Our partner

User avatar
OMNICELL
Consumer 6
Consumer 6
 
Posts: 1052
Joined: Tue Nov 15, 2011 5:06 am
Blog: View Blog (1751)
Archives
- March 2024
A gift from God #2
   Sat Mar 16, 2024 9:21 pm
The Gift from God…
   Tue Mar 12, 2024 5:29 pm
2 goals; elements of accomplishment
   Tue Mar 12, 2024 1:41 pm
Work Ethic is Needed Please
   Tue Mar 12, 2024 4:46 am
Some Solutions; Lot of Hope
   Thu Mar 07, 2024 5:39 am

+ February 2024
+ January 2024
+ December 2023
+ November 2023
+ October 2023
+ September 2023
+ August 2023
+ July 2023
+ June 2023
+ May 2023
+ April 2023
+ March 2023
+ February 2023
+ January 2023
+ December 2022
+ November 2022
+ October 2022
+ September 2022
+ August 2022
+ July 2022
+ June 2022
+ May 2022
+ April 2022
+ March 2022
+ February 2022
+ January 2022
+ December 2021
+ November 2021
+ October 2021
+ September 2021
+ August 2021
+ July 2021
+ June 2021
+ May 2021
+ April 2021
+ March 2021
+ February 2021
+ January 2021
+ December 2020
+ November 2020
+ October 2020
+ September 2020
+ August 2020
+ July 2020
+ June 2020
+ May 2020
+ April 2020
+ March 2020
+ February 2020
+ January 2020
+ December 2019
+ November 2019
+ October 2019
+ September 2019
+ August 2019
+ July 2019
+ June 2019
+ May 2019
+ April 2019
+ March 2019
+ February 2019
+ January 2019
+ December 2018
+ November 2018
+ October 2018
+ September 2018
+ August 2018
+ July 2018
+ June 2018
+ May 2018
+ April 2018
+ March 2018
+ February 2018
+ January 2018
+ December 2017
+ November 2017
+ October 2017
+ September 2017
+ August 2017
+ July 2017
+ June 2017
+ May 2017
+ April 2017
+ March 2017
+ February 2017
+ January 2017
+ December 2016
+ November 2016
+ September 2016
+ August 2016
+ July 2016
+ June 2016
+ May 2016
+ April 2016
+ March 2016
+ February 2016
+ January 2016
+ December 2015
+ November 2015
+ October 2015
+ September 2015
+ August 2015
+ April 2015
+ March 2015
+ February 2015
+ January 2015
+ December 2014
+ November 2014
+ October 2014
+ September 2014
+ August 2014
+ July 2014
+ June 2014
+ May 2014
+ April 2014
+ March 2014
+ February 2014
+ January 2014
+ December 2013
+ November 2013
+ October 2013
+ September 2013
+ August 2013
+ July 2013
+ June 2013
+ May 2013
+ April 2013
+ March 2013
+ February 2013
+ January 2013
+ December 2012
+ November 2012
+ October 2012
+ September 2012
+ August 2012
+ July 2012
+ June 2012
+ May 2012
+ April 2012
+ March 2012
+ February 2012
+ January 2012
+ December 2011
+ November 2011
Search Blogs

Somewhere lost in the riptide

Permanent Linkby OMNICELL on Mon Dec 25, 2017 3:59 am

Im so in between things; Im losing the past; loosing touch with all of it and falling; I'm falling and falling and falling!
.
Im land in a strange place; a purgatory; its just a place before the storm!
.
Im truly moving ahead! Im moving into the darkness and entering another door and Im gone!
.
Im moving forward into my next life; into dreams! Im scared; even the child in me knows something is wrong; something is moving!
.
I see the child within me; he's about 3 or 4. he's playing in the front room with trucks and Lincoln logs! and he looks around the room, the wind outside is howling, the earth quake and the room is moving and cracks are in the floor and everything is vibrating and branches and tree limbs and leaves are entering the room from outside! Nothing is stable; this memory system is de stabilizing; its beginning to crack; its housing is breaking apart! all of it! The whole of the memory structure that kept this an altered state is crumbling! Once its crumbles, ill not live their anymore; ill be back in the present! Ive never been in the present alone like this! I have the present people but no relatives or people of my original past! no one! its a bit to much to stomach! At least when I was hiding; I was hiding!
.
So, Im making real movement into a new life. and when this new life hits; the old doors and the old places will have no more reason or purpose; it will be like a ghost amusement park! Something abandon for 1000 years!
.
Im in the middle of this change; I have different years of my youth; my childhood; all lies! meaning; I have to explain to the child in me to run; that nothing in his time is safe; nothing! regardless of what he's doing right now in my memories; run; run for your life! Get out of their! The point is; nothing is safe, all is evil; run for your life! Now; go! run! run away! nothing is as it appears! run; run as fast and as far away as you can until you come to the end of the earth; and still; that wont be fare enough!
.
nothing is as it appears in those days; its all lies. The calm of living on a nice street is a lie; all of it; it is all contrived! it is a giant sadistic predator based exploitation of citizens! These people running this and their relatives are all evil bad bad people! pure evil; in every area!
.
Im in the middle, Ive already crossed! but I crossed on to land and now I stand between the ocean where I was on a raft to areas of the land way in land next to the beginning of my new life! Im In a place that you cant see the ocean anymore or anything else I came from! Im fare enough inland that looking forward is the focus of the eye!
.
I want my life back, but I wanted the safety and stability of a family to go with it; kind of like children who are playing in snow in someones yard; its getting late and you run home to a cozy hot fire and hot chocolate. You have a place to go home to! its part of why the adventure in the snow is so much fun; when your done, you get to go home!
.
Im in a strange place where Im feeling like that kid in the snow, but Im not going home to the original place! and Im working to feel OK about this and safe! In order to pull this off, my past has to appear safe to me; this means, everything worked through and worked out! I have to come through my past experience; felt them, dealt with them and moved on! Not so easy!
.
I have to build a relationship with source energy! A real deep fathomable relationship!
.
I have to work with source enrergy God for the things I need! Right now; I need different therapists; psych groups! I have to work with source energy!
.
Im in the middle of a change! I have to go places, that can help with that change! I will reach out to God and keep working on it! I need safe places to go!
.
I suppose Ill being allot of writing on this place!

Dissociative Disorder
CPTSD
AVPD; Social avoidance
Previous/Psychotic clinical Depression
agoraphobia
obsessive/compulsive disorder
Evolution didn't stop my death, God did .....Now what?
0 Comments Viewed 8293 times

Who is online

Registered users: ArchieCeatt, Bing [Bot], Google [Bot], Google Feedfetcher, HarleyTelve, Houstonfrest, Majestic-12 [Bot], MichaelInody, OMNICELL