working out of it; the struggle continues
   Tue Jun 11, 2019 4:14 pm
A new segment of life
   Tue Jun 11, 2019 1:07 am
dealing with life from zero to 18
   Mon Jun 10, 2019 8:13 pm
Connecting to things in the real world
   Mon Jun 10, 2019 11:53 am
Things are changing
   Mon Jun 10, 2019 4:43 am
I have to believe more
   Sat Jun 08, 2019 10:24 pm
liking myself and dating
   Thu Jun 06, 2019 8:46 pm
Dissociation
   Thu Jun 06, 2019 4:58 pm
Love
   Tue Jun 04, 2019 11:05 pm
Purpose
   Tue Jun 04, 2019 7:27 pm
Happiness
   Tue Jun 04, 2019 11:04 am
bulling and meditation and connection and...
   Sun Jun 02, 2019 8:03 pm
Bulling and meditation and connection and...
   Sun Jun 02, 2019 5:57 am
Childhood reconnection;
   Sat Jun 01, 2019 4:26 pm

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strange how things Go...

Permanent Linkby OMNICELL on Mon Jan 07, 2013 9:42 am

time to move on... move on to other people. I didn't want to.. I mean!, Im not a sociopath... I have feelings. Yet, God is slowly teaching me how to play catch up in the relationship world. Its all new, and Im at ground zero. Ive been around people that are interested in me, yet they have an agenda... I guess I didn't or could not keep up with that agenda... I was not asked why I acted the way I did , and for that long period of time. I was simply let go and replaced. And Im wondering if I was really ever apart of anything or was it all in my mind..

God has allowed and given me skills to slowly seek the experimentation of interacting with people. Possible in the short future I can start to interact to make friends; People I can call.

IT will slowly develop. Im going to have to turn to God allot as so many people are players trying to deceive others. I get deceived all the time. Anytime I step out of my apartment I get deceived. The world is the great deceiver.. Its dangerous out here. Many children die from this place.

Im all alone now with God..

My original family system and relatives; all sociopaths... Not all. All from my original family system, unbelievable.

As I get better, I pray for friends.. or a new way of life that is possible. Im really wanting to leave the area I am at. I want to start over somewhere. Ive done the work here at this location that has helped to bring me back. I have a long way to go..

The gaol right now is to get to know God, keep going, get my apartment and clothing clean and in order and manageable.

Keep working on the practice of social approach and interaction.. Im the type that needs to become an exert at such things.

I will keep going to my morning meetings. The other meetings are finished.. They are full of sociopaths and vampires and nothing else. Ive tired of them... they kept me alive all these years that I get the help I need. I was never understood or liked it seemed... I may have been respected by some.. yet,,, Hmmmm...

Im in a hard place right now. I need my recovery rooms right now, and I don't have them. I will have to pray and keep working on it!. Possibly in another city... I don't know.. economics are so hard right now.. not really the issue... Im not sure what Im looking for. Ill have to trust God.

I can see myself slowly cleaning everything up, and getting better. I really want to get better and get out of here. and never come back...

Im mad that I don't have my meetings anymore, I needed a safe place to go. I don't have one now.. I must find other places...

I need to feel safe and keep letting my feelings out until I can feel like Im here now... I need my strength back.... I need to return to myself. It is slowly happening. I have remember to keep trusting God.

Dissociative Disorder
CPTSD
AVPD; Social avoidance
Previous/Psychotic clinical Depression
agoraphobia
obsessive/compulsive disorder
Evolution didn't stop my death, God did .....Now what?
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