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OMNICELL
Consumer 6
Consumer 6
 
Posts: 1035
Joined: Tue Nov 15, 2011 5:06 am
Blog: View Blog (1009)
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- August 2019
Finding my voice
   Tue Aug 20, 2019 4:47 pm
Three important conversations with women
   Tue Aug 20, 2019 1:39 am
I letting socioapths attack me again; abuse me; feel demoralized
   Mon Aug 19, 2019 11:23 am
Mellowing; and idea of exploring the entrances to the gap...
   Mon Aug 19, 2019 1:20 am
A house and a backyard and 4 walls and a hobby
   Sun Aug 18, 2019 1:09 am
moving into know mans land (positive); and then through
   Fri Aug 16, 2019 9:41 pm
The Gap
   Wed Aug 14, 2019 8:37 pm
Teenage years
   Wed Aug 14, 2019 2:25 am
finding and painting rocks
   Tue Aug 13, 2019 5:14 pm
Expressing my feelings
   Tue Aug 13, 2019 3:26 pm
I know Ive never met any women to date ever....
   Tue Aug 13, 2019 11:02 am
Being alone all of my life with out women or a relationship
   Tue Aug 13, 2019 10:16 am
The wright brothers created plaines; Im creating my new life
   Tue Aug 13, 2019 8:41 am
A new era is starting; But Ive got problems
   Mon Aug 12, 2019 12:19 pm
Signs of the end is here; and a new era starting
   Sun Aug 11, 2019 6:13 pm
Trapped between 2 worlds
   Sun Aug 11, 2019 3:23 pm
Things are getting better; Im still fat; I got a problem
   Fri Aug 09, 2019 11:38 pm
Women have defeated me? and I feel deated? #1
   Fri Aug 09, 2019 6:45 am
Plans from the universe; they have cometh
   Wed Aug 07, 2019 4:39 pm
breaking things and coming together
   Wed Aug 07, 2019 11:44 am
What am I thinking about
   Wed Aug 07, 2019 4:16 am
That breaking point
   Tue Aug 06, 2019 8:45 pm
Needing my mothers permission
   Tue Aug 06, 2019 5:47 pm
And another day
   Tue Aug 06, 2019 5:03 pm
Im so right in the middle of the promises
   Tue Aug 06, 2019 4:35 pm
whats missing with music; live playing
   Mon Aug 05, 2019 11:22 pm
Women and John Denver
   Sun Aug 04, 2019 11:33 pm
Bulling
   Sun Aug 04, 2019 1:33 am
art images coming back and other things; taking action
   Sat Aug 03, 2019 8:35 pm
I wasn't suppose to break the my first girls heart....
   Sat Aug 03, 2019 12:47 pm
Take my mother out of the picture; what do I get.
   Fri Aug 02, 2019 11:47 pm
Where am at right now.
   Thu Aug 01, 2019 11:30 am

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strange how things Go...

Permanent Linkby OMNICELL on Mon Jan 07, 2013 9:42 am

time to move on... move on to other people. I didn't want to.. I mean!, Im not a sociopath... I have feelings. Yet, God is slowly teaching me how to play catch up in the relationship world. Its all new, and Im at ground zero. Ive been around people that are interested in me, yet they have an agenda... I guess I didn't or could not keep up with that agenda... I was not asked why I acted the way I did , and for that long period of time. I was simply let go and replaced. And Im wondering if I was really ever apart of anything or was it all in my mind..

God has allowed and given me skills to slowly seek the experimentation of interacting with people. Possible in the short future I can start to interact to make friends; People I can call.

IT will slowly develop. Im going to have to turn to God allot as so many people are players trying to deceive others. I get deceived all the time. Anytime I step out of my apartment I get deceived. The world is the great deceiver.. Its dangerous out here. Many children die from this place.

Im all alone now with God..

My original family system and relatives; all sociopaths... Not all. All from my original family system, unbelievable.

As I get better, I pray for friends.. or a new way of life that is possible. Im really wanting to leave the area I am at. I want to start over somewhere. Ive done the work here at this location that has helped to bring me back. I have a long way to go..

The gaol right now is to get to know God, keep going, get my apartment and clothing clean and in order and manageable.

Keep working on the practice of social approach and interaction.. Im the type that needs to become an exert at such things.

I will keep going to my morning meetings. The other meetings are finished.. They are full of sociopaths and vampires and nothing else. Ive tired of them... they kept me alive all these years that I get the help I need. I was never understood or liked it seemed... I may have been respected by some.. yet,,, Hmmmm...

Im in a hard place right now. I need my recovery rooms right now, and I don't have them. I will have to pray and keep working on it!. Possibly in another city... I don't know.. economics are so hard right now.. not really the issue... Im not sure what Im looking for. Ill have to trust God.

I can see myself slowly cleaning everything up, and getting better. I really want to get better and get out of here. and never come back...

Im mad that I don't have my meetings anymore, I needed a safe place to go. I don't have one now.. I must find other places...

I need to feel safe and keep letting my feelings out until I can feel like Im here now... I need my strength back.... I need to return to myself. It is slowly happening. I have remember to keep trusting God.

Dissociative Disorder
CPTSD
AVPD; Social avoidance
Previous/Psychotic clinical Depression
agoraphobia
obsessive/compulsive disorder
Evolution didn't stop my death, God did .....Now what?
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