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OMNICELL
Consumer 6
Consumer 6
 
Posts: 1035
Joined: Tue Nov 15, 2011 5:06 am
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- December 2019
more changes ahead.
   Sun Dec 01, 2019 4:49 pm

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Social skills improving

Permanent Linkby OMNICELL on Thu Nov 07, 2019 12:51 am

Ive been working a recovery process for a long time; However, I started success based thinking skills about 6 years ago. For the last 4 years; the goal has been social. Im slowly working closer and closer to the center and waking up.
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Dissociative disorder walls;
Because of abuse when young; my mind was trained to defer itself. When getting close to being expressively free; I went inside myself because of the monstrosity of my situation; not always presented in front of me; at many times; it was covert; this evil that created a pathway to my abuse; meaning; at times the abuse was running silent; but still running. My mind would go inside itself in almost an autistic way.
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Now; when dealing with social interactions and talent interactions and work interactions; any interactions; I shut down and go inside myself and don't deal with what's outside in front of me. Recently Ive realized I have no choice; its hardwired. So; my goal is to unwire the harness.
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Ive realized it started trauma problems before I was 4 years old; before I could remember anything; my first memory was at 3 1/2 years old; it was the psychopath in the car saying horrible things to me...... I was already hardened to dealing with it. Its always saddening to remember this because it was my first memories of awareness in life. ITs not fair.... Not fair for any child to be disadvantaged.
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I was at the meetings and my ability to talk to certain people is much stronger and more confident and more positive and the focus is on them; not me; not needy or needing to be about me and Im less able to be manipulated; because Ive notice many that if they think they can get away with it flip the conversation backward finding themselves in a power position to manipulate me or shame me or control me. Im not allowing this anymore.
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Had a women I know; we were standing in line for food at a meeting; She was talking to someone and addressed me as. "He"; she was making an example of something in her life and I was the example; I immediacy stopped her and with some aggressiveness; Told her my name in a sense that my name is_______! I did it over over several times; she got the message and she didn't like that message. She didn't want to show me respect for who I am; She is a modern user of men.
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The feminist movement is destroying relationships between men and women. Ive dealt with this a bit lately. I end up walking away or getting hardened to the people practicing it and stay away for good.. Whats interesting; the people practicing this arnt sure what to do. They cant attack because I never go near them but its out of disgust; I don't put an eye on to them and they are not sure how to proceed. They find themselves isolated and alone...
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Anyway; Socially speaking; Im doing better; better then I ever have... But what does that mean. I means my ability to talk to people is stronger face to face. Face to face is what it's about for me today. Ive gotten stronger because I continue to be forced into new situations where I have to be face to face and show my emotions. Not easy. .
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My goal is to have transportation and find myself with new groups of people and talk to them; practice conversation.
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Dissociative Disorder
CPTSD
AVPD; Social avoidance
Previous/Psychotic clinical Depression
agoraphobia
obsessive/compulsive disorder
Evolution didn't stop my death, God did .....Now what?
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