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OMNICELL
Consumer 6
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Joined: Tue Nov 15, 2011 5:06 am
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Stange good things happening!

Permanent Linkby OMNICELL on Mon Sep 03, 2018 3:48 am

When fully dissociative; I would meet girls in my meetings! They would show up and take an interest in me! and it was good; but I could not respond to them in time! Soon, they would get the interest of another guy; and this would throw me off! in fact; it stunned me! and soon they would be hanging with these other guys; and I would think; why is she doing this when she likes me! I don't understand! and I didn't! and soon they would leave with another guy; hook up with them and have kids and a life!
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I would feel bummed that I didn't get her! I thought she liked me!
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Now; at times; I see these women come back in the rooms; and when I see them; their checking me out! but their also checking other guys out! big strong guys!
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This actually happened to me lately; recently! and the universe is helping me get over it! For I saw this women looking at me; I thought she liked me; and at the same time she was checking out another guy! I could see in her that she was already hooked on him; in his mojo!
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I felt horrible! I felt like I was raped inside!
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I left those rooms; and stayed away for a month! Gods orders!
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I work with the universe; and went back today to a meeting; I could feel the pull; and their they were; both of them together; her and her new boyfriend! They were not together yet when I left! I did not understand!
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I now understand and I understand what the universe was trying to tell me!
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I thought; When I met this women a while back; she seemed educated and intelligent! I thought she was a nice person!
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I was wrong! this was a predator! Just like all the other people in the meetings; she was dressed like it and talked with articulation! I didn't understand; I was 2 ill; mentally ill! She is a predator just like every other sociopath in the meetings! In these specific type meetings!
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I saw these 2 together and left; the universe was giving me information to correct me and help me!
I was making a predator; trying to make her into a human being; She is a monster!
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I look back at her behavior and realize; she never liked me! even if she did; it was based on strength vs weakness nothing more! If Im strong enough; she will talk to me; if I appear more human; then Im weak! and I have no value!
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So; surprise; this women is like everyone else that has come n gone from these rooms!
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I am a stranger in those places; and Im trying to leave and go back to general life! And the more I go through these situations; the more it leads me out of these situations back around normal humans!

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I tried to pray about this girl; fall in love with this girl; like this girl; want to care for this girl; help this girl! I tried to make her into someone that would want my help! This; within my imagination! In reality; their was no one like this that exists! She is a predator! and always has been; and has came to the right place; she is among her brother vampires and sister ghouls! The one that doesn't fit anymore is me; because Im getting a relationship with God and the universe and becoming a feeling human being again!
I tried to make her into someone that needed me and that I could fall in love with! no such person exists! And I had to wake up; God had to forcefully wake me up! I was dealing with a vampire they whole of the time; and I thought I was dealing with a nun from God!
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So; Im learning; Im in a place with half zombie people; and I dont want it anymore nor need it anymore! I need to be back out into life again!
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This women goal was 2 hurt me; set me up and hurt me; as she does all humans! Im no different! She did this to the last few guys she went out with! When she thought I was a psychopath a few years back; about 6; She loved how I talked and how strong I was; it turned her on! I didn't realize this; I thought she liked me because of my sensitivity! I was wrong! dead wrong!
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Im learning; and Im learning to work with the universe to bring me and put me into situation with better quality people! It will take time!
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Im glad this happened to me; because Im 2 nice a guy to be around this type of sickening filth any longer !
Its never Ok for a decent person to be around people that degrade you and make you feel insignificant! seriously, I dont need this; its ridiculous! The universe can bring me nice people! a nice soulmate! a decent person I can have as a best friend! I dont this scum around me! it makes me sick! Im glad my eyes are open to these fools!
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The point is; they dont care how I feel! or what they do to these feelings; nothing; their like demons! And Ive also noticed they dont care what happened to their children either; a correlation I think!
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Anyway; Im doing good; just have to find my more innocent people!
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The people thing was hard for me before; now; Im closer to knowing what I dont want and what doesn't fit and whats phony!

Dissociative Disorder
CPTSD
AVPD; Social avoidance
Previous/Psychotic clinical Depression
agoraphobia
obsessive/compulsive disorder
Evolution didn't stop my death, God did .....Now what?
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