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OMNICELL
Consumer 6
Consumer 6
 
Posts: 1035
Joined: Tue Nov 15, 2011 5:06 am
Blog: View Blog (957)
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- July 2019
Things continue to change
   Sun Jul 21, 2019 10:53 pm
the strange world of getting better did
   Sun Jul 21, 2019 4:36 pm
This is not going to be easy.
   Sun Jul 21, 2019 10:47 am
Identity 101; so; it officinally begins; the rebuilding
   Sun Jul 21, 2019 2:25 am
Something positive is happening
   Sat Jul 20, 2019 11:54 pm
The Beatles
   Sat Jul 20, 2019 6:04 am
A place exists
   Fri Jul 19, 2019 11:21 pm
Things are changing again
   Fri Jul 19, 2019 3:41 pm
Things are heating up; Im now backing down
   Fri Jul 19, 2019 9:06 am
I have CPTSD
   Wed Jul 17, 2019 4:47 pm
Real changes are occurring
   Tue Jul 16, 2019 10:46 am
Coming back into the present
   Tue Jul 16, 2019 2:32 am
Im extremely frustrated
   Mon Jul 15, 2019 11:14 pm
Fining myself or facing myself
   Mon Jul 15, 2019 8:39 pm
Im beginning to understand
   Sun Jul 14, 2019 3:30 pm
Visualizing
   Fri Jul 12, 2019 8:28 pm
Starting from the beginning
   Fri Jul 12, 2019 3:35 pm
The trap house part 2
   Fri Jul 12, 2019 3:13 pm
The trap house; I only knew about; In the end I win
   Fri Jul 12, 2019 1:15 am
Massive Mega paradigm shift
   Thu Jul 11, 2019 3:01 pm
First post recovery conversation
   Wed Jul 10, 2019 9:55 pm
Dating and Art
   Wed Jul 10, 2019 4:44 pm
movement
   Tue Jul 09, 2019 5:56 pm
childhood abandonment
   Mon Jul 08, 2019 3:23 pm
Being single
   Mon Jul 08, 2019 3:53 am
Preview: PTSD; High School
   Sat Jul 06, 2019 10:31 pm
Fear
   Sat Jul 06, 2019 4:34 pm
Ive found some answers
   Sat Jul 06, 2019 12:41 pm
D.I.D; let me introduce myself
   Sat Jul 06, 2019 12:23 pm
PTSD; dealing with triggers.
   Fri Jul 05, 2019 5:32 am
Making me into a loser; its all about the critical voice
   Thu Jul 04, 2019 6:08 pm
Molding sound like clay; having reasons; Things are changing
   Wed Jul 03, 2019 4:25 pm
critical voice
   Wed Jul 03, 2019 6:38 am
Toxic shame
   Tue Jul 02, 2019 11:05 pm
Ive found some answers
   Tue Jul 02, 2019 7:59 am

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strange how things Go...

Permanent Linkby OMNICELL on Mon Jan 07, 2013 9:42 am

time to move on... move on to other people. I didn't want to.. I mean!, Im not a sociopath... I have feelings. Yet, God is slowly teaching me how to play catch up in the relationship world. Its all new, and Im at ground zero. Ive been around people that are interested in me, yet they have an agenda... I guess I didn't or could not keep up with that agenda... I was not asked why I acted the way I did , and for that long period of time. I was simply let go and replaced. And Im wondering if I was really ever apart of anything or was it all in my mind..

God has allowed and given me skills to slowly seek the experimentation of interacting with people. Possible in the short future I can start to interact to make friends; People I can call.

IT will slowly develop. Im going to have to turn to God allot as so many people are players trying to deceive others. I get deceived all the time. Anytime I step out of my apartment I get deceived. The world is the great deceiver.. Its dangerous out here. Many children die from this place.

Im all alone now with God..

My original family system and relatives; all sociopaths... Not all. All from my original family system, unbelievable.

As I get better, I pray for friends.. or a new way of life that is possible. Im really wanting to leave the area I am at. I want to start over somewhere. Ive done the work here at this location that has helped to bring me back. I have a long way to go..

The gaol right now is to get to know God, keep going, get my apartment and clothing clean and in order and manageable.

Keep working on the practice of social approach and interaction.. Im the type that needs to become an exert at such things.

I will keep going to my morning meetings. The other meetings are finished.. They are full of sociopaths and vampires and nothing else. Ive tired of them... they kept me alive all these years that I get the help I need. I was never understood or liked it seemed... I may have been respected by some.. yet,,, Hmmmm...

Im in a hard place right now. I need my recovery rooms right now, and I don't have them. I will have to pray and keep working on it!. Possibly in another city... I don't know.. economics are so hard right now.. not really the issue... Im not sure what Im looking for. Ill have to trust God.

I can see myself slowly cleaning everything up, and getting better. I really want to get better and get out of here. and never come back...

Im mad that I don't have my meetings anymore, I needed a safe place to go. I don't have one now.. I must find other places...

I need to feel safe and keep letting my feelings out until I can feel like Im here now... I need my strength back.... I need to return to myself. It is slowly happening. I have remember to keep trusting God.

Dissociative Disorder
CPTSD
AVPD; Social avoidance
Previous/Psychotic clinical Depression
agoraphobia
obsessive/compulsive disorder
Evolution didn't stop my death, God did .....Now what?
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