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OMNICELL
Consumer 6
Consumer 6
 
Posts: 1035
Joined: Tue Nov 15, 2011 5:06 am
Blog: View Blog (1021)
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- October 2019
Im still to young
   Fri Oct 18, 2019 4:36 pm
Age doesn't matter; PTSD does
   Sat Oct 12, 2019 11:17 pm
A fear of getting laid; a horrible fear
   Thu Oct 10, 2019 6:44 pm
She thought I was crazy; and she wasn't alone
   Wed Oct 09, 2019 5:00 am
Signs of handling reality
   Mon Oct 07, 2019 9:20 am

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Starting women

Permanent Linkby OMNICELL on Sun Sep 16, 2018 7:11 am

Their is no way I can start out with a normal active sexual women who thinks their getting a normal sexual active man; not possible.
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I need a special women to start with to get me back in the game. I can feel allot of anger and resistance; Has nothing to do with women! Has to do with my childhood that is not over yet! By being with women sexually; Im suggesting Im past the age of grade school; or that specific age I was pulled out of my neighborhood when young and destroyed! If moving on with women; this suggests Im not coming back to that age again or ever dealing with it or getting over it; Im leaving it and moving on! This is horribly traumatic for the child within me!
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In order to handle this situation; I need a starter women; a women that understands! Im not sure what that looks like; someone to get me back into the game! And; as I write this I get hit with horrible horrible thoughts and memories and fear thoughts and low self esteem thoughts and thoughts of being loathem and many other sick things; nothing to do with present women! Women represent that Im moving on; thats all they represent! IT means Ive dealt with the past and Im moving on!
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Im In the middle of this! I will work with the laws of attraction and attract the right women to make love to; getting me back in the game!
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Ive had other women want to make love; I would not respond to any of them; they are to ruff; from the wrong group of course people! to rough! To crude with no sensitivity to problems such as I have! They see men as all being the same; men have no problems! They would see me for my strength; not for who I am; they would be attracted to me but not interested in me!

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The next move is a starter women that would help me get started in the men/women arena again!

Dissociative Disorder
CPTSD
AVPD; Social avoidance
Previous/Psychotic clinical Depression
agoraphobia
obsessive/compulsive disorder
Evolution didn't stop my death, God did .....Now what?
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