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OMNICELL
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Consumer 6
 
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Joined: Tue Nov 15, 2011 5:06 am
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- November 2019
Social skills improving
   Thu Nov 07, 2019 12:51 am
My goal is to work through adolescence.
   Fri Nov 01, 2019 9:16 pm

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Soulmates

Permanent Linkby OMNICELL on Tue Mar 14, 2017 9:42 pm

What am I learning about soulmates!

Here we go again! the child in me gets raped again!

Most of the women I meet are evil! pure evil! not all of them; some are respectable decent! I know; because I know them!

And yet, I was set up again! this time by an authentic soulmate! Set up means, someone saw me, groomed me to take a fall; set me up, manipulated me! Here we go again! However, this time Ive got God to turn to!

Its easy to set me up; Im fairly innocent; easy target! I fall for a pretty face; I see a women looking at me like she likes me and she's intreated; I fall for it!

This last women played me for a very sick long time to get my attention! once she got it up to a certain point; she brought another man around out of nowhere! She knew exactly what she was doing! I don't know why she did this! its a form of hatred or contempt! I don't know!

I must look at the whole picture!

First, no way did God bring this person into my life! so, she is not an authentic soulmate! However, she played it up very well! I had no idea she was a fraud; simply because Im not one!

I used the laws of attraction to attract! However, this was the wrong person to attract! I don't think I attracted her! I think it was murky and fake; one of those situations where you could not actually pic a situation where she revealed anything was wrong; meaning, you could not accuse her of anything! She kept things under raps! meaning, she could talk her away out of any moment toward me! she could claim we were just strangers talking or we were just meeting gowers having a chat!

I got led on! and it was fake! thats what worries me! how easy it was; how I wanted to believe it! and it was fake! I was so gullible for it! I was openly used by someone!

I actually thought this was a soulmate! I thought she was a soulmate by the way she looked at me! In any other case, 99% of the people would agree~ unfortunately, Im one of the 1% that its not real!

After being led on for a long time and things slowly opening up a bit, and I opening up to her a bit more; at that moment of moving in; she has another boy friend; right then! And this completely shocked me! I did not expect it! I was being played the whole time!

My thing; the Universe was showing up with a soulmate! Now I believe, the Universe has never shown up with a soulmate; not yet! Ive gotten hit with players playing games! nothing more! It hurts! I don't like these kind of scumbags! it hurts! I didn't expect it!

I must remember that it takes a long time for me to get close to people! So, Im not responding to them!

Its very hard tell who to talk to and who to not talk to; who to ask out, who to take interest in! I don't know?
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God!

So, I work with God! God does not send me people that are going to betray me and cause this level of pain! The child in me was set up by this person! groomed by this person, manipulated by this person! and finally ripped to pieces by this person when my defenses or boundaries were down! As soon as they dropped I child in me was ripped apart! And thus was the whole goal of this sociopath!

I wish to hell I would not keep attracting these worthless scum! They are Godless!

I had a chance to listen to this person; the real person wasn't in trouble; she was fine! she didn't need anyone saving her or loving her! she had her personal life more together then some I've meet studying success based thinking!

She was not looking for me! she was playing me because nothing would happen to her! she wouldn't loose out; she could get away with it!

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God, in his own way allowed me to keep my ears open and listen! and listen I did! I began to ear things I did not like! She was turning out the opposite of a recovery person!

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I must trust God! work with source energy, get over this and allow God to send out rockets of desire and pick up the people he wants around me! he will bring them to me! The problem is; I was fooled this time and thought this person came from God! I was wrong! God never sent them!

I have to look at a specific problem of mine! The child in me goes blind! I want love and friendship and I start liking someone and I try make them out to be safe; their not safe! I don't seem to care until its 2 late! I get used because I allow myself to get involved!

Why am I allowing myself to get involved; my dream world tells me she is cute and would be a good girlfriend! I can see us together doing everything and I would love her! and I fall into this trap every time! and it seems like the predators that are waiting for me; see me a mile away!

The problem is; Im not starting out with someone that likes me; Im starting out with someone that is playing me! So, they don't count! I might have months and months of my life waisted by these scumbags! They don't count! they just waist your time! they just waisting time playing innocent people into the ground!

And who am I; I was just a guy that wanted a girlfriend or soulmate! Interestingly enough, I wanted a soulmate and thats what I got! I got a fake replica of a soulmate!

After the person playing me into the ground, they had a new boyfriend to protect them!

Im not going to say; why cant I learn; ever learn! thats not the idea! The idea is; I must turn to God and align with God and really think about who and what is going on around me!

This girl used her pretty face to attract me and who knows how many others! it worked! its just a game for them! they have no conscious; what do they care!

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I have to start over! I did not want to find a girl friend based on safety! I did not want to go out with a women because I can trust her! I wanted more then that! Trust is not enough for a relationship! I wanted a real person I found attractive that I liked! Im not going to be forced to pic girlfriends based on one issue; trust!

Im attracting the same kind of pathological monsters that I came from in my early life! I can see the patterns!

Dissociative Disorder
CPTSD
AVPD; Social avoidance
Previous/Psychotic clinical Depression
agoraphobia
obsessive/compulsive disorder
Evolution didn't stop my death, God did .....Now what?
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