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OMNICELL
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Stability points

Permanent Linkby OMNICELL on Tue May 10, 2016 5:09 pm

Stability points;

In the beginning I had several stability points; or what I would call believed stability points! In reality, these stability points were not stable! However, I did not know! I was to young to know! These stability points; parents, house, neighborhood, relatives, town, TV, school, brothers! These type of things are what make life safe for a child! When they are taken away, a child freezes up and goes into a state of terror shock! The psychopath is one such animal that will take a child hostage and rip all stability areas away; making the child dependent on the psychopath! Such things cause Stolk-home syndrome in the child!

Example of stability points; Here is an imaginative view of stability points!

Lets assume you go into a dock of boats; you look around and see people you trust getting on those boats! Soon, a friend of yours invites you to one of the boats! You see the boat on the water at the dock! It floats! Its been their for years and appears stable! You, learn to trust your surroundings! You enter the boat! Have a party on the boat and exit the boat! And through the year, you repeat this several times! You have confidence that the boat is stable! All the other boats appear to be stable as well!

Un stable support; an example!

You are at the dock, your friend appears, you enter the same boat talked about in the above paragraph! Everything is fine! You fall asleep! The next thing you know, your waking up in water! Your friends are nowhere to be seen! You've been lied to! The boat was never stable; it sank! Yet, for 1 year before it appeared stable! And your friends; they appeared your friends! Now things are different! You longer value the boat you sank in; but fear it! And now, you no longer trust any of the boats at the dock or the dock! And you do not trust your friends anymore; they might lead you on and leave you to drown in the water!
And thus your world just got a little smaller! You no longer go out on boats or docks and have few friends; you don't trust them, now that you have been taken advantage of!

You are hurt and feel sorry! No more parties for you! And no more docks and boats to be invited to! And you don't get to go with the popular crowd anymore onto the docks; you are obviously not wanted their anymore! Maybe you never were; I mean, they tried to sink you on a boat, and then they left you!

So; what appeared at first as friendly and safe and allowed you to feel worldly; as if you were making positive gains in the world; this is stripped from you, and you are ripped up and hurt! And no longer trust this part of the world or the people in it!

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In the world of a child; a child needs these stability points to survive! They must have them or they will go into psychological shock! Parents cant neglect human children as if they are wild animals! The children wont survive! The human race does not do such things to children unless those in charge are drugged out or psychopathic!

All stability points were ripped away from me as a child; including the town I grew up in! The false parent system was ripped away when I was awakened to whom they really were; sycophant perverted degenerates; psychopaths!

I had nowhere to go! After being thrown away and abandon; I had no place to go! I belonged to no one and or anything! All things human were gone!

Abandoning a child in this fashion is no less then murder! And psychopaths murder children; Im trying to make a point here! It's the same behavior!

The psychopath with give you away to the state; or give you back; technically your birth certificate and that social security number suggest you are owned by the state and give to the parents for the privilege of bringing you up!

If this sick parenting system give you away to a relative; it means they don't want anyone to know! They are tying to hide it and keep it legal! They dont always! But, what is a psychopath supposed to do with underage children; where do they go! They can either kill them or give them away! The psychopath; if they want to continue to successfully hide in society; they must make things look up-n-up!

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The sad truth! The truth is; a young child may not know about the psychopaths and their exploitations!

I walked around having fun as a child at times; and did so with my brothers! Who later are nothing but sociopathic sycophants; atleast one of them; the other is a degenerate! Niether are safe to be around; One is a sociopathic thief! My land and inheritance was stolen from him; as was everything else!

====================================================================================

How do I get back on my feet again and trust the world and trust the surroundings and the school systems and teachers and people and this whole experience! How do I trust again!

When you abandon and in the middle of this; all you know how to do is go back to the psychopath; you have no other family, and you dont understand what happened! No one cares what happened to you or if they ever see you again! And why would they if their psychopaths! But you dont know any of this yet!

In the recovery process; you have to be weened of the psychopaths! They are all you have left! If you get rid of them; they're no more anchor points of remembers of your life! You are truly alone in this world with nothing!

You are literally raped or ripped out by the roots of you origins; your city and town and neighborhood you grew up in! or, are growing up in! there is no trace of you at some point! its as if you were never born or in that neighborhood or town! its as if you're not apart of anything anymore! where do you go! who do you talk to! you're a stranger now; in this town! complete!

The brothers you have are not yours! They are strangers; and you don't want to ever see them again; ever! And they don't care!~ and never will! They are pathological and sociopathic!

In the recovery process; I have to face these memories of the past and learn to process them and then defrag them and get rid of them!

Whats it like to come back to the living and repair of self after something like this? Im learning that the psychopaths don't have to be around; they are in your head! I was trained to depend on them no matter what, for my life! They were all I had left! And they wanted it that way! And you feel so worthless and nothingness and if you loose them you will surely die and be nothing; I was taught not to survive; instead, I was taught to depend on the psychopath 100% and have learned helplessness!

Stolk home syndrome; this is a big problem! You cave into the psychopaths and loose your own way and identity! It is crushed out of you so you can survive! You either become like your captures and go along with them and learn to loose yourself and be like them or you starve and or are abandon to death!

Im now dealing with Stolkhome syndrome! Ive been dealing with for a long time; However, its really apparent; its grip on me!

Its as if I cant move without the psychopaths permission and the psychopaths have been gone for years! and Im just now facing them in my heart and mind; its that terrifying!

The child becomes death level'd terrified! its sickening to go through what Ive gone through! its sickening to be under the control of these type of worthless Godless criminal perverts! its sickening!

Im slowly allowing the real me to branch out again and take chances! its very hard; its in an area I was ruptured; my personality! ITs this core area that is slowly coming out! slowly! Im relearning how to come back out as self! its a very slow slow affair! one small step at a time! and each step makes you feel like you might step on a land mine and blow up! its very hard! Lots n lots of PTSD in every step! my mind is full of terror cluster thoughts! horrible things and feelings!

The idea is to gain back the freedom to take a step in the right direction without feeling controlled from within myself from the psychopaths! they still have control over me as if they are here as ghosts within me!
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The worst part is things like vacations I remember! all those memories must be destroyed and burned up in the fire! I was being expiated! and none of these scumbags I was forced to live with should have been around people; none of them!

I was used and exploited! When your used and groomed and exploited; they purposefully make everything appear to be fun and real; with the idea of destroying you in the end or in the process; its a set up or ambush! they are literally ambushing children for the fun of it! psychopaths do this naturally! you wont see it coming when your a child! you will think everything is normal; I wont suspect anyone because your not looking for it! you not aware anything is wrong! The psychopaths groom you into believing this on purpose! the intent of the psychopath is a perverted one! in a sense, they want to take children from society, kid nap them and abuse them in different ways to get their rocks of; they play sadistic games that lead back to leveling the child into submission! its a deadly situation for a child; they will not survive it!

I thought my father was on my side! I built a whole world of trust simply from having him around when he was around! yet, in reality, their was no such person! instead! this was a dangerous sociopath potential serial rapist play acting the part of father; at times! In reality, the only time this degenerate was around, for vacations or activities he did not pay for! he never payed for anything! He would show up and act the role of solid father figure in total control; and I look back at the meager experiences of this; the money for the food or snow cones or boats or swimming stuff; He got the money from the psychopath! she only gave it to me to exploit and groom him into believing he was in a system! Her intent was the bigger family system to hide in! she cared nothing for a husband or children! these were objects; much like Jeffery Dahmer saw his victims! Like Dahmer; ultimately, they want your head cut off; or psychologically cut out or cut off to make you fully controlled by them! They have no connection to you! its all fake! they are manipulators and nothing more!


as if he was the head of a house and working and taking care of everything! In reality, he was a joker playing of the innocence of others in order to fool them into allowing him some free experiences he did not have to pay for!

For example; for him to be around us; children; this was a freebie! He simply lied of who he was, acted like he was paying for everything! he would show up and go on a trip that was fun; then you would not see him again in any activity in your person life!~

I had no idea he owned nothing! so when it was time for him to leave and tell everyone to go to hell; it was easy! he just left! he took nothing with him he came with! However, he bought all kinds of stuff! he purchased basic boats, snowmobiles, tools, skies! many other things! and payed for nothing! he took some of these things with him; then came back later and robbed the house I was living in and got the rest! He would use us children as shields and excuses incase the police showed up!
And I cannot explain what it does to a small child when you find out you're not loved and the people that are supposed to take care of you and give you a life are basically murder's that will murder you eventually! No conscious, no remorse! No matter what they do; they never look back!


; He had nothing to start with! He used everyone; took advantage of everyone and then left!

I was thrown away, and I'm trying to get my original self back; get inflated again in the present! My ability to be here n how was destroyed; it was terror'rd out of me! Destroyed! Im now attempting to get it back with independence;' having the past as only a faded memory as I work toward my life once again!

With God; all things are possible!

You simply want to be loved again and taken care of and watched over lovingly and allowed to grow and develop into the person you were always supposed to be! Not one person when I was young; not one cared if I was dead or alive! they were all lying! all of them! even the " friends" I had down the street! their were no friends down the street, or any street! anywhere!

The sadist part is to look back a failed life! a life that was ripped away from me! all that time and looses and I had no control over it!

Im not the only one! some children never make it out alive!

Im lucky?! I guess! Ive done so much recovery work; my life is coming back to being real and full again in the present! its being restored, but the price for this is un imaginable! I cannot describe the butchery and horror and lonely terror of the recovery process; blood in; blood out!

I think of all the times I depended on brothers and others in this system; when the whole time they were sociopaths and psychopaths and I was getting sicker and sicker and sicker away from my human goals; simply by being around them!

its dangerous to be around psychopaths! its bad news to talk to them or associate with them! you will be affronted by them in minutes! they are worthless creatures! I cannot describe it! its beyond manipulation! its sadistic exploration and deception; thats all it is!

Dissociative Disorder
CPTSD
AVPD; Social avoidance
Previous/Psychotic clinical Depression
agoraphobia
obsessive/compulsive disorder
Evolution didn't stop my death, God did .....Now what?
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