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Consumer 6
Consumer 6
Posts: 1036
Joined: Tue Nov 15, 2011 5:06 am
Blog: View Blog (1145)
- January 2021
The social; or new social begins
   Fri Jan 22, 2021 11:41 pm
I cant be friends with women
   Fri Jan 22, 2021 9:51 am
friendships... Is that what women wanted?
   Fri Jan 22, 2021 1:30 am
Problems with women I guess? My problems ?
   Thu Jan 21, 2021 10:44 pm
Stuff about sex; and not allowing sex
   Thu Jan 21, 2021 8:48 pm
Connecting the 2 halves
   Thu Jan 21, 2021 6:00 am
Now Im starting to get it
   Thu Jan 21, 2021 3:35 am
I could not compete because of my avoidant behavior
   Tue Jan 19, 2021 4:48 am
keep working at it
   Mon Jan 18, 2021 4:17 am
Wake up! Trying to become present
   Sun Jan 17, 2021 7:48 am
Planning life as an AVPD
   Sat Jan 16, 2021 7:24 am
Another break through
   Fri Jan 15, 2021 4:51 am
bulling and apologizing
   Thu Jan 14, 2021 9:17 pm
My work; to get up close in my imagination
   Thu Jan 14, 2021 7:17 am
Get right with God; God is saying
   Thu Jan 14, 2021 1:02 am
The message about the sociopath
   Sat Jan 09, 2021 2:24 pm
Moving forward
   Sat Jan 09, 2021 4:53 am
Beginning to move forward
   Fri Jan 08, 2021 5:11 pm
Im alone again; things are changing.
   Thu Jan 07, 2021 10:17 am

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Still need work; keep digging in! Trust God....

Permanent Linkby OMNICELL on Wed Jan 15, 2014 2:20 am

Im dealing with an intrusive person; Its not working. Everything is fine until this person gets involved with me.. she implants the "What IF" Statements about everything, creating fear and doubt. She is what I call a sociopathic performer; these are middle to upper middle class types that worship how people look, or what they eat, or the care, or how much money you have. At depth, they have contempt for the poor. They like to lord it over everyone! Who they know is most important. They create stress in other peoples lives... They hate with a smile. They are manipulators to get what they won't; yet they claim to be honest! They are of the devil!

I just received a phone call from this women, telling me my account might be over drawn. Big F#cking deal! Ill fix it in the morning! Its my business. This person acts like its their business.. They are not on my side. They are injecting poison into my life. They are words of death, not words of life. They take no responsibility for any human thing. They have no real integrity; scary people.

As I get better, Im getting less tolerant of these people. I get guilt and shame from every word out of their mouth.. Its judgment city. They actually think I need them to think for me! Its horrible and sickening. I do need their service. However, I might switch to another person. This person scares me! she is to personal where she should be un-personal, and to impersonal where she should be a human being. ITs sickening. I have to see this for what it is, and remember to stay away from her! and live life without the manipulation. I feel like Im under her thumb.

I am easily manipulated by this person, because I believed her in the beginning.... I have to stop believing this person. This thing has no soul. She is pure evil. I will talk to God for help! For some reason, I won't let go! I feel safe with an evil person. I think this is a rematch between me and my mother from Yesteryear! I have God. I love God. I am addicted to satanic people! F#ck!

When this person calls me, she tells me terrifying news, or implied terrifying news... Its meant to cause stress and trouble. This person (some how) is in my business again... the way the person talks or stalks me gives me the creeps; a feeling of anxiety and panic! As if the person is spreading rummers, telling me about someone else that is talking about someone else that is talking about me! This person is not a friend of mine. Im using the rummer thing as a philosophical example!

It will take time to get rid of people like this. They knew I can't get rid of them; they are taking advantage of it! This is a sociopath; the kind that is described in the video " the sociopath next door" They cause problems, because they have contempt and no human expression. They want to manipulate and be in control. They are Godless.... They know how to dig in to the weakest area of a person: that is what they are looking for! And this happened to me a few moments ago when I answered the phone. The call is a demon call. No matter what direction I go, it feels like someone else is controlling everything, I am under there strings... They are under my skin! And I get frightened. Yet, I need them, and like it? or I feel safe with it. Is this because my mother was like this to me all of my life; possibly! I know I don't have to live this way.

The most important thing to remember about a sociopath is; they are not human! its not personal, and this will never go away! They have contempt with no conscious. The answer is to separate ones self from this situation. You can never win! You must leave them be, and never go around them again!
So the pain, has to get great enough! Then I will leave! Do not blame the other person. Trust God and get out of it!

Tried to contact a person I knew in college; She never returned my email! I never sent her another one. I will prey about it! She is a nice girl!

I need to be around people that care about me!

I need to decide if I care about other people. I will have to prey about this!

I am still a very sick person! I only want to be around loving caring people! I do not want to be around people that judge me to death! or hate me!

I have had people around me that see my worth. I must remember this. I forget about the people that have taken an interest.
Getting close to buying new gear; music stuff. Its been hard. Things need to be different this time. I use electronic keyboards. I break the keys at times, so I have to come up with a different system. Some keyboards are for piano, some for synth stuff. I will not mix these 2 areas..... Hopefully this will help my understanding of things.

Dissociative Disorder
AVPD; Social avoidance
Previous/Psychotic clinical Depression
obsessive/compulsive disorder
Evolution didn't stop my death, God did .....Now what?
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