Our partner

User avatar
OMNICELL
Consumer 6
Consumer 6
 
Posts: 1035
Joined: Tue Nov 15, 2011 5:06 am
Blog: View Blog (917)
Archives
- June 2019
going to meetings; Yuk
   Tue Jun 25, 2019 3:55 am
social is coming back; but its slow and about thinking
   Tue Jun 25, 2019 2:00 am
intimacy 3
   Mon Jun 24, 2019 11:26 am
1966 and 50 years later; or 50 years to late?
   Mon Jun 24, 2019 4:29 am
Coping with what has happened to me in this life
   Mon Jun 24, 2019 1:43 am
Visualizations
   Sat Jun 22, 2019 9:27 pm
Talents and development
   Sat Jun 22, 2019 12:39 pm
Money and women
   Sat Jun 22, 2019 12:19 pm
women and shame
   Fri Jun 21, 2019 5:53 am
Music creating; blocked
   Fri Jun 21, 2019 1:46 am
Im getting very close
   Fri Jun 21, 2019 1:25 am
Its hard when you were never loved.
   Thu Jun 20, 2019 5:29 pm
Things are changing
   Thu Jun 20, 2019 6:08 am
Cant finish anything I start; cant get started
   Thu Jun 20, 2019 3:36 am
Social isolation; social uphill climb
   Thu Jun 20, 2019 2:25 am
Feeling better inside
   Wed Jun 19, 2019 11:28 pm
Money
   Wed Jun 19, 2019 11:38 am
An interest in the arts
   Tue Jun 18, 2019 9:39 am
Social
   Mon Jun 17, 2019 10:32 pm
intimacy 2
   Mon Jun 17, 2019 4:02 pm
intimacy
   Mon Jun 17, 2019 10:51 am
Identity overwhelmed
   Sun Jun 16, 2019 10:22 am
re changing the present
   Wed Jun 12, 2019 3:45 pm
Working out of it; the struggle continues
   Tue Jun 11, 2019 4:14 pm
A new segment of life
   Tue Jun 11, 2019 1:07 am
dealing with life from zero to 18
   Mon Jun 10, 2019 8:13 pm
Connecting to things in the real world
   Mon Jun 10, 2019 11:53 am
Things are changing
   Mon Jun 10, 2019 4:43 am
I have to believe more
   Sat Jun 08, 2019 10:24 pm
liking myself and dating
   Thu Jun 06, 2019 8:46 pm
Dissociation
   Thu Jun 06, 2019 4:58 pm
Love
   Tue Jun 04, 2019 11:05 pm
Purpose
   Tue Jun 04, 2019 7:27 pm
Happiness
   Tue Jun 04, 2019 11:04 am
bulling and meditation and connection and...
   Sun Jun 02, 2019 8:03 pm
Bulling and meditation and connection and...
   Sun Jun 02, 2019 5:57 am
Childhood reconnection;
   Sat Jun 01, 2019 4:26 pm

+ May 2019
+ April 2019
+ March 2019
+ February 2019
+ January 2019
+ December 2018
+ November 2018
+ October 2018
+ September 2018
+ August 2018
+ July 2018
+ June 2018
+ May 2018
+ April 2018
+ March 2018
+ February 2018
+ January 2018
+ December 2017
+ November 2017
+ October 2017
+ September 2017
+ August 2017
+ July 2017
+ June 2017
+ May 2017
+ April 2017
+ March 2017
+ February 2017
+ January 2017
+ December 2016
+ November 2016
+ September 2016
+ August 2016
+ July 2016
+ June 2016
+ May 2016
+ April 2016
+ March 2016
+ February 2016
+ January 2016
+ December 2015
+ November 2015
+ October 2015
+ September 2015
+ August 2015
+ April 2015
+ March 2015
+ February 2015
+ January 2015
+ December 2014
+ November 2014
+ October 2014
+ September 2014
+ August 2014
+ July 2014
+ June 2014
+ May 2014
+ April 2014
+ March 2014
+ February 2014
+ January 2014
+ December 2013
+ November 2013
+ October 2013
+ September 2013
+ August 2013
+ July 2013
+ June 2013
+ May 2013
+ April 2013
+ March 2013
+ February 2013
+ January 2013
+ December 2012
+ November 2012
+ October 2012
+ September 2012
+ August 2012
+ July 2012
+ June 2012
+ May 2012
+ April 2012
+ March 2012
+ February 2012
+ January 2012
+ December 2011
+ November 2011
Search Blogs

Stange good things happening!

Permanent Linkby OMNICELL on Mon Sep 03, 2018 3:48 am

When fully dissociative; I would meet girls in my meetings! They would show up and take an interest in me! and it was good; but I could not respond to them in time! Soon, they would get the interest of another guy; and this would throw me off! in fact; it stunned me! and soon they would be hanging with these other guys; and I would think; why is she doing this when she likes me! I don't understand! and I didn't! and soon they would leave with another guy; hook up with them and have kids and a life!
.
I would feel bummed that I didn't get her! I thought she liked me!
.
Now; at times; I see these women come back in the rooms; and when I see them; their checking me out! but their also checking other guys out! big strong guys!
.
This actually happened to me lately; recently! and the universe is helping me get over it! For I saw this women looking at me; I thought she liked me; and at the same time she was checking out another guy! I could see in her that she was already hooked on him; in his mojo!
.
I felt horrible! I felt like I was raped inside!
.
I left those rooms; and stayed away for a month! Gods orders!
.
I work with the universe; and went back today to a meeting; I could feel the pull; and their they were; both of them together; her and her new boyfriend! They were not together yet when I left! I did not understand!
.
I now understand and I understand what the universe was trying to tell me!
.
.
I thought; When I met this women a while back; she seemed educated and intelligent! I thought she was a nice person!
.
I was wrong! this was a predator! Just like all the other people in the meetings; she was dressed like it and talked with articulation! I didn't understand; I was 2 ill; mentally ill! She is a predator just like every other sociopath in the meetings! In these specific type meetings!
.
I saw these 2 together and left; the universe was giving me information to correct me and help me!
I was making a predator; trying to make her into a human being; She is a monster!
.
I look back at her behavior and realize; she never liked me! even if she did; it was based on strength vs weakness nothing more! If Im strong enough; she will talk to me; if I appear more human; then Im weak! and I have no value!
.
So; surprise; this women is like everyone else that has come n gone from these rooms!
.
I am a stranger in those places; and Im trying to leave and go back to general life! And the more I go through these situations; the more it leads me out of these situations back around normal humans!

.
I tried to pray about this girl; fall in love with this girl; like this girl; want to care for this girl; help this girl! I tried to make her into someone that would want my help! This; within my imagination! In reality; their was no one like this that exists! She is a predator! and always has been; and has came to the right place; she is among her brother vampires and sister ghouls! The one that doesn't fit anymore is me; because Im getting a relationship with God and the universe and becoming a feeling human being again!
I tried to make her into someone that needed me and that I could fall in love with! no such person exists! And I had to wake up; God had to forcefully wake me up! I was dealing with a vampire they whole of the time; and I thought I was dealing with a nun from God!
.
So; Im learning; Im in a place with half zombie people; and I dont want it anymore nor need it anymore! I need to be back out into life again!
.
This women goal was 2 hurt me; set me up and hurt me; as she does all humans! Im no different! She did this to the last few guys she went out with! When she thought I was a psychopath a few years back; about 6; She loved how I talked and how strong I was; it turned her on! I didn't realize this; I thought she liked me because of my sensitivity! I was wrong! dead wrong!
.
Im learning; and Im learning to work with the universe to bring me and put me into situation with better quality people! It will take time!
.
Im glad this happened to me; because Im 2 nice a guy to be around this type of sickening filth any longer !
Its never Ok for a decent person to be around people that degrade you and make you feel insignificant! seriously, I dont need this; its ridiculous! The universe can bring me nice people! a nice soulmate! a decent person I can have as a best friend! I dont this scum around me! it makes me sick! Im glad my eyes are open to these fools!
.
The point is; they dont care how I feel! or what they do to these feelings; nothing; their like demons! And Ive also noticed they dont care what happened to their children either; a correlation I think!
.
Anyway; Im doing good; just have to find my more innocent people!
.
The people thing was hard for me before; now; Im closer to knowing what I dont want and what doesn't fit and whats phony!

Dissociative Disorder
CPTSD
AVPD; Social avoidance
Previous/Psychotic clinical Depression
agoraphobia
obsessive/compulsive disorder
Evolution didn't stop my death, God did .....Now what?
0 Comments Viewed 464 times

Who is online

Registered users: AProphet, Baidu [Spider], Bing [Bot], birdsong87, Exabot [Bot], Google [Bot], Google Adsense [Bot], Google Feedfetcher, hocdsufferer, justonemoreperson, loveveryone, Philonoe, PiterToile, TheCollective, Tyler