Our partner

User avatar
OMNICELL
Consumer 6
Consumer 6
 
Posts: 1035
Joined: Tue Nov 15, 2011 5:06 am
Blog: View Blog (1009)
Archives
- August 2019
Finding my voice
   Tue Aug 20, 2019 4:47 pm
Three important conversations with women
   Tue Aug 20, 2019 1:39 am
I letting socioapths attack me again; abuse me; feel demoralized
   Mon Aug 19, 2019 11:23 am
Mellowing; and idea of exploring the entrances to the gap...
   Mon Aug 19, 2019 1:20 am
A house and a backyard and 4 walls and a hobby
   Sun Aug 18, 2019 1:09 am
moving into know mans land (positive); and then through
   Fri Aug 16, 2019 9:41 pm
The Gap
   Wed Aug 14, 2019 8:37 pm
Teenage years
   Wed Aug 14, 2019 2:25 am
finding and painting rocks
   Tue Aug 13, 2019 5:14 pm
Expressing my feelings
   Tue Aug 13, 2019 3:26 pm
I know Ive never met any women to date ever....
   Tue Aug 13, 2019 11:02 am
Being alone all of my life with out women or a relationship
   Tue Aug 13, 2019 10:16 am
The wright brothers created plaines; Im creating my new life
   Tue Aug 13, 2019 8:41 am
A new era is starting; But Ive got problems
   Mon Aug 12, 2019 12:19 pm
Signs of the end is here; and a new era starting
   Sun Aug 11, 2019 6:13 pm
Trapped between 2 worlds
   Sun Aug 11, 2019 3:23 pm
Things are getting better; Im still fat; I got a problem
   Fri Aug 09, 2019 11:38 pm
Women have defeated me? and I feel deated? #1
   Fri Aug 09, 2019 6:45 am
Plans from the universe; they have cometh
   Wed Aug 07, 2019 4:39 pm
breaking things and coming together
   Wed Aug 07, 2019 11:44 am
What am I thinking about
   Wed Aug 07, 2019 4:16 am
That breaking point
   Tue Aug 06, 2019 8:45 pm
Needing my mothers permission
   Tue Aug 06, 2019 5:47 pm
And another day
   Tue Aug 06, 2019 5:03 pm
Im so right in the middle of the promises
   Tue Aug 06, 2019 4:35 pm
whats missing with music; live playing
   Mon Aug 05, 2019 11:22 pm
Women and John Denver
   Sun Aug 04, 2019 11:33 pm
Bulling
   Sun Aug 04, 2019 1:33 am
art images coming back and other things; taking action
   Sat Aug 03, 2019 8:35 pm
I wasn't suppose to break the my first girls heart....
   Sat Aug 03, 2019 12:47 pm
Take my mother out of the picture; what do I get.
   Fri Aug 02, 2019 11:47 pm
Where am at right now.
   Thu Aug 01, 2019 11:30 am

+ July 2019
+ June 2019
+ May 2019
+ April 2019
+ March 2019
+ February 2019
+ January 2019
+ December 2018
+ November 2018
+ October 2018
+ September 2018
+ August 2018
+ July 2018
+ June 2018
+ May 2018
+ April 2018
+ March 2018
+ February 2018
+ January 2018
+ December 2017
+ November 2017
+ October 2017
+ September 2017
+ August 2017
+ July 2017
+ June 2017
+ May 2017
+ April 2017
+ March 2017
+ February 2017
+ January 2017
+ December 2016
+ November 2016
+ September 2016
+ August 2016
+ July 2016
+ June 2016
+ May 2016
+ April 2016
+ March 2016
+ February 2016
+ January 2016
+ December 2015
+ November 2015
+ October 2015
+ September 2015
+ August 2015
+ April 2015
+ March 2015
+ February 2015
+ January 2015
+ December 2014
+ November 2014
+ October 2014
+ September 2014
+ August 2014
+ July 2014
+ June 2014
+ May 2014
+ April 2014
+ March 2014
+ February 2014
+ January 2014
+ December 2013
+ November 2013
+ October 2013
+ September 2013
+ August 2013
+ July 2013
+ June 2013
+ May 2013
+ April 2013
+ March 2013
+ February 2013
+ January 2013
+ December 2012
+ November 2012
+ October 2012
+ September 2012
+ August 2012
+ July 2012
+ June 2012
+ May 2012
+ April 2012
+ March 2012
+ February 2012
+ January 2012
+ December 2011
+ November 2011
Search Blogs

Still need work; keep digging in! Trust God....

Permanent Linkby OMNICELL on Wed Jan 15, 2014 2:20 am

Im dealing with an intrusive person; Its not working. Everything is fine until this person gets involved with me.. she implants the "What IF" Statements about everything, creating fear and doubt. She is what I call a sociopathic performer; these are middle to upper middle class types that worship how people look, or what they eat, or the care, or how much money you have. At depth, they have contempt for the poor. They like to lord it over everyone! Who they know is most important. They create stress in other peoples lives... They hate with a smile. They are manipulators to get what they won't; yet they claim to be honest! They are of the devil!

I just received a phone call from this women, telling me my account might be over drawn. Big F#cking deal! Ill fix it in the morning! Its my business. This person acts like its their business.. They are not on my side. They are injecting poison into my life. They are words of death, not words of life. They take no responsibility for any human thing. They have no real integrity; scary people.

As I get better, Im getting less tolerant of these people. I get guilt and shame from every word out of their mouth.. Its judgment city. They actually think I need them to think for me! Its horrible and sickening. I do need their service. However, I might switch to another person. This person scares me! she is to personal where she should be un-personal, and to impersonal where she should be a human being. ITs sickening. I have to see this for what it is, and remember to stay away from her! and live life without the manipulation. I feel like Im under her thumb.

I am easily manipulated by this person, because I believed her in the beginning.... I have to stop believing this person. This thing has no soul. She is pure evil. I will talk to God for help! For some reason, I won't let go! I feel safe with an evil person. I think this is a rematch between me and my mother from Yesteryear! I have God. I love God. I am addicted to satanic people! F#ck!

When this person calls me, she tells me terrifying news, or implied terrifying news... Its meant to cause stress and trouble. This person (some how) is in my business again... the way the person talks or stalks me gives me the creeps; a feeling of anxiety and panic! As if the person is spreading rummers, telling me about someone else that is talking about someone else that is talking about me! This person is not a friend of mine. Im using the rummer thing as a philosophical example!

It will take time to get rid of people like this. They knew I can't get rid of them; they are taking advantage of it! This is a sociopath; the kind that is described in the video " the sociopath next door" They cause problems, because they have contempt and no human expression. They want to manipulate and be in control. They are Godless.... They know how to dig in to the weakest area of a person: that is what they are looking for! And this happened to me a few moments ago when I answered the phone. The call is a demon call. No matter what direction I go, it feels like someone else is controlling everything, I am under there strings... They are under my skin! And I get frightened. Yet, I need them, and like it? or I feel safe with it. Is this because my mother was like this to me all of my life; possibly! I know I don't have to live this way.



The most important thing to remember about a sociopath is; they are not human! its not personal, and this will never go away! They have contempt with no conscious. The answer is to separate ones self from this situation. You can never win! You must leave them be, and never go around them again!
So the pain, has to get great enough! Then I will leave! Do not blame the other person. Trust God and get out of it!
------

--------------------------------------------------------------
Tried to contact a person I knew in college; She never returned my email! I never sent her another one. I will prey about it! She is a nice girl!

I need to be around people that care about me!

I need to decide if I care about other people. I will have to prey about this!

I am still a very sick person! I only want to be around loving caring people! I do not want to be around people that judge me to death! or hate me!

I have had people around me that see my worth. I must remember this. I forget about the people that have taken an interest.
---
Getting close to buying new gear; music stuff. Its been hard. Things need to be different this time. I use electronic keyboards. I break the keys at times, so I have to come up with a different system. Some keyboards are for piano, some for synth stuff. I will not mix these 2 areas..... Hopefully this will help my understanding of things.

Dissociative Disorder
CPTSD
AVPD; Social avoidance
Previous/Psychotic clinical Depression
agoraphobia
obsessive/compulsive disorder
Evolution didn't stop my death, God did .....Now what?
0 Comments Viewed 4816 times

Who is online

Registered users: Baidu [Spider], Bing [Bot], Google [Bot], Google Adsense [Bot], Google Feedfetcher, IainEtc, Majestic-12 [Bot], Skysocal, Tyler, WileySoild