Im an AVPD! What does this mean! It means Im now hanging out in back with others at my meeting places and dealing with it! Im not waiting around for others to rescue me! Im talking to several women, asking them out! Getting turned down! No one considers me special! Im just their! But Im trying!
Other women are showing up around me! Im trying! Women have told me they like the way I look! But it matters not! It means nothing to me! Im attempting through practice in the real world to over come my fears! It's not easy! And women don't make it any easier! But one has to get strong and pull back from one set of people or clan and move a few feet to another! Im trying! It matters not! Its all practice in close range with others!
So, what do I get out of this! Real world, pure social! No nets, no safety! Your in the group! Survive!
Ive had one on one with several women! Im OK! Nothing to write home about! I can hardly keep their interest! It's Ok! Ill keep working at it!
Im not Mr confidence! Yet, Im willing to get out their and try!
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It takes hours of work! You have to put your hours in; socially to come back to being popular and interesting! You have to learn to be spontaneous on your feet! Many people aren't interested! They talk with others and move on! They're not doing it to practice; like I am!
Im trying to show the Universe that Im trying!
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SO, Im in my second phase of recovery! What are my goals! First let me say that I practice visualizations and re writing my story several times a day; one area included is; approaching women, talking to women, asking women out or for phone numbers! I visualize as if in first person! Im visualizing a women in front of me and Im walking up, talking to her! Shaking her hands! It's a good idea to practice a script with this imaginary women in my head; talking to her! Everything you practice if you practice at-least a few minutes at a time! This will turn into memories in your subconscious! You will remember them as if you've really experienced them! Then, when you get around a real women, you would be surprised! You'll walk up to her, tap on the shoulder, shake her hand, introduce yourself and start talking!
One area of learning; you have to understand that women are hot and cold! Some times their into you and sometimes they're not! You have to simply keep working at it and understand that many of them will slip through your fingers! This is not the time to worry about rejection! You have to get tough'n up for this!
Women might be playing hard to get for A while! you don't give up! one has to get use to this stuff!
So, I manifest many things in my imagination; including a large part of social! If Im interested in a soulmate! It will come from my beginning interactions with others! The key is to not give up regardless of how others react to you!
Take chances with people! You might ask out several women and only a few take the bait!
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Keeping my weight down! This is a huge problem! I know how to fix it! I must learn to like fixing it on a daily basis! Im allowing myself to get big! No reason for it! I like to eat! And I eat way to much!
I will clean my place up! women are coming over!
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The gaol is to become comfortable! And to be the real me with confidence! Im a good speaker from the corner of a room! Not so good in front of you! I loose all my self esteem! So, personal interaction is whats important!
Practice!